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AIBU?

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Original poster

Women only train carriages? really????

253 replies

TheoriginalLEM · 26/08/2015 10:40

So, i quite liked Jeremy Corbyn as a runner for opposition leadership. Down to earth, gritty etc...

Then he has the idea of women only train carriages to avoid sexual harrassment? What next? Women not allowed in pubs in case we have our sensitivities hurt hearing the odd F word?

Its a brilliant idea, why waste all our energies on trying to change attitudes, just keep the poor loves in their own safe little carriages. Will they be painted pink with little make up mirrors on the back of the seats?

Don't stop there - we can abolish sexual harrasment in the workplace by having women only offices. Of course certain jobs have a predominantly male workforce so women are going to have to step down from those career choices and stick to something more feminine instead....

Foot. Shot. Self. himself!

OP posts:
goblinhat · 27/08/2015 08:05

What kind of kids do you work with kitty? Are you a teacher?

KittyLane1 · 27/08/2015 08:13

Human kids goblin

I'm HLTA and run two classes independently as well as my other duties.
I used to assess SN but moved sideways

goblinhat · 27/08/2015 08:15

Kitty as a teaching assistant are you the one who is often dealing with the more challenging pupils?

Human kids goblin is this your classroom style too?

BertrandRussell · 27/08/2015 08:48

A lot of teenage boys are still as mysogynist as previous generations, I agree. Why wouldn't they be- their dads are!

MephistophelesApprentice · 27/08/2015 09:18

*they should be careful of talking to strangers
*they should never walk alone in the dark

  • they should dress modestly
  • they should not attract attention in public
  • they should respond politely and smile when anyone tells them "Cheer up mate"
  • they should enjoy being groped they should laugh at jokes which demean their sex

I don't know when you were a young male in school, but these are pretty much the expectations I was brought up with.

*I (and the male students of my class) were warned against this as this could lead to confrontation and violence.
*We were taught, and social/employment pressure has reemphasised, that the ideal man wears a suit - modest, body covering and laden with deferential symbolism (My employer obligates me to wear cuffs and a collar - I like bondage, but not as a work requirement).
*I was taught in school, and had reemphasised later in life via social pressure, that I should avoid eye-contact, loudly addressing others in public and ensure that my presence avoided impacting on others (particularly women) around me.
*Yes, I was taught to be polite when people expressed concern for my wellbeing. I was also taught that one element of our culture responds to honest expressions of male emotion by calling them a "pussy" (I've had this from men and women) and the other laughs at "male tears".
*I was definitely taught via social pressure that I should welcome all sexual contact from women, regardless of my consent.
*Thanks to social pressure and expectations, I will now laugh at your post and pretend all my previous statements were ironic.

Now I shall go nurse my fragile male ego. How amusing.

BertrandRussell · 27/08/2015 09:49

Are you saying that there are no restrictions on women's freedoms that do not also apply to men?

lorelei9 · 27/08/2015 10:00

Kitty - what do you when that happens?

MephistophelesApprentice · 27/08/2015 10:39

BertrandRussell

I don't know. Am I? I can't see it anywhere in what I said.

Oliversmumsarmy · 27/08/2015 10:40

Given JC rides a bike and lives in Islington I doubt that he has any notion of what it is like commuting in from the suburbs. If he did then he would have ignored completely the idea of womens only carriages. During the mornings and evenings it is a complete free for all and the only concern most women and men have is how to physically get on a packed commuter train. Womens only carriages would take up 25% of the available carriages as around here there are only 4 carriage trains.

Dh was physically assaulted by a woman passenger who succeeded in wacking him with her handbag and pushing him out of the open doors so she could get the last remaining foothold on the train before the door closed. Dd was assaulted again by a woman who grabbed her rucksack and pulled her off the train so she could take her place. Dd landed on her backside on the platform.

From my experience I can handle pervy guys, turning the carriages attention on to them is something they don't like. I would like to know why others don't do that and why it is never portrayed as a way to get out of the situation, why we only see a woman looking embarrassed.

It is the women who are the ones who take to physical assault.

slug · 27/08/2015 11:05

From my experience I can handle pervy guys, turning the carriages attention on to them is something they don't like. I would like to know why others don't do that and why it is never portrayed as a way to get out of the situation, why we only see a woman looking embarrassed.

sigh if only it was that simple

BertrandRussell · 27/08/2015 11:11

"Women do this just as much as men do- men are victims too" and "why don't women just stand up for themselves and stop being victims" in successive posts. Is that some sort of record?

maybebabybee · 27/08/2015 11:20

It is the women who are the ones who take to physical assault.

Yes you're right actually oliversmummy, there's no such thing as male-on-female physical abuse. Hmm

KittyLane1 · 27/08/2015 11:21

I challenge the behaviour, I ask them to repeat what they have said, I ask them why they said that (I don't accept "dunno" as an answer) I ask what they wanted my reaction to be, I ask how it made them feel to say that.
I follow company procedures regarding reporting behaviour.
Occasionally I have been known to phone parents and hand the phone to the child and make them tell mum/dad/gran exactly what they said, word for word.

lorelei9 · 27/08/2015 11:24

Kitty, the latter part sounds great.

I was also wondering if they get taken to the Head's office but I suppose that would take up a lot of time as it gets said quite a lot? Just a guess. Sigh.

OneDayWhenIGrowUp · 27/08/2015 11:28

m.huffpost.com/uk/entry/8044470

Here's the "some women" who suggested the policy in the first place

onl15845 · 27/08/2015 12:01

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

leigh74 · 27/08/2015 12:16

No, it shouldn't be necessary and I assume it's optional and not enforced.

However, I have been 'felt up' twice on trains in my late 30s and would definitely opt for this carriage on late night and incredibly busy trains

Gerritsen · 27/08/2015 12:19

.

squishee · 27/08/2015 12:20

To get back to the point a bit -

Lone-women-only compartments exist on French sleeper trains. I've found them to be very good. The compartments are lockable from the inside.

Yes it would be nice not to need such things, but if they are provided I'll use them.

Lottapianos · 27/08/2015 12:21

Kitty, I love your approach to behaviour management - I really mean that. Not so fond of the other posters who implied that you're talking out of your arse because all the teen boys they know are smashing young men. I can imagine that working in a school, your experiences are real and relevant. Do you feel that your assertive approach means you have a reputation as a teacher who takes no shit, or is there still tons of work to be done?

Absolutely adore the idea of a men only carriage. In theory, not in practice. The idea of men having to face the inconvenience that women do just for one day makes me smile. I would love for some brave politician to suggest it with a straight face, just to see the absolute outcry there would be at the mere thought. What about the menz, not all men, how very dare you etc etc.

Grinandbearingit · 27/08/2015 12:45

I think it's a great idea, even though we're in the modern ages, women are still the more vulnerable sex and can be overpowered by most men, and attacks STILL happen, if they'd been eradicated then fair enough, but statistics say they're on the increase . If this enables a nervous woman or someone whose previously been attacked lead a normal life eg. using a train with less to be anxious about, why is it such a bad thing? Maybe only on late night trains as rush hour it would a bit hard to enforce as the trains are packed and more people so attacks less likely to happen.

goblinhat · 27/08/2015 12:54

Lottapianos- kitty isn't a teacher.

lorelei9 · 27/08/2015 16:46

maybe we should bring the "man carriage" to Corbyn's attention - if anyone's brave enough to moot that one, it would be him?

pinkfrocks · 27/08/2015 22:50

Have not read the whole thread but...
women sitting on their own are an easy target for men in gangs and groups.

Just think of a possible scenario- 4 women in a carriage late at night and a group of men enter it...even though they are 'banned'.

The benefit of mixed carriages is that men can defend women from other men, and women tend to have a civilising effect on male behaviour- as proved in co-ed schools.

Oliversmumsarmy · 28/08/2015 10:55

Slug it really is that simple to stop acting like a victim and shout and scream and Eff and Blind back so the aggressor is the one who is embarrassed and they are the ones to get off the train. The example you gave showed a woman who moved away and left it for others to step in. I wonder if she had turned around immediately and screamed in his face would he have still followed her. If you are not going to defend yourself then you become an easy target. The recent advert I saw annoyed me as it portrays women as victims and did nothing to show how women can fight back. If the same thing had happened to a man would a man move down the carriage and leave it for others to defend them? Or would he have turned round and shouted?