Hello, you have a problem with your router

[LumelaMme]

I was expecting a call so I picked up the phone. It clicked and whirred, and then,
'Hello, you have a problem with your router.'
'No, I don't.'
'Madam, you have a technical issue with your router.'
'No, I don't.'
'Who told you you do not have a problem with the router?'
'Well, me, because it's working just fine.'
'I am calling about this problem-'
'No, you're not, you're calling to waste my time.'
'No, madam, about your router.'
'You're wasting my time but if you want to sit there and waste your own time too, that's fine by me...'
'Click.'
AIBU to be getting so bloody rude to cold callers?

That's worse than a cold caller - that's a scammer!

I don't think you were rude at all. Quite measured, given the circumstances.

That's a scammer or I am the Pope.

They would have wanted all of your passwords and personal details over the next few minutes and then perhaps emptied your bank account.

Be as rude to them as you want. They are scum.

Definitely scam, I like the response

What kind of question is : "who told you that you don't have a problem with your router?" a fucking weird, almost philosophical one that's what

I have been well trained re passwords etc.

It just drives me nuts: scammers, cold callers. I'm sick of cantering downstairs to pick up the phone to be asked if I want solar panels or double glazing.

Don't answer the phone? Get caller display and only pick up if you know the number?

I sympathise, by the way, especially with the whole scammy nonsense.
Although I completely got the arse with some knobend from BT who phoned up and was all chummy and chatty and going on about internet security and "my children" - how the fuck did he know whether or not I had any? He didn't ask first! So I gave him an earful about never assuming that the woman on the end of the phone had children (can you imagine if it was someone with fertility issues, or who had lost a child, or never had the chance of one? Dear God :( ) and reduced him to a small pile of dust, he apologised profusely and I never heard from them again.

When l had a phone call from India, my son (who is eleven) handled the call.
It was comedy gold. Son 'went through' all the safety checks and told him his actions had caused our laptop to explode.
It was a case of having to be there, l will admit

Oh, next phone will be caller display. I have had it completely.

I did say, 'Ello, eez Igor' the other week, but that turned out to be someone who actually had my name (rather than the previous occupants) so I thought it might matter. But no, it didn't, so after 15 secs I said, 'No, soreee, eez Igor after all.'

And well done, Thumb.

We get scammy phone calls at work now (nhs hospital) asking for details of locum drs. Thankfully we've been warned.

I took such a phone call. They say they're CQC inspectors. I had to remain polite just on the off chance they were a CQC inspector. But I seriously doubt they were and told them I thought they were a scammer. He wanted my phone number and I told him it was the ext he'd rung, but he wanted my mobile. I started laughing and said why on earth would I give him my mobile and why did he want it. His reply...."well you sound nice". I wasn't sure if he was being sarcastic or trying to chat me up.

He reckoned he was going to report me to my boss.

At home we get the pc problem phone calls, virus phone calls, ringing about the accident you've been in phone calls. Chuggers at the doorstep.

We just had a chugger at the door I don't know why I even bother answering the door these days.

Thank you Lumela! I like your Igor trick too.

Gosh - well done to your 11yo too, well played that boy!

Viva - really? at the hospital? that's a worry, isn't it. Are they after locum lists so they can list actual real doctors in their fakey claims, only this time for medical mismanagement rather than accidents, do you think?

I like to keep the IT scammers on the line with as much counter-nonsense as I can think of. The last one got an earful of me panicking about the evils of modern technology and how his call had made me decide that we were going to live off the grid in the wild, away from the evils of screen radiation, and did he know anywhere on the Internet where I could find instructions on how to make my own solar panels.

If I get another one, I plan to have him talk me through the settings on my DS console.

The man who rang me the other day to tell me I'd been in an accident got a bit creepy. I - as usual - told him that no, I'd not been in an accident and he seemed surprised and asked me my name. I laughed and said I didn't think I had to tell him that, so he asked me if I'd like to be his girlfriend . I said no thanks, and he proceeded to describe his body... including his 8 inch penis. I told him he was disgusting and hung up. He actually called back twice and left messages going "hello? Hello?" before giving up.

Awards and to:
Gosh's son
Viva
pointy
Elle
Keep at it, people!

thumb. Not sure why they want the info, it's not just Drs though. Any agency or locum staff details. Apparantly they want names and then bank account details! So even an agency cleaner!! Why they think a front line ward staffer would have bank account details I have no idea.

The bad thing is is that it takes time up. Ten minutes I was on the phone.....normally Id have ended it a lot sooner but that's that little niggle that I better be polite just incase it is a CQC person. I did put the phone down in the end, told them the conversation was going nowhere and I was ending it.

Viva, surely if it was a CQC person then your response should be that you aren't able to give that sort of information out and to contact HR (or whoever). Then you can be polite and short!

Scammers are another breed & it's open season on them in this household, it's good stress relief - they still keep on bloody ringing though

Urgh, that's just weird, Viva
And to them occupying ward phone time!

Yeah I guess maybe I should have told him to contact HR. I told him from the start that I thought he was a scammer and that I didn't have that info and wouldn't tell him anyway. He kept asking me other questions such as my name and how long Id been working there which I told him.

Inspectors may need to know the proportion of staff who were locums/agency staff compared to regular staff. BUT I do not believe there's a chance in hell they'd need or want bank details. Sounds like they want to access bank accounts for some dodgy purpose. No idea why they were daft enough to think you would have that info though.

I would have said "sorry you'll have to make that request I writing to HR we don't release such information over the phone. I'm sorry this is the main ward phone, as I'm unable to assist you with your current request I must go to free up the phone. Thank you for your call"

Meant to say win.win. You don't wasee time with scammed but you're polite and following procedure if it's inspectors (which I'm sure it won't be)

Lumela I am much ruder to cold callers!!

"Hello, this is Microsoft support. Your firewall is compromised".

"That's very interesting. Did you know that human flesh tastes very like pork? I prefer people who eat a lot of fenugreek. Do you eat fenugreek? You sound like you do."

"Hello is anyone there? ?"

"I can't hear anyone...."

I can do that for hours. ....

I'm making notes...