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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to send a bill for the gas/elec/water/etc in return?

570 replies

Tinklewinkle · 26/08/2015 10:25

We live in a popular holiday area and had some friends staying with us for a couple of weeks. They went home on Sunday.

They've always been really good friends, and we've always got on really well, their kids are the same age as ours and get on well too. We've been on holiday with them before and it was fine, although this is the first time they've stayed with us for more than a weekend

Anyway, one evening they'd been out and they rang to see if we needed anything from the shop on their way home. I asked them to grab some milk and a loaf of bread.

When they came in I was given the receipt - for about £2.50. I didn't have any cash in the house so apologised and said I'd sort it out the next day. Then, I'll be honest, completely forgot about it. Nothing more was said until they left on Sunday when they reminded them I owed them the £2.50. I had about 70p in cash in the house so apologised and gave them that.

I got a text this morning to remind me that I still owe the remainder and giving their bank details so I could do a bank transfer.

I've transferred the money as I can't be arsed hearing any more about it, but I think they've got a thunderingly massive bloody cheek.

They've pretty much got a free holiday out of us. They've stayed in our house for free, used water, gas, electricity. They ate breakfast here every morning, we fed them about 50% of evening meals, they used the washing machine and tumble drier, they've had tea, coffee, cold drinks, snacks, etc, etc, so I'm somewhat miffed that they've quibbled about £2.50 and feel like sending them a bill for 2 weeks worth of B&B.

We didn't actually invite them, they wanted to come here and asked if they could stay with us. We nearly always have people staying in the summer holidays, we don't mind in the slightest, we enjoy having guests and are happy to look after them, but I now feel like a mug

OP posts:
Lweji · 26/08/2015 10:48

Do send the bill.
Alternatively, arrange to spend the same time at their place. And forget your toiletries as well.

Did they eat that bread and drank the milk?

Original poster
Tinklewinkle · 26/08/2015 10:49

It has really pissed me off. They've always been a bit odd about money, but this has made me want nothing more to do with them. They'll definitely not be staying here again.

Even DH, who is normally the most laid back, un-offendable person ever is a bit Shock

There was no box of chocs, or anything. If we stay with people, we always pay for a dinner out, or a takeaway or something, at least once depending on how long we're staying. Buying some milk and bread is just par for the course as far as I'm concerned, especially as I'm likely to eat/drink some of it myself.

Fucking cheek!

OP posts:
suzannefollowmyvan · 26/08/2015 10:51

pleeeaase send a bill
we will help you compile it if you promise to report back :)

Original poster
Tinklewinkle · 26/08/2015 10:54

I desperately want to send a bill, DH is spoiling my fun though.

He wants to do the grown up thing and ignore it/never have them to stay again.

Although, I do think I should point out to them how much their holiday could have cost, and that the £2.50 pales in comparison

OP posts:
PoppyBlossom · 26/08/2015 10:56

I wouldn't send a bill, because iD feel it might make me look as petty. I would genuinely point out to them that they have an appalling attitude, that they've gladly takn from you for two weeks and you have no desire to be have friends such as them.

LovelyFriend · 26/08/2015 10:56

I love a cheeky fucker of a friend thread

Me too :)

Incredible behaviour.

ThomasRichard · 26/08/2015 10:59

That's so mean it's actually very funny for us.

Please do email them explaining that their behaviour was very rude.

TiredButFineODFOJ · 26/08/2015 11:02

A great opportunity for a passive agressive call to ask if everything is ok and are they having money troubles- you noticed they came to stay and didn't contribute to any of the food etc you supplied,then were so concerned you covered the cost of ten bread and milk that you can only conclude they are in serious financial difficulties

NotAWhaleOmeletteInSight · 26/08/2015 11:04

Oh. My. God. Effing cheek.

You should definitely point out their rudeness and then drop them like a stone.

Do you have mutual friends? It might be worth speaking to them before you do anything, get your version in first. Bloody hell!

If you live somewhere nice though, then I think dh, dcs and I might rock up for a few weeks next summer. We're fairly easy to look after. We don't need breakfast in bed or anything, just 3 meals a day, drinks and the use of your facilities.

UterusUterusGhali · 26/08/2015 11:06

Don't feel bad about dropping them. They obviously don't think highly of you.

You should definitely do the Facebook thing; you'll need to check they got the transfer anyway. Put it on both of their wall.

Cacofonix · 26/08/2015 11:07

Wow! I have a family member like this and the thing is my DH and I always want to pull them up on it but never do. And that's the thing. People like this always operate on the fact that normal people are too polite to actually tell them they are unbelievably fucking tightwads and they think others don't notice. And for the good of society OP you need to tell them they are taking the piss. Please.

nocabbageinmyeye · 26/08/2015 11:08

Oh my God Shock Shock

I would have to say something, either an invoice or a message pointing out their absolute nerve. I would do it simply because this would end a friendship for me, it's not a case of "it's not worth it for £2.50", for them it was about £2.50 for you it's about them being cheeky, ungrateful, petty, greedy, mean - who would want people like this in their lives???

I would message "Hi x, hope you are settling back into routine after your break away, it was nice to see you all. I transferred the £2.50 this morning, in the spirit of honesty I have to tell you that I am very cross/hurt and disappointed that you treated me and my family as you have. We opened our home to you for x time, food/light/heat/water, our hospitality all gladly provided to you. I cannot get my head around being chased for €1.80. I am actually shocked. I hope you enjoyed your holiday, as I say it was lovely to see, unfortunately our home will not be open to visits to you in the future"

Grumpyoldblonde · 26/08/2015 11:09

Dear friend, I have now transferred the rest of the £1.80 to your account, so sorry about the delay, hope it didn't leave you too short. Thank you for picking up that loaf and milk, we would have all had to go without breakfast if you hadn't. We hope you enjoyed your stay with us, it is hard work having guests but fun. Unfortunately we are going to have to scale back on visitors for a while, as although we do enjoy it, it does become expensive with all the extra meals, laundry and so on. Maybe we could come to you next time? Don't worry though, as we often have guests we realise the extra expense and will be happy to bring along a few bits (Tea, coffee, milk) so that we don't leave you out of pocket.

Or just never speak to them again, It is hard to believe some people are so unaware of their cheek. I just went to stay with a friend and filled her fridge with goodies and booze, it's what you do surely?

OrangePeels · 26/08/2015 11:09

Shock There has to be something you aren't telling us! Surely? How can anyone ask for $2.50 when they have stayed with you, used your home for a holiday and eaten your food? That is beyond cheeky!

My friend and I regularly ask each other to pick bits up not the way to each others houses. We always offer each other the money but neither of us take it if it less than a few quid! To me it all evens out in the end!

I wouldn't say anything. until they ask to come back again and you tell them they can. At a price of $500 a week and meals extra!

FarFromAnyRoad · 26/08/2015 11:11

What nocabbage said - that is a brilliant e mail and frankly, it needs to be sent. It's precisely because we're all so bloody polite that people like this get away with it and see nothing wrong in their dreadful behaviour. Call them on it. PLEASE!!

nocabbageinmyeye · 26/08/2015 11:12

Actually I think you have to say something, people this cheeky will already be planning their free holiday with you for next year, if you don't say it now you will have to say it in a few months

TriumphGirl · 26/08/2015 11:14

Holy shit!!! I'm speechless!!! What is wrong with these people?!?! Shock

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 26/08/2015 11:14

Yes, send cabbage's email instead and let them no in no uncertain terms that they've shot themselves in the foot.

G'wan, g'wan.

MidniteScribbler · 26/08/2015 11:14

Post on their facebook page:

Free holiday: 2000
Cost of bread and milk: 2.50
Never having to host rude pricks again: Priceless.

WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant · 26/08/2015 11:16

Shame you have already paid, as I would have sent a CHEQUE for £1:80, with the bill for school-holiday-season full board!

It would cost them much more than £1:80 to go and cash it!

I must be the skintest person around, but still managed a nice bottle of wine for my family who hosted us for a holiday.

We also did a lot of work in the garden while we were there to help out.

Dcs also cooked a couple of dinners and always cleared the table.

Separate cheques for instalments would have been even better!

gamerchick · 26/08/2015 11:17

You really can't let it go man, they at least need to be told they aren't staying again.

Rattle off an email outlining their cheek and tell them of course they aren't welcome anymore. You may them get complaints about their holiday as they sound the type but i couldn't let that go.

divafever24 · 26/08/2015 11:18

They stayed for 2 weeks and didn't contribute anything? Shock the very least I would do is pay for a big shop and treat the host to a meal out or take away. How rude!

PrimalLass · 26/08/2015 11:18

They've pretty much got a free holiday out of us. They've stayed in our house for free, used water, gas, electricity. They ate breakfast here every morning, we fed them about 50% of evening meals, they used the washing machine and tumble drier, they've had tea, coffee, cold drinks, snacks, etc, etc, so I'm somewhat miffed that they've quibbled about £2.50 and feel like sending them a bill for 2 weeks worth of B&B.

I would text them this.

iwantgin · 26/08/2015 11:21

Wow! There are no words.

Shock
AuntyMag10 · 26/08/2015 11:23

Wow what a cheek!! Shock
Yes send the shits a bill and let them get the message.