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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you think we should make a bigger deal at Christmas?

302 replies

honeyandporridge · 27/08/2015 09:21

The threads already have me wondering.

DH often has to work so I think that's partly why it's just never been a thing. Don't decorate bar putting some cards up. DC1 gets one present. (Other DC was a baby last Christmas so didn't bother; might get her something this year.)

That's it.

I like Christmas but on the whole prefer Easter.

But other families seem to make such a fuss and I suppose I wondered if it was really very strange to have a low key day?

OP posts:
goblinhat · 28/08/2015 20:18

Billions of people the world over manage without Christmas - you do realise that, don't you?

I don't see why that is significant. We don't live "all over the world".

multivac · 28/08/2015 20:18

Surely it's something you opt into, not out of?

You'd think ...

WorldsBiggestGrotbag · 28/08/2015 20:19

I'm sure I could manage without Christmas. I just prefer not to, because it's fun. Like I said, not celebrating it just feels a little bit joyless.

goblinhat · 28/08/2015 20:21

So you are happy telling your kids that christmas is off the cards because you can't be bothered and lots of people don't celebrate in other countries anyway......

multivac · 28/08/2015 20:22

shrugs
I think it could be considered a bit joyless to insist on saving all the magic and fun (and gifts given with love; and nice food; and booze; and seeing family etc.) for exactly the same day that everyone else has it. But there you go, we're all different...

multivac · 28/08/2015 20:23

I can't imagine saying any such thing, goblin. How odd.

goblinhat · 28/08/2015 20:24

But who saves it all for one day? I have lots of celebrations thoughout the year.

And we do live in a society- you see nothing special in a communal celebration?

multivac · 28/08/2015 20:26

I like a communal celebration. Not so keen on an enforced one.

Do you spend Dec 25th with your community?

fuzzpig · 28/08/2015 20:29

Haven't RTFT but I always felt really sad at Christmas because my parents didn't really do it. It just felt really... Meh. I put the tree up myself most years. I was an only child of very apathetic parents though so I would basically be sitting on my own doing nothing. It wasn't about the lack of presents, more the fact that I could see my friends having lots of fun with their families and would wonder why my parents didn't want that for me. But if they'd been the kind of parents who had fun with me generally - as I'm sure you do - then I doubt it would have bothered me so much; I think it was the fact that it was supposed to be the one day of the year that was different. And it wasn't. IYSWIM.

goblinhat · 28/08/2015 20:34

Christmas for those of us who enjoy is about more than the 25th- and yes I do spend it with my community.
My DD dance school puts on a show, I have meals out with friends, we entertain at home, we help at the school christmas fair, our village has a christmas caileigh, we have lunches and nights out with work and gym friends, relatives travel to visit, we have a village carol concert, we go carol singing, we visit relatives,. many people have time off work and have the time to socialise.

multivac- do you see no-one over the festive period?

WorldsBiggestGrotbag · 28/08/2015 20:35

We celebrate all sort of things throughout the year multi. Any excuse for a celebration ????

Sansoora · 28/08/2015 20:50

I've been a parent for over a decade, and it has never occurred to me to consider the world as my children might perceive it.

Well if that really is the case (and I dont believe it is) it explains a lot.

Gingermakesmesick · 28/08/2015 21:31

She was sarcastic Wink

I CBA with Christmas either.

multivac · 28/08/2015 22:03

I enjoy all that stuff too, goblin. What makes you think I don't?

Apart from the dance show - I don't have to suffer those, thank goodness.

multivac · 28/08/2015 22:06

Fuzzpig - that is terribly sad.

goblinhat · 28/08/2015 22:11

Apart from the dance show - I don't have to suffer those, thank goodness.

??

Branleuse · 28/08/2015 22:14

but i dont find it much fun. I find it a pressure. I get massive anxiety over it, and i find it expensive and stressful. Especially the run up to it.

I do it because I have children and theyll be expecting it, since its pushed at school and by their friends so much.

goblinhat · 28/08/2015 22:14

Why would you suffer?

Gingermakesmesick · 28/08/2015 22:18

When I was a child, I was excited about Christmas and I enjoyed it. I grew up, realised it was a nice day for getting presents, then I grew up some more and didn't get any presents, then I grew up even more and bought presents.

So I've no personal axe to grind as it were.

However, millions of people will be lonely, depressed, suicidal and unhappy every Christmas. The longer the 'festive period' is extended for, the more likely it is many people (many of them elderly) will be in dire straits mentally. The period of December and really beyond that is actually tremendously painful for many people and I do get sick of the adjectives thrown around about 'Scrooge; joyless; miserable' for those not estactic about the boost to retail which is what it is, when it's all boiled down.

Think about the people getting into masses of debt for Christmas (oh it's so easy to say 'well they shouldn't!' but as this thread shows, it isn't easy not to conform.)
Think about the bereaved and lonely.
Think about the retail staff (poor sods!)
Think about the doctors and nurses and midwives, firefighters and police, carers and petrol attendants (!) hotel staff and airline staff, who don't think their child's magical Christmas is so important that other stuff ceases to matter.

Christmas can be beautifully magical if you have money, family and a conventional job, if you haven't - well, how very dare you and Your Poor DC.

laundryeverywhere · 28/08/2015 22:24

I think you should do something special at Christmas if you have kids because it is sad for them to know others are doing something special and they arent. But I don't see why you should follow the traditional things if that is not what you like doing. Especially in the OPs case with no extended family to please you can really do things you would like in your family. A favourite meal and some treats, whatever you like best. Doing the fun things you enjoy and not doing any unnecessary chores. Wearing your favourite type of clothes. Exchanging a few gifts is fun for most people and you don't have to go in debt to do it.

goblinhat · 28/08/2015 22:26

ginger you have missed the point.

I celebrate christmas because I can. Because one day I will be dead. Feeling miserable for others shouldn't suck the joy out of our own lives. Compassion needn't be so overwhelming that we can't celebrate.

My elderly mother lives with us- because otherwise she would be alone and lonely.
When my husband died three weeks before christmas I was facing a christmas alone too, but instead spent the day serving food at the local Salvation Army.

Now I choose to indulge my family and celebrate life at christmas time. That doesn't mean that I am cold and heartless, uncaring to others.
I do it because I can, life is precious, and while I can I will kick up my heels.

goblinhat · 28/08/2015 22:30

the boost to retail which is what it is, when it's all boiled down.

That isn't what my christmas is about- I'm sorry if it's yours.

multivac · 28/08/2015 22:39

I don't like dance shows. Sorry, wasn't that clear?

goblinhat · 28/08/2015 22:41

Watching your child dance has no pleasure?

multivac · 28/08/2015 23:15

I like watching my children dance. They like dancing. I don't enjoy dance shows.

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