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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not let 14 yo dd to go to an event in London without an adult?

38 replies

Emochild · 17/08/2015 22:39

Because she certainly thinks I am

Her plan is that I escort her and a friend to the venue (excel) and then go off and do the touristy thing before meeting them after the event

Which doesn't sound like an unreasonable thing to do -except we live a long way from London, she has never been to London and therefore has no idea of the scale of the place and the logistics -apparently 'you can just hop on a tube' and get anywhere really quickly having been a frequent visitor to London I know this isn't the case

She does go to our nearest city with her friends but if they get stuck one of the parents can be there in 20 minutes -none of the group have helicopter parents, they get the train or bus there and back but they do have a safety net if they lost their purse, got mugged etc

AIBU and massively over protective -or just sensible?

OP posts:
MillionToOneChances · 17/08/2015 22:43

If you can afford to get there and back, I don't see a big issue with dropping a 14 year-old at a venue and collecting her at the venue afterwards. What's your concern? You talk about her saying it's easy to hop on a tube (it is, though navigation can be more complex), but it doesn't sound like the plan would be for her to travel alone. Are you worried about travelling there yourself?

MillionToOneChances · 17/08/2015 22:45

That said, if I dropped younger teenagers somewhere in London I'd be staying in the general vicinity, not 'doing the touristy thing'.

DoJo · 17/08/2015 22:45

It depends - are you not keen because you don't want to traipse down to London with them and end up hanging around all day, or because you are worried that something will happen to them during the event? Surely if they are only interested in going to the Excel centre then it doesn't matter whether they are able to get around on the tube, so long as it's relatively easy to get there from where you live. But if you think it's the kind of event where the other attendees pose a risk to her, then that's another matter!

BurningBridges · 17/08/2015 22:45

I'd be a bit worried about being able to meet up after the event if there are lots of people, but I am terrible flapper. But as Million says, sounds like you are taking them directly there and meeting them afterwards - so what lone travelling is involved?

Original poster
Emochild · 17/08/2015 22:49

I'm worried because I know one delay on the tube can cause massive issues and I don't know London well enough to be able to navigate around problems

I don't know the area around where excel is so if it takes me an hour to get there to meet them (there is no specified end time) is there somewhere safe for them to wait?

I have done something similar with her at an event in Manchester, which again isn't local, but I know Manchester like the back of my hand and knew I could tell them to wait at a specific coffee shop for me

OP posts:
Original poster
Emochild · 17/08/2015 22:52

It's more me getting stuck on the tube -not them

I'm not happy about spending the time, effort and money of a weekend in London to spend one day of it hanging around by myself -don't mind doing museums and stuff alone but sitting around excel by myself -no thanks

OP posts:
LynetteScavo · 17/08/2015 22:52

I think it would be fine, although I wouldn't go too far from the venue.

Make sure she has a phone, and arrange an exact time and meeting place.

What kind of event is it? 8DoJo* has got me wondering what kind of event a 14yo would want to go to where other attendees pose a risk.

Original poster
Emochild · 17/08/2015 22:53

The event itself would be safe -no issues there, it's the hanging around and meeting up afterwards bit

I shall give it some more thought

OP posts:
Rivercam · 17/08/2015 22:53

Excel isn't in the centre of London. However, I don't see a problem. What is she going too? How long is the event for? Arrange to meet her at a cafe at a certain time after the event, and make sure that her mobile phone is charged etc.

providing you are happy with the event she plans to go to, then there shouldn't be a problem

SanityClause · 17/08/2015 22:55

I'm assuming this is Comic Con?

If so, she doesn't need a map for the area around excel, she just needs to follow all the other nerds cosplayers.

DoJo · 17/08/2015 22:55

Ha ha - I didn't have a specific kind of event in mind, just trying to get to the nub of what the OP was worried about!

BurningBridges · 17/08/2015 22:55

We need someone who knows the area sits back and waits, hands folded

IHaveBrilloHair · 17/08/2015 22:56

Sounds fine to me, can't you hang around the venue?

BurningBridges · 17/08/2015 22:57

The reason I say that is that Excel is fairly isolated, there are restaurants, but as far as I know, no cafes. That's why I say we need someone who knows the area to help Emo - hoiks breasts and waits again

dodobookends · 17/08/2015 22:59

DD is used to travelling alone on the tube in London, and went with a bunch of her friends for a daytime event earlier this year (I sent her with instructions, phone and emergency just-in-case money). They were all 16 and managed fine, although I think some of them had been to the Excel before and knew which tube stop etc.

I'm not sure I'd have let her go if she'd been 14 though.

LynetteScavo · 17/08/2015 22:59

So do you want to go with them to the event, or do you just not want to go to London at all?

SanityClause · 17/08/2015 23:00

What you can do, OP, is go to the O2, and get the cable car, straight there. Lots of fun, and pretty difficult to get lost.

UnsolvedMystery · 17/08/2015 23:01

I don't really see the problem with it. My DS has been going to the ComicCon at Excel for years. He was about 13 I think the first time.
One of his friend's parents travelled with them, then left them to it, collecting them at the end of the day.
If you are dropping them at the venue then collecting them later, they don't need to get the tube anywhere - or are you concerned about getting the tube yourself? I think the tube is very easy to navigate, though I understand why some people find it quite daunting.

Original poster
Emochild · 17/08/2015 23:01

It's not comic con, it's some alternative music thingy

I love my daughter, but it's not something I could hang around at for hours without losing the will to live

There seems to be hundreds of restaurants about a mile away at canary wharf but nowhere obviously in the immediate vicinity

OP posts:
BertrandRussell · 17/08/2015 23:02

Why can't they just wait outside the venue for you?

LynetteScavo · 17/08/2015 23:02

I was presuming it was the Sea Cadets thing. In which case, I would have thought the OP would want to go too, but the DD was asking for some independence.

lotsoffunandgames · 17/08/2015 23:03

Yanbu. It is alot to put yourself out of time and money. Though I think if you have done this before in Manchester then you could probably Google the area and take a book, make sure she doesn't go off somewhere else and have a relax. I don't think you are bring unreasonable but if you don't mind and she appreciates you doing it then it would be a nice thing to do.

LynetteScavo · 17/08/2015 23:04

Sorry x-posted.

Can't you just give them a time to meet, and go shopping in Westfield?

Original poster
Emochild · 17/08/2015 23:05

No problem having a weekend in London in principle -in fact I quite like London and have been thinking about what age to take them (I also have 11 yo dd2) that they will get the most out of it

It's the 'leaving them somewhere in London' bit, that worries me -I would keep dd2 with me

OP posts:
bgottalent · 17/08/2015 23:06

Ive been there several times. There are some cafes on the central concourse inside the excel building. I think Costa is one of them. Ive waited for my dd there. If you google excel im sure the website will have the info

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