to be UPSET with one of my best friends re gift

[Stars1]

Background: Been good friends (lets call her Alex) since Uni so approx 12 years, every birthday we have always (both of us) exchanged gifts and nice card 20 pound ish. Never been forgotten on either sides.

Alex was 30 this year and I got a gift voucher for treatment I knew she would like a little bit more than the usual amount due to a special birthday. She was working late on the actual day so I dropped it off at her house and her sister took both the birthday card and voucher envelope (both seperate, due to sizes) and said she would give it to her when she got home. She had a girls night out the previous weekend which cost about 50 pounds each (this is relevant).

A few weeks later a group of 8 girls also went on a mini break abroad for 3 days (another 350 pound) to celebrate the special day. I was more than happy to go/pay as I had arranged something similar 2 years earlier.

Fast forward to my birthday last week, I got a card from Alex 1 day late and no gift. I must stress that I am not a person who expects gifts etc, however I am very considerate when buying a gift what the person would really like. I thought it was a bit odd really and a little upset.

Just found out that Alex did not receive my gift this year, only the card and therefore it wasn't passed on from her sister.

AIBU to be UPSET that because she thought I didn't buy her a gift she missed my birthday. Money is not the reason (I know that).

Have you dobbed the sister in? Was it forgetfulness or did the sister pinch the gift?

You can't be upset she didn't get you a gift if she thought you hadn't got her one. Presumably she just thought you weren't doing presents anymore.

^ this^
She may have thought " oh, we're only doing cards now, ok, that's cool" so you just got a card.
However, if this is true I would certainly tell her about the gift you bought her, and gave her sister who, obviously, didn't pass it on!
Under no circumstances do you get arsey with her about this as it appears She is entirely innocent!

what happened to the gift you gave her ?

I would be more concerned with why she didn't get the gift and what happened to it (was it lost, forgotten, used?)

What Hassled said. Did the sister keep the voucher ?

I would be inclined to ask the sister if she had "misplaced" the gift... In front of Alex.

Along with a comment of " oh, that explains why you didn't tell me you had booked it/enjoyed it"

If that fails, report it to the police, on the non-emergency number. It is theft.

Seems more like a misunderstanding. She genuinely believed you didn't get her anything and probably felt exactly how you do right now and thought "bugger her, I won't get her a present next time". Frankly I'd be far more annoyed with the sister for not passing it on, that's really shabby behaviour.

If she got you a card but no gift she maybe didn't want to embarrass you. It can be awkward if you give a present to someone who (you think) hasn't bought you one.

One day late is pretty good by my standards, is count that as remembering my birthday :)

But, big question over what happened to your gift to her? Did her sister lose it, spend it?

And check with the company if your voucher has been redeemed.
It should have a serial number.

She probably assumed you were just doing cards from now on

if she didnt even get the gift, surely you need to be fucking furious with the sister, not upset with your friend

A wave of 21.44 cross posts

I would never presume we weren't doing gifts anymore. You don't give to receive.
If I was the friend, you would still have received your gift. Bit rotten of her.
Are you going to have it out with her sister?

Lol, at 21.44 cross posts. We all seem to be "on message".

Ha, and 21.46 cross post. Took me 2 mins to type mine!

I would be wondering what happened with the gift in this situation!!

The issue here is that something happened to the gift and you need to find out what. I would tell Alex.

How did you find out that she hadn't received it?

Er, think someone needs to be having SERIOUS words with the sister here..

Why not just ask her "Did you get around to having that treatment yet that I got you for your birthday? How was it?" (maybe pretend you're thinking of getting the same one for your mum/sister/friend if you feel you need a reason to ask). Then when she says "What treatment?", you can explain that you have it to her sister to pass on, and go from there.

The sister is 14 and never liked me (no idea why). I had a hunch she wouldn't get it and wish I would of asked at some point did she use it. No serial number on the card as only a small salon.

I would probably ask her, did she enjoy your present to her and see what she will say.
I'd be screaming the house down if my sister would do something like that to me.

So how did you find out Alex didn't get her gift? What are you going to do? This is so scandelous

How did you find out she didnt receive the present?

Does she know now that you gave her a present?