To start a pro-Dad thread?

[SarfEasticatedMumma]

I love the father of my daughter, because he is faithful, hardworking, loving and my best friend. He is also a fantastic loving father to our daughter.

I am not and never have been 'a viper'.

U2

My DS's father is a wanker.

But I'm not a viper. Why would that make me a viper? Knowing he's a wanker doesn't make me think all men are wankers.....

Why would that make me a viper? Knowing he's a wanker doesn't make me think all men are wankers.....
Vipers don't. They just don't take crap.

Then I'm fine with being a viper.

I'd rather be a viper than a wanker.

I'd rather be on my knees with tiredness, stressed because DS won't settle in nursery, leaving him in floods of tears (me) every morning, surviving on three hours of sleep a night because he's not sleeping at the moment.....

than the kind of dick who is lying in bed with his girlfriend, blissfully unaware of all of it because it's still a week until his next contact day and he doesn't give a fuck what happens in between "his" days.

My Dad was the best person I ever knew, but he said himself he wouldn't have been that without my Mum, so she's also the best person I ever knew. If there's anything good about me at all I owe it to both of them, and I spend at least a bit of every day really bewildered that my Dad is gone and I can't talk to him any more.

Also, what's a viper?

Isn't this a lovely pat on the head for men who are adults? Ah, they're good, really! We're only teasing when we say that some of you don't behave well. Here's a nice bikkie and let's have no more talk of firebombing. There's mammy's good boy!

The advice I have often seen on MN is that most men are nice and treat their partners and families well, so you don't have to settle for somebody who treats you badly. You don't have to feel trapped in a bad relationship with a bully, there is always a way out, and you are not to blame for somebody treating you badly. I think we need a place that says that and its not about hating men.

It's pretty obvious that this Jeffrey is a bully, though. So of course he hasn't the skills to maintain a relationship and of course other women telling whatever poor soul got involved with him isn't doing something benign or helpful - it's depriving him of something to which he's entitled.

Sending swat teams is pretty violent as well, so basically we're looking at an emotional bully and violent abuser. Of course he objects to women calling his kind out. Of course he blames women who do call his type out for his loss of ownership of children.

He's an inadequate, self pitying loser who has no personal insight so no chance of changing his sorry situation and is lashing out.

laundry I totally agree, I think the line I read once was 'just because you've escaped a level 8 bully doesn't mean you should settle for a level 4 bully. The only acceptable level is 0.'

Good post laundry.

Well, MN is often described as a nest of vipers. But as per the urban dictionary it could mean a number of things some of which probably describe Jeff, but I presume they mean women who are not particularly cuddly or hunny and take no crap here or in real life. (Not anymore anyway) (which may be confused with man haters by some people with certain agendas)
Also see "the LTB brigade", "hysterical posters", "rabid feminists" and so on.

I don't see the need to prove anything, that we're all pretty nice here actually and aren't anti-men. What's the point? I have no interest in the opinions of trolls or journos trying to cause a bit of sensationalism, why would I waste my time trying to show them how lovely we all are?

They're trolls. They'll just love the further furore and attention.

Fwiw, my DH is a great parent, and on the whole I reckon I do an okay job too. I will happily call myself a viper though, as personally I use the term as meaning I refuse to take any shite. I'm pretty good at that too