Its fine to bring my children up gluten free

[Ironfistfunkymum]

I've been gf for 6+ years, not alergic or anything but feel so much better for it. People seem generally fine with this.

However now I have children people do seem to judge bringing them up gf. But why would if feed them something that I dont think is very healthy (grains hard to digest) and something that I don't think is very ethical (wheat production is causing more deserts due to its growing conditions).

Aibu to expect people to respect my choice and leave it at that?

I do think unless you are gluten intolerant it's a bit faddy. Why would you artificially restrict your child's diet?

Yes, people should mind their own business.

It's your choice but it seems unnecessary if there's no allergy/intolerance. Agree with usual about eating elsewhere as well.

I agree to a point that this is your decision and nobody else's with the proviso that I would want to be sure that this does not set them up for any digestive problems in the future.

Is there any chance that not having this in their diet when young might leave them unable to process it when older? If not, then as long as the rest of their diet is balanced and healthy then go for it.

I think the problem is when other people need to feed them, eg relatives, parties, at friends houses, school trips, Cubs, Brownies etc, my two come home from the latter having made biscuits, iced cakes etc very frequently, seems a shame for them to miss out or for hosts/organisers to have to go to extra expense/effort when there is no medical need.

There is nothing that says we have to eat wheat.
It's a cheap filler, added to bulk out too many things!
As long as they get a balanced diet, I could think of a lot worse things!

My dd can't eat wheat.

Some days none of us have wheat, other days we modify her meal (GF pasta for her, normal for us...)

There will be veggies/vegans around who pass on their food choices, as do most parents.

I am not fond of curry, so I don't cook it. Does that make me a bad parent?

I also dislike jars of sauce, as they are full of salt/sugar. Bad again?

It's hard to avoid wheat, but if you want to, that is up to you.

When they get to an age of choosing their own food, you should be prepared to listen to them. As long as they give a reason...

YABU. Grains are not hard to digest for 99.9% of the population. And wheat production is not "causing deserts" any more than any other mass-produced food. Your children are going to be faced with having to explain why they are gluten free when they are not intolerant or allergic; I predict they will eat bread as soon as they realise you have hoodwinked them.

You can bring them up GF, but you can't make them choose GF when you arent providing the meal.

Depends how far you want people to respect your choice, IMO.

As it's purely personal choice as opposed to intolerance or allergy would you expect people to go to the lenthgs of preparing GF cake, Fe, or the expanse of GF bread if they make your DCs a sandwich?

Or would you not be fussed if Grandma whips up a quick pasta and pesto when all the GCs are at her house and suddenly starving?

Fair enough to just not cook it or serve it. As parents we dictate the majority of our small children's diets. My children aren't vegi but I suspect they've gone days without meat because I am and I don't cook it that often. But if you insist on this when they're out and about then you're setting them up to be special snowflakes when there's no real reason

It it just at home for ease or all the time?

I don't think people give much thought to what other people eat unless the person with the restrictive diet raises it in conversation or asks everyone to act a certain way because of it. In either of those cases, I think it's fine for people to respond however they feel. See it as an opportunity for evangelisation about the evils of gluten and its production

Personally, DP has lots of allergies and has a very restricted diet. I wouldn't voluntarily choose that for my DC. I'd also take into account the research concerning the higher likelihood of developing an intolerance if you restrict foodstuffs because I would be open to the possibility that when your DCs become adults, they might not want to make the same diet choices as you. However the research on restricting leading to intolerance is patchy so I can see why you've decided to ignore it.

I don't think it's any different from bringing up children veggie tbh.

I wouldn't do it personally but it's your choice (for now, they may rebel in later years!).

Or would you not be fussed if Grandma whips up a quick pasta and pesto when all the GCs are at her house and suddenly starving?

I would expect Grandma to have GF pasta in

If they don't have any allergies I don't see the point of restricting them to be honest, its just another way parents put their own choices on to their children.

When they are old enough they should be able to chose whether they want to continue to follow this fad or not.

I think it would be a bit harsh to stop them eating a burger at mcds with friends or similar because they have been raised gluten free- if its just at home then fine, but if you expect others to get gluten free in for your kids then I'm sorry YABU.

Do talk to a health professional before you start with the children. What you do to yourself is your business, but going gluten free often means you are missing out on some aspects of nutrition, so ensure you know how to make that up with growing children. A lack in their diet will be more profound, and possibly have greater implications, than a lack in yours.

Which aspects of nutrition Jux?

I like that gluten free is a fad at the minute, means its more easily available in big shops. My Dsis is gluten intolerant and when she's with us I do a gluten free meal rather than risk cross contamination. Her gluten intolerance has made me much more aware and I don't eat so much gluten now and do feel better for it. I agree with a pp that it's much the same as bringing up children veggie. You have to be prepared for others not to accept it but in your own home YANBU.

It would be more ethical to bring them up vegetarian!
Tbh I would respect your choice in public but think you were nuts and depriving your kids and a bit faddy in private

Your kids, your choice. The point about kids parties is valid though. Gluten free in the home only might be the way to go?

Couple of years ago we had a kids birthday party where one kid was allegedly gluten and dairy intolerant. Made some gluten free sandwiches, treats etc. Mum insisted on staying to ensure the child stuck to the rules and was caught feeding her DC lovely gluten/dairy packed cheese sandwiches and helping the DC to dip stuff in the chocolate fountain. Mentioned the gluten/dairy thing casually and was told “He knows the consequences, we allow him to make his own decisions.” Both Mum and Dad were famously “odd."

"Going gluten free often means you are missing out on some aspects of nutrition"

Umm, no it doesn't. It means that you are missing out on gluten. Which is a useful foodstuff but totally replaceable.

Sorry OP but as a coeliac I think you are placing a large and unnecessary burden on your dc. Fine in the early years when they are largely fed at home but a right pita whilst out and about. You should also be aware that schools are not obliged to provide a gf diet without a doctor's note stating that there is a medical necessity.

Are you properly gf by the way, or do you just avoid bread/pasta/cous cous etc?

Depends what you mean by 'respect'. YANBU to expect them to comply with your decision. YABU to expect them not to think it's a little loony to make food choices for your children based on how you've reacted to it.

I get a very mild rash from tomatoes. I eat them but only sparingly. My DS is completely fine with them. I didn't pre-emptively restrict his access to tomatoes.

Thanks everyone.

Well the whole reason this has come up is now they spend more time with other people. I do kind of feel guilty saying they are gluten free without anything medical to back it up. They don't feel great the few times they've had pasta though.

Mil is kind of making a big deal of it saying she has to go special shopping for gf pasta or bread. I'm trying to gently inform her that many foods are naturally gf so no special shops should be needed. We don't have gf foods at home often, because we follow it for health and these foods are often highly processed and a mixture of lots of long words that I'd rather not be feeding.

I think it depends what you mean by gluten free. As well as wheat are they also free of oats, barley and fortified cereals (cornflakes, rice krispies etc)? And are you cutting out gluten or replacing it with gf products? If you're not careful you could be cutting out huge proportions of their RDA of fibre. And if you're substituting with gf bread, pasta and the like, well, it's full of sugar and additives. Dh is gluten intolerant, if he eats any gluten even the bit of Worcester sauce I accidentally put in a casserole he gets horrendous stomach cramps, diarrhoea, rashes, mood swings and night sweats but I know he wouldn't wish a truly gluten free diet on anyone. It restricts your social life, eating out or going to friends/relatives for a meal is a nightmare.