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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to send a bill for the gas/elec/water/etc in return?

570 replies

Tinklewinkle · 26/08/2015 10:25

We live in a popular holiday area and had some friends staying with us for a couple of weeks. They went home on Sunday.

They've always been really good friends, and we've always got on really well, their kids are the same age as ours and get on well too. We've been on holiday with them before and it was fine, although this is the first time they've stayed with us for more than a weekend

Anyway, one evening they'd been out and they rang to see if we needed anything from the shop on their way home. I asked them to grab some milk and a loaf of bread.

When they came in I was given the receipt - for about £2.50. I didn't have any cash in the house so apologised and said I'd sort it out the next day. Then, I'll be honest, completely forgot about it. Nothing more was said until they left on Sunday when they reminded them I owed them the £2.50. I had about 70p in cash in the house so apologised and gave them that.

I got a text this morning to remind me that I still owe the remainder and giving their bank details so I could do a bank transfer.

I've transferred the money as I can't be arsed hearing any more about it, but I think they've got a thunderingly massive bloody cheek.

They've pretty much got a free holiday out of us. They've stayed in our house for free, used water, gas, electricity. They ate breakfast here every morning, we fed them about 50% of evening meals, they used the washing machine and tumble drier, they've had tea, coffee, cold drinks, snacks, etc, etc, so I'm somewhat miffed that they've quibbled about £2.50 and feel like sending them a bill for 2 weeks worth of B&B.

We didn't actually invite them, they wanted to come here and asked if they could stay with us. We nearly always have people staying in the summer holidays, we don't mind in the slightest, we enjoy having guests and are happy to look after them, but I now feel like a mug

OP posts:
sleeponeday · 28/08/2015 18:27

Gymbunny that's fine! We live in a holiday area as well and welcome guests. It's the appreciation that counts - we were staying somewhere for a week, as a holiday, not visiting friends (they were friends, but it was our holiday, which is a different situation, I think - we went out most days to do things etc) so we made sure we showed gratitude and didn't leave them out of pocket. Weekend guests, and a small gift and some flowers is more than most do, in my experience!

Jux · 28/08/2015 18:36

You were there for a weekend, Gymbunny. I think you did enough. Two weeks is different.

Gymbunny1204 · 28/08/2015 18:42

Phew! Thanks [cakeWine.

Now if you could make me feel better about my stroppy daughter and snappy son..

TheFormidableMrsC · 28/08/2015 19:00

I have read this thread with Shock that face...

It does, however, remind me of my own houseguests many moons ago. I popped down to Sainsburys to get a few bits. Guest filled my trolley with Tampax, toiletries and various other things and when we got to the till, she just stood there. Didn't separate her stuff out or anything, just expected me to pay for more than £50 worth of goods. I was so embarrassed I just paid it (even though I really couldn't afford it). This was on top of food, drink etc that I had bought. They arrived empty handed, made no contribution whatsoever, didn't offer to pay for a drink at the pub or anything. Took them on a day trip to London, stood there while fares were paid and the same when the bill came for lunch.

The final straw for me was raiding my wardrobe, shoe cupboard and jewellery draw for things I "didn't want anymore" Hmm. When we visited them, they expected us to provide all the alcohol and indeed pay for the takeaway that THEY ordered for dinner.

Never, ever again. Just rude and selfish beyond belief.

londonrach · 28/08/2015 19:06

When we stayed with my best friend (still now) in a very tourist place in the 1980s i remember my parents were very worried what to get my best friends parents. They lent us a car and on the one day we had out as a family (we had the rest of time with them) we spent ages playing on the floor of a ertain electrial store whilst my parents choose a certain toaster. (Parents noticed theirs were broken) Then there was the wrapping in the car in the garage. (Parents even bought tape). One of our best holidays and still talked about years later. What im getting (badly) at is that if you stay with someone you give a gift and im shocked they asked for £2.50.

Beckymedic · 28/08/2015 19:20

Did they give you a thank you gift? Bottle of wine maybe? Treat you to a meal out? Thank you card for all your effort (and expense)? At the very least I think you should point out that them being your guests was costly to you and whilst you did not mind them making issue over £2.50 has left a very bad taste in your mouth. If you just go quiet on them they will be oblivious to how rude they have been. Maybe they will actually give you an apology when they realise the error of their ways!!!

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 28/08/2015 19:27

Is there everyone anyone in your contacts you could "accidentally" send the text to?

Not marking place, honestly

AlfAlf · 28/08/2015 19:53

Having just read the entire thread I'm now on tenterhooks to hear a reply. My guess/hope is the miserly guests are feeling pretty ashamed right about now.

I have a tight friend, he is actually a nice person and good company aside from the tightness.
He's always been single quelle surprise so I don't think he gets the whole sharing-is-caring thing. I hadn't seen him for a few years and we arranged to meet up on a day out with my dh and dcs this summer; I paid for a round of coffee and hot chocolate, then later lunch. DH then bought us all ice creams. A bit later tight friend bought just himself a hot chocolate from a place selling waffles etc Hmm

Before catching our train and saying our goodbyes I bought us all another round of drinks in Cafe Nero, feeling like a tiny bit of a mug. I wouldn't have let him buy us all lunch or anything, but it would have been nice if he'd so much as offered to get the dcs a lolly pop.
I don't think he has a clue how he comes across, poor sod.

rollonthesummer · 28/08/2015 19:53

I can't believe they haven't replied! I would feel compelled to leave a message on their FB wall....

'Hiya, sponging freeloaders,

I text you earlier in the week to say that I have done the bank transfer for the £1.80 you were chasing me for. You haven't replied to me though-is your mobile working ok? I hope you enjoyed the two week holiday at our house. x'

Please let their friends see what pisstakers they are. I hope they are ashamed.

Fingers crossed they won't ask to stay again!

CrohnicallyAspie · 28/08/2015 19:56

summer that's a great idea!

Lauren15 · 28/08/2015 20:04

Do what Summer said.

beautyguru · 28/08/2015 20:34

I am absolutely Shock that anyone, especially a "friend" can be so miserly!! Reminds me of the time my MIL expected a stamp back from me after I "borrowed" one from her! But your case is much much worse!

rollonthesummer · 28/08/2015 20:37

Do you think you are likely to hear from them again? How do you know them? Did you DH work with his? Or were you at uni with her etc?

KittenOfWoe · 28/08/2015 20:42

I can't believe the bloody cheek, I'd be appalled!! I genuinely want you to push the subject, rather selfishly, as I need closure!

RallyGirl · 28/08/2015 20:52

The brass neck of some people is just ????

Original poster
Tinklewinkle · 28/08/2015 21:10

Sorry, been out with the kids all day

No reply to my text.

DH tried to call a couple of times yesterday and got no answer and they haven't called back. The DH is usually reliable at returning calls so it's pretty obvious they're avoiding us.

Chalk it up to experience I guess

OP posts:
DanaBarrett · 28/08/2015 21:59

Sorry babe x

gamerchick · 28/08/2015 22:01

well at least they know the score rather than being blissfully unaware.

They'll probably move onto somebody else to freeload off.

ChanandlerBongsNeighbour · 28/08/2015 22:10

They've obviously realised 'the gig is up' and the gravy train has come to a halt! They're the losers in this situation, in EVERY way!

derxa · 28/08/2015 22:27

They are arseholes - pure and simple. It's hard when you realise this about people you have considered friends.

Patapouf · 28/08/2015 22:47

At the very least they may have realised they acted appealingly!

Patapouf · 28/08/2015 22:47

Oops, appallingly. Poxy autocorrect

WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant · 28/08/2015 22:51

They can't hide forever!

Phone on a withheld number in a couple of days.

Another vote for the FB "checking you got your £1:80, after bumming everything from us for 2 weeks" post.

Clutterbugsmum · 28/08/2015 23:03

They can't hide forever! no they can't but I suspect OP and DH won't hear from them again until they want another free holiday.

Passmethecrisps · 28/08/2015 23:08

Goodness gracious I am speechless.

We go for dinner and take wine and flowers usually. Two weeks stay k can only imagine what we would give!

They have been horribly grasping and are likely either mortified by your guts at calling them out or are simply wiping you from their 'free holiday' list.

Do they have any redeeming qualities?