Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to send a bill for the gas/elec/water/etc in return?

570 replies

Tinklewinkle · 26/08/2015 10:25

We live in a popular holiday area and had some friends staying with us for a couple of weeks. They went home on Sunday.

They've always been really good friends, and we've always got on really well, their kids are the same age as ours and get on well too. We've been on holiday with them before and it was fine, although this is the first time they've stayed with us for more than a weekend

Anyway, one evening they'd been out and they rang to see if we needed anything from the shop on their way home. I asked them to grab some milk and a loaf of bread.

When they came in I was given the receipt - for about £2.50. I didn't have any cash in the house so apologised and said I'd sort it out the next day. Then, I'll be honest, completely forgot about it. Nothing more was said until they left on Sunday when they reminded them I owed them the £2.50. I had about 70p in cash in the house so apologised and gave them that.

I got a text this morning to remind me that I still owe the remainder and giving their bank details so I could do a bank transfer.

I've transferred the money as I can't be arsed hearing any more about it, but I think they've got a thunderingly massive bloody cheek.

They've pretty much got a free holiday out of us. They've stayed in our house for free, used water, gas, electricity. They ate breakfast here every morning, we fed them about 50% of evening meals, they used the washing machine and tumble drier, they've had tea, coffee, cold drinks, snacks, etc, etc, so I'm somewhat miffed that they've quibbled about £2.50 and feel like sending them a bill for 2 weeks worth of B&B.

We didn't actually invite them, they wanted to come here and asked if they could stay with us. We nearly always have people staying in the summer holidays, we don't mind in the slightest, we enjoy having guests and are happy to look after them, but I now feel like a mug

OP posts:
GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 27/08/2015 09:15
Shock

That is all.

charlestonchaplin · 27/08/2015 09:31

I think you've made your point with dignity and I, personally, would now leave it and not press them for a response. Their behaviour was so bad that I don't see that they can explain it away as a momentary lapse or genuinely be sorry at this point in time.

grapejuicerocks · 27/08/2015 09:32

I think I've guessed what the event was and where you live from your last post. That's not a cheap hobby, if I'm right.
Even cheekier if so.

mrsschad why did you keep letting them come back and taking advantage of you? At least the op will now put a stop to it.

x2boys · 27/08/2015 09:33

There is no excuse for that kind of behaviour £2.50 is such a piddling amount of money i would never ask anybody it back friend or not. I was in the Dr,s once and got chatting to a women next to me who was sat with her daughter [there is always a long wait at my doctors] her daughter was thirsty and the lady was going to go to the nearby shop i had two bottles of unopened juice so i gave her one no skin off my nose she tried giving me money for it but it was about 50p so totally refused , she was a complete stranger. so dont know why anybody would ask there friend who had put them up for two weeks for free for £2.50 back three times!

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 27/08/2015 09:34

I would ask your dh to leave it.

You've seen how they view you as friends now, discard them.

WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant · 27/08/2015 09:38

Still no reply?

Ho hum...

Maybe you need to re-send the text (with a read report). It must be a network issue, sending things 3 or 4 times

forago · 27/08/2015 09:46

do you have any mutual friends you could tell? might make you feel better to publicise their, frankly extraordinary, behaviour.

TwistyKnicksFuckOff · 27/08/2015 09:53

I'm not surprised they haven't replied. People like that are users, you're best off never seeing or hearing from them again.

hibbleddible · 27/08/2015 10:04

It seems less and less likely they will reply.

At least you have called them up on their behaviour, and given them a chance to make amends. They had a chance to save the friendship.

It doesn't sound like they were great friends to be honest, more like they saw you as an easy ride.

Rachel0Greep · 27/08/2015 10:04

I'd just leave it. I think you have made your point with dignity. They sound like they have enough neck to contact you next time they want a free holiday. I'd just say I don't think so, here's what it costs...ie a bit more than 2.50 Grin.

eddielizzard · 27/08/2015 10:15

i wouldn't phone. you've made your point. they aren't going to concede anything and the friendship is lost.

Patapouf · 27/08/2015 10:19

I support the idea of giving them a ring if only so you can report back to us lot

no73 · 27/08/2015 10:20

I am staggered sideways, falling down by this! How utterly ungrateful of them

Lweji · 27/08/2015 10:33

I don't think there's any point in ringing, although that's probably the best and more direct approach to get it off his mind.
Another way would be to post on fb under the most popular photo that the other guy is welcome for having enjoyed your home and tagging along your OH. And thanking them for the milk and bread and has the bank transfer for £1.8 gone through?

coveredinsnot · 27/08/2015 11:19

We've had a few tight arsed guests OP. Like you, we live in a popular holiday destination too. The tight guests never return - we're always too busy Wink I've never been brave enough to confront any of them! Last lot arrived with two kids for 3 nights completely empty handed. Went out and bought a cheap bottle of red wine. I'm pregnant so felt a little miffed at this but at least they made a gesture. Your guests sound absolutely unbelievable! I wouldn't bother with them at all tbh.

RhodaBull · 27/08/2015 11:50

Ah, the siren call of free accommodation for tightarses...

When dh and I lived in America we had so many friends...

A long-lost friend called my mother and said she was so sad to have lost touch with me blah de blah and could she have my address. Dm said, of course, but I had in fact moved back to England recently. The "friend" put the phone down!

PreemptiveSalvageEngineer · 27/08/2015 11:50

Oooh, I do love the way Lweji thinks...

Fyaral · 27/08/2015 11:57

Let us know what the DH says!

Original poster
Tinklewinkle · 27/08/2015 11:59

Still no reply, but as others have said, they're not going to now.

I'd like DH to leave it, but he is a bit hurt by it I think. As I said, he's the most un-offendable person ever, so for him to want to call them out on it is unusual

grapejuice it can be expensive, although in this instance DH's work had a couple of jolly days and they had space for 1 more so there wasn't any cost to anyone.

Anyway, I'm done with it now and refuse to give it anymore headspace

Am boggling at all the other piss takers too

OP posts:
MrsSchadenfreude · 27/08/2015 12:02

Grapejuice - I guess it wasn't that much of a problem - they were good company in Paris, we had a big apartment, they could come and go as they pleased. And it was just for weekends. It was the holiday when we saw them for how they really were - putting stuff on the conveyor belt in the supermarket to take home with them, saying "I'll settle up with you later," forgetting their cards when they had offered to buy shopping, never offering to cook or get a takeaway when we had been out all day. I felt like a drudge, doing non-stop cooking, and that they were taking the piss, which is why I said "You can buy dinner on your last night." It was mildly amusing, with the bill sitting on the table and us all ignoring it, and me looking daggers at DH in case he caved and paid it. Grin

BumWad · 27/08/2015 12:03

Your poor DH

ChilliAndMint · 27/08/2015 12:12

If I stay with friends and family I always provide food, wine flowers, I thought everyone did that.

I'd suggest emailing them with a list of nearby hotels/ B&B's ,hotel rentals that they might like to peruse as you'd love to see them again but you can't hot them as you have a bed bug infestation

. I am guessing that you have probably saved the somewhere in the region of about £2000 at least.

SrAssumpta · 27/08/2015 12:13

Shock just Shock

ValancyJane · 27/08/2015 12:22

OP you are far more polite than I would have been in those circumstances!!! How bloody rude of your 'friends'. I hope they have the decency to apologise (I doubt it though!).

I sometimes stay with a close friend down south for a couple of nights and would never dream of turning up empty handed. Will always bring wine and nibbles and pay my share when we to out to eat. We have had a five minute standoff at the tesco self scan before now as I tried to pay half of the food for dinner!

I do know someone who isn't quite as bad, but can be awkward about money. A friend from uni once offered to pick me up from the station at the start of term as he knew I had a lot of cases and drop me back at my house, five min trip. I said thank you very much and was astounded when he wanted £5 (same as a taxi!). He's the same friend who was once driving home from a job interview and was coming past the city I lived in, and rang me to ask if he could come round for dinner. Not meet up for dinner, but come round to mine for dinner. He is a very nice bloke though, and genuinely someone I could ring in tears and he would try to help, so I've let it go. I just make sure I am very specific about anything involving money!!

Icimoi · 27/08/2015 12:29

But what you might do is resend the message to them three times in quick succession, and then do the same later, so they keep getting the messages. You can then follow it up with "Damn phone seems to be on the blink, did you get my message?"

I like Mrs Schadenfreude's thinking. Do it, do it!