Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To allow someone who lived in our house 60+ years ago to come back here to film a documentary?

162 replies

mumofsnotbags · 22/08/2015 20:38

Story is around a month ago we received a letter addressed to the current owners, it was from a lady who was making a film about her grandad's life and to cut a long story short he had opened up about a terrible time in his life than none of her family knew about.

This terrible time apparently happened in our house so she feels it would be fitting and cathartic for him to come back to the place to put any issues to bed.

Dp's has mixed feelings, what if they are coming to case the joint (believe me if they did they'd leave a donation!) and also they live at least 200 miles away so would seem a bit extreme.

I said yes and have spoken to the lady and vetted her through google/ facebook, all seems genuine, and they are coming week after next, but now i'm wondering what the hell happened in this house and would you want to know, and how it will affect me knowing what has actually happened here, and then on the other hand i'm so bloody nosey I cant not know! what would you do?

OP posts:
mumofsnotbags · 23/08/2015 21:10

waggle I did try searching a few years ago when the electoral roll became public, think I got it back to 1890, there was a lady called annie who lived here, with 3 daughters and her youngest son, what was weird is that the occupation of all 3 daughters was seamstress, (which is what I do). son was a butcher's apprentice.

It also gave me next doors occupations, they both didn't work - same as my neighbours now. and the ones next door but 1 where teachers and guess what... next door but one neighbours are teachers. I used to spook dp out by saying goodnight to annie each night! we don't really know the whle history of what happened during the war so im looking forward to finding out.

OP posts:
SmallLegsOrSmallEggs · 23/08/2015 21:22

I am sure hair was also put into walls as a protective thing. I found some really weird thing in the fireplace in my old house a bit like a corn dolly but with hair round it.

LazyLohan · 23/08/2015 21:28

I'm not sure the skeleton was that spooky though. Probably a bat got in and died.

CarlaJones · 23/08/2015 21:32

mumof, were you able to research details online, or did you have to go to the local library? My house was built in the 1880s, so I'd love to know who has lived here in the past.

WaggleBee · 23/08/2015 21:36

Oh I'd love to live in an old house with history. Maybe one day.

ButtonMoon88 · 23/08/2015 22:11

Wow this is a really interesting and slightly spooky thread, you have definitely hooked me in OP, can't wait to hear how it does on Tuesday, good luck!

MrsLupo · 23/08/2015 22:41

I can't believe you didn't ask what it was that had happened to him when you first spoke to the granddaughter - it would have been my first question. Not sure how comfortable I would be finding out something awful, but I think letting them come, look around and talk about old memories is an interesting and very kind thing to be doing. I'm very curious to hear the end of the story!

Heathcliff27 · 23/08/2015 22:53

Love this. when my grandmother turned 90 she wanted to see all the old places she used to go to when she was young. I drove her all round the local countryside seeing places she remembered.

We stopped at the end of the lane at the farm where she was born. The farmhouse was being renovated at the time and there was a young couple outside. When they saw us I though i'd better explain why we were there in case they thought we were casing their house.

I left Grandma in the car as she wasn't able to walk far and went and spoke to them. They were lovely and came up to the car to speak to her, she could clearly remember growing up there until her mother died when she was only 10yrs old and they had to move.

Almost a year later she passed away and when going through her things we found old photos of the farm so we got copies made and took them round to the young couple.

Looking forward to hearing how it goes on tuesday.

mumofsnotbags · 24/08/2015 07:24

Carlajones I did it online, if you google 1901 census I think its called, it will bring it up online, I had to pay £5 - not sure what you pay now - But from that I was allowed onto the census records for people who had lived in my house, You can also search birth/ death records. I also googled my nans marriage records and managed to track down a copy of her wedding certificate to give to my mum as a present. Both of them had died years ago, so it was a nice gift to give me mum.

As for those asking why I didn't ask what had happened, I don't know, i was a bit excited at someone coming to film in my house, I immediately jumped to the conclusion too that it would be for a huge tv programme, then when I found out it wasn't, I thought oh well its just an old man who used to live here. the grand daughter explained to me that the only location they had been filming was at his house, over a series of weeks, then during these chats something came up that the family hadn't even known about during his time living here, he was last in this city when he was around 9 and now he's 70 so she thought it would be nice for him to visit his childhood place of birth, and once she found out what had happened during his time here she just sent me the letter on the off chance that they could pop in whilst they were already up here. She's even sent me a clip of what they have filmed so far, and some pics of her dad living here

I imagine, like most of you have experienced, that even had I said no, they still would have come to view the house from the outside, and as i'm here anyway Id probably have seen them looking in and ended up inviting them in.

As for the skeleton, our first guess was obviously a rat, but a rat with wings? and the tail was too large to be a bat. we bought dp's friend round to help us once and he was asked to go in the loft while dp passed some wires up to him, he was only up there a minute then jumped down again, the sight of a 6 foot 4 stocky hard as nails man being scared of a dark loft will stay with me forever Grin.

Anyway really need to go an scrub the house today! will be back to update though Smile

OP posts:
SuperFlyHigh · 25/08/2015 12:07

Waggle the car apparently belonged to the uncle (brother of husband) whose hobby was fixing up old cars…

the teenage son was a typical 70s kid no goth or anything and if anything quite boring and pedestrian!

the original family had moved by then and we didn't really keep in touch so no idea what had happened!

mumofsnotbags · 25/08/2015 13:15

Nearly time, spent the day yesterday scrubbing and cleaning and same this morning, I've even ironed my bed covers! starting to get nervous now.

OP posts:
DogWalker75 · 25/08/2015 13:20

Oh do update us later! How long will he be in your house for?

HellKitty · 25/08/2015 13:25

We live near to DPs childhood home where he was happiest. His life went batshit crazy after they moved. And he often reminisces about it if we walk past, he was gutted when they were renovating and his childhood bedroom radiator was in a skip!

Looking forward to your updates.

Chimchar · 25/08/2015 15:45

Ooh. How exciting and scary! Grin

I hope the chap finds a bit of peace from his visit.

DottiestDoris · 25/08/2015 17:40

So....? Fill us in! I'm so intrigued.

FuckOffHacker · 25/08/2015 17:50

Oh I wonder what happened.

mateysmum · 25/08/2015 18:02

Come on OP, we're holding our breath!

mateysmum · 25/08/2015 18:03

I hope OP hasn't been murdered and stuffed up in the attic.....

QuietIsland2 · 25/08/2015 18:13

Hope it went well for everyone and that you are sitting down with wine and a biscuit.

CarlaJones · 25/08/2015 18:16

Thanks for the info mumofsnot. I'll have to do the same for my house.

Lovelybuzzybees · 25/08/2015 18:16

Tell ! Tell ! Tell !

NannyOggsHedgehogs · 25/08/2015 18:22
Shock
mumofsnotbags · 25/08/2015 18:41

Sorry! was doing the tea, well they came and were absolutely lovely, grand daughter is so close to him, lovely to see.

so basically we all sat down and had a cuppa to relax, we invited him in the front room and he was so hesitant he said it feels weird to be allowed in there now as he never was as a child, and then we sat talking about the area and he was asking me if such and such was still here, then after a while we let them get on with filming, they followed him around as he gave a tour and commented in each room funny things that had happened, or who had been in which room, we hid upstairs for this part listening, then we swapped over and hid downstairs whilst they filmed upstairs.

I got the impression from the letter that something bad had happened, and although he didn't tell me directly what it was (not even sure they filmed it as she didn't mention anything), and I didn't really want to ask him directly " so whats the big thing that happened then". I got the impression it was to do with his stepmum.

His dad was married and also his dads brother. His mum died and so did his uncle, so it ended up with his dad marrying the aunt that was left - are you following this.... took me a while to work that out. so basically his aunt (not blood related) became his stepmum, and his cousins became his step siblings who he didn't get on with.

His stepmum didn't really like him or his siblings, and whilst in the house everything was in his step siblings favour. At one point we were in the garden and we were chatting about an outhouse that used to be there, he said that used to be my first port of call when he came home from school.... He told me his stepmum didn't like him using the front door and made him come through the entry to the back gate,and he wasn't allowed to use the toilet inside either, so im guessing whatever else happened was down to the stepmum. He told me most of his older siblings moved away to london rather than stay here with her, so he only had 1 true brother who he shared a room with.

He told me lots of things about the area that had happened - most of the damage that can still be seen today and now we know the reason why. He also told us things about the house that we'd wondered regarding the layout, for example our kitchen sticks out at the back and down 2 steps. he said that used to be the outhouse/ boiler room, so to get to it you used to go out of the house and round the corner to a separate doorway (the arch of the original doorway is still in the brickwork, we always assumed it was an old window that had been bricked up). The bedroom above it was an addition in the 60's/ 70's he thinks.

He did tell us though that when he lived here, the people who they had bought it off were doctors and they used to have a surgery here, so im wondering if that would explain the bottles, he didn't know about any drawings though, so maybe that was the people after him?

So all in all, it was a really nice visit, they were fabulous, lovely and gave us a box of chocolates which i'm about to devour with a cuppa, I've never cleaned this house so much as i have in the past 2 days, so if anythings come out of it my house is now gleaming, rather than the quick run over with a duster, and throw everything in the cupboard it's used to. After here, they went to another house about 15 minutes away where he was born, so Im looking forward to seeing the film when its done, they said they'd send me a copy. They were only here 2 hours i think, but I could have chatted away to him all day!, sorry its not more juicy, but in a way im glad

OP posts:
mumofsnotbags · 25/08/2015 18:43

pressed post too early!

sorry im glad it wasnt anything too bad, I'm glad I did it anyway! He comes up here every few years to watch sporting events and he said he always drives past slowly wondering whether to come and knock, so he promised next time he'd come in for a cuppa!

OP posts:
Lovelybuzzybees · 25/08/2015 19:03

What a lovely ending