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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be pissed off about people who complain about how tired they are

119 replies

PunkrockerGirl · 30/08/2015 19:44

I am not including parents with babies or young children. Or people with older children with disabilities.
I mean people like my colleague who bounces into work saying she's really tired because she's only had 5 hours sleep. This is a one off for her, she says she sleeps well normally but we should make allowances for her today.
I would donate a limb/kidney for 5 hours sleep. Average between 3-4 hours and don't expect allowances to be made for me.

OP posts:

hazeyjane · 30/08/2015 22:22

I think it's quite a sad state of affairs if people can't talk about how they are feeling just because someone else may be worse. Everyone's problems are bad to them.

exactly, Sirzy.

maybebabybee · 30/08/2015 22:23

Jesus, some people on here will find offense in an empty room.

....says the individual who gets offended by a colleague saying she is tired

Original poster

PunkrockerGirl · 30/08/2015 22:24

Oh Mintyy, how funny you love to believe you are.

OP posts:

Mintyy · 30/08/2015 22:26

Original poster

PunkrockerGirl · 30/08/2015 22:29

right back at you, oh wise funny one.

OP posts:

GiddyOnZackHunt · 30/08/2015 22:34

But why don't you sleep? It changes the whole loading of the thread.

RonaldMcDonald · 30/08/2015 22:42

Little sleep is a thing that you have to come to terms with - either learn about better sleep hygiene or come to terms with a few hours plus reat to make up the time

I'm not a sleeper but it is what it is, I'm with Mintyy

OhYouBadBadKitten · 30/08/2015 22:55

is anyone else yawning everytime they read the word 'yawn'?

Mintyy · 30/08/2015 22:58

Well, I've obviously pissed you off just as much as your colleague has at some point or other op. Hope you aren't being kept awake at night by this pissedoffedness.

NurseRoscoe · 30/08/2015 23:14

As long as you understand that children aren't the only reason people struggle to sleep or feel tired. I am pregnant and have carpal tunnel that actually wakes me up in the night. I do have young children too but they sleep well. In the past I have had horrible depression/anxiety episodes that stop me sleeping and anxiety tends to contribute to why I can't fall back to sleep now. On top of that I am anaemic. So definitely sympathise with the tiredness! To me, it sounds like she made an offhand comment that wasn't meant as a dig though, it wouldn't piss me off as my problems/complications are my business, not anyone else's responsibility to walk on eggshells around me. YANBU to feel annoyed, tiredness does make you more likely to get annoyed at everything, however you would be unreasonable to say anything or fall out with her over it.

ShadowLine · 30/08/2015 23:19

Maybe she thinks her performance at work will be badly affected if she's had less sleep than normal? Agree it's a shame if people can't talk about how they're a bit more tired than normal just in case there's someone around who has worse sleep problems.

Nice of you to let parents with young DC complain about tiredness though. When I went back to work after maternity leave, my colleagues all made it very near that I shouldn't mention being tired because, "well, you chose to have babies, what did you expect?" Even if I was tired for a completely non- child related reason, like DH being on call from home overnight and his mobile waking me every hour whilst the DC slept soundly all night, unacceptable for me to mention the tiredness because of the small DC.

I wouldn't have minded so much if there'd been the same sort of "well, it's all your own fault" attitude about colleagues complaining about being tired because they'd been out till 2am at concerts on a work night.

DrCoconut · 30/08/2015 23:22

I'm 38 weeks pregnant and have had awful sleep issues since about week 25. I seldom get to sleep before 4am and then am awake again within 4 hours. I am standing beside my own head with tiredness and hormones and thee is little I can do -no sleeping tablets etc and all the horlicks, baths etc in the world don't help. Then DH moans that he's knackered because he only managed 8 hours sleep the previous night.......gives me the rage. I suppose rationally YABU but from my current irrational standpoint I feel your pain!

BlinkAndMiss · 30/08/2015 23:32

YANBU - it's annoying and something I used to do. When my DH became ill and had disrupted sleep I then realised what being tired actually was. I immediately stopped telling people I was tired because there is nothing worse than trying to cope with being tired when someone is constantly reminding you how tired you are. It's also very hard to be sympathetic when you are sleep deprived.

5 years into sleep deprivation and I have no tolerance for people who are tired because of something they have control over. They need to keep it to themselves.

MamaLazarou · 30/08/2015 23:45

Ah, competitive tiredness. I remember it well.

Cherryblossomsinspring · 31/08/2015 01:47

It's not a competition. YABU, sometimes people other than parents feel tired! Many people have insomnia at some point in life. I wouldn't begrudge them a complain about that and wold even be able to sympathise without saying 'well I'M tired!'. And I have 2 under 2 and am pregnant.

coffeeisnectar · 31/08/2015 01:57

I have an almost 10 year old who wakes up regularly in the early hours with nightmares and has done all her life.

I am in pain all the time and regularly end up awake on and off through the night.

And then I was undiagnosed for nearly two years with aneamia. Docs kept blaming meds and changing them about until a nurse sent me for tests.

I get tired easily and regularly fall asleep during the day.

A friend (ex friend) has a child with sn and no one is allowed to be more tired than her. Even though her husband will sit with the child to let her sleep. You sound like her, it's not a competition.

londonrach · 31/08/2015 06:33

Shadow...you so right. There are loads of reasons why people cant sleep. We've been struggling to sleep more than 2-3-4 hours for several weeks. We solved the problem but moving bedrooms and keeping the windows closed (big tree outside window and lots of biting insects) but it took us several weeks of poor sleep or no sleep to find out why? I feel like im coming out of a zombie state at the moment. Compared to about three weeks ago i cant believe how i feel now. Wishing everyone for whatever reason a restful night or days sleep x

Justcurious15 · 31/08/2015 07:17

Blink how exactly do you know they have control over it?

Justcurious15 · 31/08/2015 07:20

I also work with people and have family members going through Chemo OP and if I ever said I was knackered they wouldn't begrudge me? So you can't really use that as your excuse. (Only just seen that post)

MagicalHamSandwich · 31/08/2015 07:38

YABU - there are very many reasons apart from having children to be really tired.

I've had insomnia since the age of 13. I'm now 33 and don't think I've ever slept a full eight hours in these 20 years except for when I've been very ill.

Being tired all the time is a miserable way to feel.

TheMotherOfHellbeasts · 31/08/2015 09:15

YANBU about being pissed off about people complaining, I realise that I'm being unreasonable but one of my pet hates is people complaining - either do something about it, or if you can't then work towards accepting it and stop complaining about it. It is absolutely futile to complain about things you can't change, such a waste of time and energy.

About the tiredness, well, you never know what underlying circumstances people have.

hazeyjane · 31/08/2015 11:00

bloody hell mother that is one harsh attitude!

Sometimes it is good for someone to just be able to offload and have a moan, otherwise it just sits inside you like a big ol grumbling pile of bile.

If a friend comes over and wants to just have a great big whinge about whatever, then I make a coffee, get out some cake and listen, rather than say, 'come on now, stiff upper lip, put up or shut up'

WorktoLive · 31/08/2015 11:15

I think people who are used to bad sleep sort of adapt to it whereas if it is an unusual thing then it impacts upon them in a different, maybe more obvious to them way.

Perhaps. I don't sleep well but don't feel tired most of the time, although sometimes I do. However, I resent the implication that is often on here that only parents of young children have the right to moan about the lack of sleep and everyone else must be getting 8 hours of blissful uninterrupted sleep each night .

I don't have any DCs and never sleep through the night. There will always be toilet trips, insomnia and a snoring DP to contend with.

Nettletheelf · 31/08/2015 11:28

I don't disagree with your headline, OP. I get irritated with people who go on about how tired they are too.

Not because I want to be in a tiredness contest but because I think, "well, what do you want me to say in response? 'Oh dear'?"

"I'm tired" or "I'm so tired" spoken by colleagues a propos of nothing is hardly worthy of the Algonquin round table, is it? If you're tired then be tired, that's fine, it's nothing to do with me. Don't moan about it to me, because I can't fix it for you and it's a conversation that isn't going to lead anywhere.

Playnicelyforfiveminutes · 31/08/2015 11:36

mother I feel the same

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