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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to send a bill for the gas/elec/water/etc in return?

570 replies

Tinklewinkle · 26/08/2015 10:25

We live in a popular holiday area and had some friends staying with us for a couple of weeks. They went home on Sunday.

They've always been really good friends, and we've always got on really well, their kids are the same age as ours and get on well too. We've been on holiday with them before and it was fine, although this is the first time they've stayed with us for more than a weekend

Anyway, one evening they'd been out and they rang to see if we needed anything from the shop on their way home. I asked them to grab some milk and a loaf of bread.

When they came in I was given the receipt - for about £2.50. I didn't have any cash in the house so apologised and said I'd sort it out the next day. Then, I'll be honest, completely forgot about it. Nothing more was said until they left on Sunday when they reminded them I owed them the £2.50. I had about 70p in cash in the house so apologised and gave them that.

I got a text this morning to remind me that I still owe the remainder and giving their bank details so I could do a bank transfer.

I've transferred the money as I can't be arsed hearing any more about it, but I think they've got a thunderingly massive bloody cheek.

They've pretty much got a free holiday out of us. They've stayed in our house for free, used water, gas, electricity. They ate breakfast here every morning, we fed them about 50% of evening meals, they used the washing machine and tumble drier, they've had tea, coffee, cold drinks, snacks, etc, etc, so I'm somewhat miffed that they've quibbled about £2.50 and feel like sending them a bill for 2 weeks worth of B&B.

We didn't actually invite them, they wanted to come here and asked if they could stay with us. We nearly always have people staying in the summer holidays, we don't mind in the slightest, we enjoy having guests and are happy to look after them, but I now feel like a mug

OP posts:
Puzzledandpissedoff · 27/08/2015 12:32

the neighbour requested £20 from a 75 year old distraught widow who'd just lost her only companion as 'thats what a taxi would have cost'

You really do have to wonder how people like this live with themselves

OP I know it's not much consolation, but I've no doubt you'll laugh about this one day; in fact it will probably become an item of "family lore". Of course, if when you've told family and friends it happens to get back to them ... well, that would be a terrible shame, wouldn't it?? Grin Wink

coveredinsnot · 27/08/2015 12:51

I've also has the reverse kind of experience from my very well off but weirdly tight mother who, when I was 2 weeks post highly traumatic emergency cesarean, visited and bought bread, milk and (cheap) sausages on the way over, then stood and watched as I counted out the change from my purse to pay her back. Her porsche was parked outside at the time and she put the money into her Paul Smith purse. Aarrrgghhhh

coveredinsnot · 27/08/2015 12:52

At the time my maternity pay was around £600 per month and my husband had no job Confused

coveredinsnot · 27/08/2015 12:53

Why are people so tight?! It's so unnecessary and pointless.

SuperFlyHigh · 27/08/2015 13:01

marking place

ClearBlueWater · 27/08/2015 13:12

Yes, you need to call them on this.

Someone upthread mentioned Aspergers. Hmm.
Well, if they genuinely have social difficulties and do not understand that this is highly unusual social behaviour then you can do them a favour by educating them that they need to adapt their behaviour.

If they are simply rude, greedy, grabby people - they still need calling on it, for the sakes of the rest of us who might encounter them.

I have met 3 people similar to this in my life. They were all NT - just vile entitled horrors, frankly.

I favour the:

'Goodness - is everything okay? do you have some £ troubles? you seemed a bit worried about the bank transfer for £1.80? Speaking of £, out of curiousity I totalled up the cost of hosting you and it came to X amount (see breakdown). I am afraid we cannot afford to extend such largesse again, so I do hope you enjoyed your holiday 'on us'. best wishes, OP.'

Gruntfuttock · 27/08/2015 13:20

coveredinsnot What you said about your mother's behaviour is really shocking. I wouldn't treat a complete stranger like that, let alone my own daughter.

PegsPigs · 27/08/2015 13:46

I visited a friend abroad who insisted on us staying for a week. We bought a large top up shop midweek to replace the food we'd used. Bought alcohol on a trip to a vineyard that we could share when we got back and paid for a meal out on our last night. We also gave them our unused bus tokens as they'd given us loads of lifts. We are still friends and have said we were the most generous guests they've ever had. The couple were fabulous hosts giving us loads of advice, buying our favourite foods, cooking for us, booking us a nice restaurant for a night just for me and DH, telling us how the public transport worked and giving us lifts including to the airport. They were the best hosts we've ever had. If we ever get to go to that country again we know we'd have a place to stay. Why burn your bridges??

Two weeks with nothing in return and a bill to boot. Disgusting.

LongTimeLurking · 27/08/2015 14:14

Who asks for £2.50 really Shock

clam · 27/08/2015 14:37

Who stays with friends (or family, come to that) for TWO WEEKS??? A 2-day weekend would be my limit, as a host or a guest. (we go on holiday with friends, but that's a different thing I think)

TheOneWiththeNicestSmile · 27/08/2015 14:49

A comment on one of the FB photos of him showing off could certainly open a few eyes among their friends.

'So glad you enjoyed the chance to take advantage of 2 free weeks of hospitality at our house, plus the huge benefit of DH's experience & contacts at the X event.
Thanks so much for fetching the bread & milk that time. I hope the bank transfer for it has arrived in your account'

(

Gruntfuttock · 27/08/2015 15:02

An excellent suggestion TheOneWiththeNicestSmile. OP you have a duty to ensure that all mutual friends are aware of what these tight bastards have done, otherwise they may become future victims. Time to rehearse your sad faces for the DM I think. Grin Seriously, though, please make sure your other friends know about it.

Original poster
Tinklewinkle · 27/08/2015 15:11

It is very tempting to post something on their photos. I think it would be better for DH to post it though.

I don't think we have any mutual friends any more, from talking to another friend who was here the beginning of the holidays, they've moved away from our old social circle. We're a bit cut off from it all down here, so we don't all get together very often these days so I'm not sure if there's been a falling out or something. Will have to do some digging

OP posts:
bigbuttons · 27/08/2015 15:16

astonishing behaviour!

TooScaredToPostPostHack · 27/08/2015 15:16

Well done for texting them, I think if DH wants to phone, let him

Lweji · 27/08/2015 15:18

I bet the others got fed up of rollbanking them as well.
You were the last, it seems. They will just move on to new unaware friends.

x2boys · 27/08/2015 15:21

Well if they treat everybody like they have treated you they will be lucky to have any friends!

diddl · 27/08/2015 15:22

Just unbelievable!

How did you not laugh at them at first & then turn them out when you realisd that they were serious?

ENtertainmentAppreciated · 27/08/2015 15:24

I'd agree that they've worn out their welcome with people.

Lesson learned there, when people want to invite themselves to stay, you can (and should) often say No and remember that well known saying
"guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days"

Having said that we have lovely friends who come to stay laden down with all kinds of goodies and the best thing of all is that it really doesn't matter if they do that or not, because they're great company and no work at all to have around. Others haven't been in the same vein and we've been broke and exhausted when they've left. That's petered out now too.

softhedgehog · 27/08/2015 15:34

Damn, I was going to say "houseguests are like fish, they go off after 3 days" but someone beat me to it!

Original poster
Tinklewinkle · 27/08/2015 15:44

I didn't think they were really, properly, expecting me to reimburse them until they actually took my 70p the morning the left

I only said I'd give them the money back out of awkward politeness when they kind of expectantly handed me the receipt. I didn't expect to hear any more about it.

I've kind of reached the " laugh about it now" stage, albeit in disbelief. I can't believe they asked and I can't believe I actually offered them 70p, and they bloody took it!

I'll leave it up to DH what he does about it now. They're not going to reply to my text so fuck 'Emma!

OP posts:
Original poster
Tinklewinkle · 27/08/2015 15:45

Oops, fuck 'em

Poor Emma [grim]

OP posts:
00100001 · 27/08/2015 16:32

I dunno, Emma might like it Grin

annatha · 27/08/2015 18:00

.

Blu · 27/08/2015 18:12

I can up FluffyCloud's offer - if you invite me next year I will bring 2 Loaves, and fishes. And 8 pints of milk.