To be ashamed of what poverty has reduced me to?

[iAmSiri]

Today I took a big wad of loo roll from a public toilet because I didn't have the money to buy some.

I struggle every week to make ends meet and today, although I fortunately had money to feed dc, it just wouldn't stretch to include toilet paper.

Oh and one trick I learnt was to use saving cards from supermarket. So, for example if I've got and budgeted £30 for shop and manage bargains and it comes to £25 I put the other £5 on the card. Then when I run out of stuff I know I've got money for food/ essentials etc.
Also pounds shops often do really good washing powders etc for a pound! (Altho other toiletries often work out more expensive) same as well as getting the loyalty cards. Co op, tesco etc. Natwest and RBS are doing a cash back regards scheme now for direct debits and contact less payments.
You get 3% back on direct debit on utility bills. My bills alone give me £8 a month cash back.

This is what fucking pisses me off about people like that woman on the other thread whining about her right to take her Birkin bag with her to her skint friend's house.

Here we have someone who can't afford loo paper while that idiot is moaning that her friend didn't appreciate her turning up with an £8k bag.

This country is just dreadful right now.

Please get a referal l even if its to tide you over the holidays

iwantcontrolofcarmusic an amazon wishlist of basic groceries? I got a friend on twitter to do that when Life took a bad turn. It helped immensely.

Dollies that's just out of order as well.

things will get better op.

I've never posted in AIBU before (it generally terrifies me) but your post touched me too OP. Like many others, I've been where you are before and it's shit, no doubt about it.

Going against the grain here, but I don't think you should re-home the kitten. FFS, the OP and her kids deserve a bit of something to make them happy surely? Cat/kitten food doesn't cost much and the PDSA are there for vets bills. Before anyone leaps on me, it doesn't have to be forever. Once the OP is back on her feet she can pay it by by donating, giving her time, whatever.

On a practical note, do you have anything worth selling? Old toys/games of the kids? Local facebook selling groups are good for raising a little cash quite quickly. You can specify collection only on your posts.

I too would love to send you something helpful but I know you won't accept so I'm going to have a think to see if I can come up with any more ideas

I think youareallbonkers is confusing broadband/mobile phone with champagne and caviar. Surely nobody can be that nobby?

I could understand making helpful suggestions about how to potentially reduce the cost of internet access if contracts are due for renewal but there was no useful suggestion let alone a shred of compassion and empathy.

Perhaps the OP doesn't actually NEED loo roll? Or gas? Or electricity?

If theres one thing you can rely on on such threads, its smug, heartless twats. Thankfully they appear to be in the minority.

OP- Dont be ashamed. I wish there was something I could do to help you. How shit. How utterly shit that poverty has forced you to be humiliated and ashamed. Its like something from a fucking Dickens novel.

sorry I haven't read the whole thread so apologies if others have suggested what I am about to.

Sorry to hear things are so tough, but perhaps the following things could help? I haven't been in your position so feel free to tell me to f*ck off if they don't help!

• write down what you need, where you currently purchase from, and consider cheaper brands/stores
• consider selling things on the FB selling pages and/or ebay
• use freecycle to save on toys, furniture, birthdays/xmas and you have more money to spend on other things
• go to www.mysupermarket.co.uk to find cheapest brands/stores - you don't have to buy through mysupermarket but simply take note of what is cheaper
• consider own brand products
• is there anything you can cut out or cut down on? sweets, magazines, cigarettes, alcohol, crisps, newspapers, clothes, makeup?
• visit the freebie sites (www.magicfreebiesuk.co.uk) for free samples
• visit www.moneysavingexpert.com and look at the 'grabbit' and 'discount' boards in particular.

hope this helps you

I can't imagine anyone judging you op....yet it seems I was wrong :(
Some of these comments are truly vile.
I so sometimes think some mners live in their ivory towers and have little or no idea how the poorer element of society lives.
I just got a pt job to help with our finances. I had to apply online...it was the only way to do it. You had to upload your cv - they wouldn't take printed ones.
2 interviews and a written test.
And this was for a job on checkouts at a local supermarket!
Some really good ideas on here op...I am going to use some of them!

What, pointing out the fact that it is disgusting that we have people who can't afford to feed their kids and others who can't see that flaunting their Birkin bags at said same people is insensitive?

Our society is a fucking joke and it pisses me off.

Do you have an amazon wish list you can link to?
I don't have much, but I would be more than happy to buy you some loo roll!!!
X

OP I'm so sorry that you're in this situation but you really shouldn't feel ashamed. You are providing for your kids and as other posters have said the very fact that you're surviving shows that you are made of strong stuff. As for the loo roll, you've paid taxes before and you will again when you are back in work, so fuck it, that's covered. I really hope things look up for you, because no-one deserves to be in that situation, but given that you are then you have to work with what you've got, and there's never, ever any shame in doing so.

Someone up the thread mentioned free samples etc. If you're not already, register here - www.latestfreestuff.co.uk/ they have some good things - shampoo testers etc. All helps to eek the budget out.

Free kitten food sample here: www.latestfreestuff.co.uk/free-pet-food/free-natures-menu-pet-pack/

I work in a service that offers food bank vouchers. The demand is so very high and like me mentioned above it is most often from people who are actually working that have fallen on hard times. Don't feel ashamed. I had a clear out of my DD's clothes today and am actually struggling to know anyone who would like to take them off me as my DB's 'don't do' hand me downs If you happen to be in the South West and have DD under 7....

There's quite a few more here but for adult cats, I can't remember what age kittens can go onto adult food? Then again, saying that, I know a LOT of well respected cat and dog people who think that kitten and puppy food is nothing but yet another way for pet food companies to make more money out of pet owners and feed their puppies and kittens on adult food from day 1 (well, not exactly day 1 obviously but you know what I mean). Soaked in hot water and well mashed up with a fork will turn any cat food into kitten appropriate mush.

www.latestfreestuff.co.uk/free-pet-food/

I know it's not the same OP but I just wanted to share a first thought about your post which was that when I was in the park loo's the other day I remembered we were out of loo roll and remembered to take a bit and put it in my handbag - and I was just pleased that I'd remembered to do so!
So just wanted to say don't feel bad it's something many people would easily do without a second thought
There's just so little to be gained from feeling bad about things
So start with ditching any shame
See how you go from there
Hope things are looking up soon

Oh yes and what everyone else said about phone/internet. When a friend of mine was on JSA recently she was required to apply for 25 jobs a week, and to log onto the job centre's (shitty useless) job board every day - and they checked to see that she had done so, on pain of being sanctioned for 4 weeks. Not sure how that would be possible in a library, with kids in tow, or in a job centre, ditto, especially given that not all job centres have computers for public use - our local one certainly doesn't, and we're in a city. Also not sure how you would know you had an interview/any interest in your CV without a phone or an email account that you could check a couple of times a day. Anyway, OP, I don't mean to hijack your thread as I know that you know all this.

I remember my exP shoplifting some food once when I was pregnant. We had run out of money and had been living by candlelight for days. No hot water, unable to cook anything or keep anything cold. I fainted a few times and felt awful. I used to wash in the disabled loo at work and pinch loo roll. I would pray that it was someone's birthday at work so there would be something to eat. It was fucking awful and I was so scared I daren't say anything to anyone. This was only 1999 and I was working - I'll never be so bold as to forget what it's like to have nothing.

I would be tempted to cancel the pet insurance and pray that nothing bad happens. I don't know if you have to pay council tax when you are on JSA but sometimes you can renegotiate the payment to be spread over 12mth instead of ten, same with water bills. Pasta based meals are good as you can get a massive sack and it won't go off or start sprouting. We freeze cheap bread and defrost as needed, tinned potatoes are ok fried off with an egg. I'm a proper food hoarder as a result of the skint years. If you are anywhere near Bath I would be happy to help x

Well I don't see any reasons for shame but I do see some really big things to be proud of:

Caring mummy
Children fed
No debt
Seeking work
Having a conscience

there are far far worse things than taking a loo roll when you desperately need it and are making sure things at home are decent.

I don't know where you are OP but if you are anywhere near KT17 then pm me because I am beyond desperate for some help with cleaning and ironing.

Just thinking that if you're near RH12 my work has a part time and full time position going and two of my friends are looking for staff.

Please don't feel ashamed, there but for the grace of god (not that I'm religious) go all of us.

Anita, "Cancel the pet insurance and pray nothing bad happens" is very irresponsible advice.