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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to send a bill for the gas/elec/water/etc in return?

570 replies

Tinklewinkle · 26/08/2015 10:25

We live in a popular holiday area and had some friends staying with us for a couple of weeks. They went home on Sunday.

They've always been really good friends, and we've always got on really well, their kids are the same age as ours and get on well too. We've been on holiday with them before and it was fine, although this is the first time they've stayed with us for more than a weekend

Anyway, one evening they'd been out and they rang to see if we needed anything from the shop on their way home. I asked them to grab some milk and a loaf of bread.

When they came in I was given the receipt - for about £2.50. I didn't have any cash in the house so apologised and said I'd sort it out the next day. Then, I'll be honest, completely forgot about it. Nothing more was said until they left on Sunday when they reminded them I owed them the £2.50. I had about 70p in cash in the house so apologised and gave them that.

I got a text this morning to remind me that I still owe the remainder and giving their bank details so I could do a bank transfer.

I've transferred the money as I can't be arsed hearing any more about it, but I think they've got a thunderingly massive bloody cheek.

They've pretty much got a free holiday out of us. They've stayed in our house for free, used water, gas, electricity. They ate breakfast here every morning, we fed them about 50% of evening meals, they used the washing machine and tumble drier, they've had tea, coffee, cold drinks, snacks, etc, etc, so I'm somewhat miffed that they've quibbled about £2.50 and feel like sending them a bill for 2 weeks worth of B&B.

We didn't actually invite them, they wanted to come here and asked if they could stay with us. We nearly always have people staying in the summer holidays, we don't mind in the slightest, we enjoy having guests and are happy to look after them, but I now feel like a mug

OP posts:
MummyKnight · 27/08/2015 02:17

Shameless place marking, sorry. I really hope they reply! This has been excellent entertainment (although obviously not for you OP)!

idontknowmyusernameanymore · 27/08/2015 02:49

Place marking! Grin

ChristineDePisan · 27/08/2015 02:51

See, how can we exchange stories about tightness if those pesky hackers keep up their DDOS attacks?

not placemarking, not at all

londonrach · 27/08/2015 06:55

Any response to your text message yet op

PreemptiveSalvageEngineer · 27/08/2015 07:26

Quite, Frankie. Grin (FTR, I was attempting Estuary)

Fiorentinaflo · 27/08/2015 07:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PreemptiveSalvageEngineer · 27/08/2015 07:32

MrsSchadenfreude, no points for guessing how your alleged-friends managed to afford all those home improvements...Shock

I disagree, Florentine. I'm sure OP will hear from them again. About three weeks before the local event next year. Anybody else want to start a pool? Grin

00100001 · 27/08/2015 07:42

ahhh, I need to know if they ever reply!!

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 27/08/2015 07:45

They're not going to reply.

Put them on your shit list Tinkle, I'd stick a loaf of bread on it that they'll be in touch next time they fancy a break at yours.

Busyworkingmum71 · 27/08/2015 07:57

Good god. Drop them.

Please send them an itemised invoice for the holiday. Please.

ginslinger · 27/08/2015 08:01

I am overly invested interested in the reply

Bonnie152 · 27/08/2015 08:01

I can't believe how rude they are! The £2.50 is bad enough but to then not even bother to respond to you is just so rude!

If one of my 'friends' treated me like that they would not be my friend any longer. Totally shocking Shock

How horrible for you that this has gone unresolved (though hopefully they will reply to you soon apologising profusely).

Blu · 27/08/2015 08:11

Anyone who can ask for £1.80 to be transferred under those circumstances cannot quite be operating on the same social planet as the rest of us.

It would have been fun to return an actual loaf and some milk, in a parcel. Or say 'I have transferred the money, but, I hope this is ok, I have deducted 23p per head as I think you had two slices of toast from the loaf, and a cup of tea each? Let me know if you had more toast (I completely forgot to count the slices in all the holiday excitement, silly me) or if you drank your tea black and we can adjust accordingly. '

All in all it sounds grubby and a bit sad. You feel taken for granted (you have been! And you sound lovely), they may well have some sort of perspective (or lack of) that has left them unaware of social niceties, and your text was straightforward and honest.

Sending you a teabag.

ivykaty44 · 27/08/2015 08:16

I would text

I have transfered the money into your account. I must say I feel that after my generous hospitality to you asking to be reimbursed for the bread and milk that we would all be using was somewhat taking the Mikey out of me and will be very reluctant to spend time and money hosting you again. Your stay has left me out of pocket but that it something you really don't seem to have considered.

OhBigHairyBollocks · 27/08/2015 08:18

What a pair of tightwads!!

whatawhoppar · 27/08/2015 08:26

cheeky expectant cunts. that is all

Spadequeen · 27/08/2015 08:27

I can only. Assume that she now realises what an utter twat she's been and is embarrassed. Good for you for saying something, I agree with others, people like. This get away with it because no one ever pulls them up on it.

And if she ever contacts you and asks to stay again you can just say, I don't think that's a good idea do you? With a nice smiley face!

Felyne · 27/08/2015 08:28

It's also that they asked THREE TIMES to be reimbursed, unbelievable.

RhodaBull · 27/08/2015 08:36

People that brass-necked have probably convinced themselves that OP is in the wrong. Ime it's just not worth trying to call tightwads on mean behaviour because they just can't see it. Some people are so mean it's an obsession that they seek to justify in any way possible.

Pil were dreadfully mean. Once they came to a holiday cottage with us; they didn't pay. We paid for all the food, and then when they were out dh asked if they could get some cheese. When they returned, mil asked for 62p. (This was some years ago!) And every year they came for Christmas and never ever brought a thing. Except one year when they came with a box of crackers, with two carefully extracted for their use on New Year's Eve when they got home.

123MothergotafleA · 27/08/2015 08:39

It's so low, isn't it?
Surely they must have some redeeming qualities, or you couldn't be friends.
Ah well, "there's nought a square as folk", and that's a fact!
But they do need to be made aware of their faux pas mind you. Definitely,
FB all the way, as an e mail would be swiftly deleted and forgotten by these insightless numptys.

RhodaBull · 27/08/2015 08:47

Publicly shaming them might feel cathartic, but might make the OP look vindictive and ultimately just as bad as the freeloaders.

Best idea I think is to wait until next year's holiday request and then, as someone upthread suggested, reply that that will be £1500 please.

Bonnie152 · 27/08/2015 08:48

Do you see them much op or just a few times a year?

MrsSchadenfreude · 27/08/2015 08:55

I don't think they'll respond and I don't think you'll hear from them again. I also don't think that they are remotely embarrassed and will be turning this into a way to make it all your fault in their heads.

But what you might do is resend the message to them three times in quick succession, and then do the same later, so they keep getting the messages. You can then follow it up with "Damn phone seems to be on the blink, did you get my message?" Grin

Some work colleagues of mine, who were notorious for being tight, went to stay with some mutual friends who were living in the Caribbean. The colleagues asked before they went out, if there was anything they could take out for the friends, and were asked for some cheese, just a largeish piece of cheddar and a small piece of Stilton. The guests came with cheese, it was put in the fridge, eaten, and no more was said about it. They had a lovely holiday in the Caribbean for two weeks, eating friends out of house and home, drinking all their alcohol (including a very expensive brandy - they shoved the empty bottle to the back of the cupboard). As they were leaving, and thanking their friends, they produced a Tesco receipt for the cheese, and said they didn't want local currency, but US dollars or pounds would be acceptable. My friend said she was so shocked that she just scrabbled around for some dollars and handed it over. They didn't pay for any meals out when they stayed, nor did they take a gift, or leave anything when they left (apart from an empty bottle of Remy XO).

So I don't think this sort of behaviour is exceptional - their are a lot of tight fuckers out there who are happy to take and never give.

Original poster
Tinklewinkle · 27/08/2015 08:59

Morning.

Still nothing, but it's still early yet (grasping at straws)

DH says he's going to call the DH later. For him to still be angry is unheard of, he is virtually un-offendable.

We both feel like mugs to be honest.

My DH took the DH out a couple of times for the day - DH's hobby is related to the big event we had here and was already taking part in it. The DH was desperate to take part too. Now, it was no big deal from our point of view, it didn't cost us anything but it was something the DH wouldn't have otherwise been able to do. There's been a load of photos posted on FB, without so much as mentioning DH or a thanks for the opportunity. DH feels like they used him so they could show off to their other friends back home and he's not happy.

I don't know, they were good friends, but they don't seem to be the people we used to know if you see what I mean.

OP posts:
Fluffycloudland77 · 27/08/2015 09:04

Op, I will come to visit next year. I will bring two loaves and 6pt of milk FOR FREE.