To be ashamed of what poverty has reduced me to?

[iAmSiri]

Today I took a big wad of loo roll from a public toilet because I didn't have the money to buy some.

I struggle every week to make ends meet and today, although I fortunately had money to feed dc, it just wouldn't stretch to include toilet paper.

Bonkers. If the lady has a 2 year phone contract like most people, she will have to pay her bill monthly regardless.
So fuck off stirring you troll.

I am so fuckin cross at that witchy smug sneery fucker
Grrrr I just threw my phone Oh good lord above I have a phone and I'm poor !!!!!!!!!!!!

Hope you managed to contact your local foodbank OP. Please don't feel like there are people more needy than you, I can assure you, you are exactly the kind of client Foodbanks were set up to help.

And in all honesty most Foodbanks are overstocked at the moment due to the recent national Tesco collection.

youareallbonkers Seriously?? Just don't have broadband in 20-frigging-15? GTFO!!

Nothing much more to add apart from please use foodbank if you need to.
You shouldn't feel ashamed, you are doing your best.
I hope things look up for you soon my love.
I don't know what sort of work you are looking for but a pp offered some help a few pages ago, with recruitment.
It might be a good idea to take them up on the offer, at least it was constructive practical help. x

OP - re the job hunting, are your tailoring your responses on each application to match the job description? also if there's a covering letter or a notes section then it's worth asking if you can be given feedback on your application even if not selected for interview.

I hope things begin to look up for you OP. You've reminded me I haven't given to a food bank for a while and I really should. There are people who want to help, so please go to a food bank or Salvation Army or similar so that you don't have to scrape by so much.

The cat was a bad idea. My friend volunteers at a rescue and convinced me to take her. I so wanted to do something nice for dc. They get such a shit deal really, I just wanted to make them happy.

siri please don't justify yourself. There's no need. Fuck the ignorants in this world. Leave them to their narrow-minded thinking.

I remember being a kid and having, what we called, 'communal dinners'! Mammy would be broke, Mary down the road would be broke and several other neighbours too so they'd each have a look at what they had left in the fridge or press. Mammy might have a bag of potatoes, Mary might have a pound of sausages and someone else a couple cans of beans so they'd join forces and resource, cook up everything in the one house and then all us kids would be called in for dinner. We didn't know how close they'd (individually) come to not being able to feed their kids that day. We didn't know how resourceful they'd managed to become by sticking together. We had food in our bellies and smiling mammies. We didn't know at the time that the laughing was amongst a sisterhood of surviving women, lone parents, survivors of DV, laughing at the madness of it all and saying "fuck it, we made it today so let's laugh"!

As an adult I've been where you are and even as a married couple now with 2 incomes, I've found myself wiping my ass with last Christmas' paper napkins! We're in debt up to our eyeballs but we'll be grand as will you. You may not feel it everyday but you are making it! It's hard, no doubt, but you're doing it. You're so much stronger than you think because your reality doesn't allow you the time or headspace to consider how you're coping but take it from me, you're doing a great job xx

Don't ever be ashamed of needing help. Consider yourself resourceful!

There're many people living on the breadline (we call it living on the edge in this house because it makes us sound like rockstars! ) from all walks of life but shame prevents us from knowing who they are. Many people, on the outside, look like they're makin a decent living or surviving quite well even after a recent redundancy but we don't know the panic they feel when they lay their head in the pillow each night.

If we could rid the world of shame and snobbery we'd be doing well!

Chin up girl! Keep on keeping on and pat yourself on the back for doing a stellar job xx

That comment about broadband is truly disgusting. What is wrong with that person? Something very twisted and hideous.

Can you ask your friend at the shelter to re-home the kitten? Cat food, litter, scratching posts, vets bills - seems extravagant when you're on the breadline.

Oh Lordy I'm sorry, I didn't realise it had got contentious already on this thread, that's the last thing you need.

Of course you need the Internet, and a phone. Basic packages maybe but without these essentials you are easily trapped into poverty. Communications and access to the Internet is essential.

By the way, CAP, a leading debt and poverty charity, regard both Internet and phone as essentials. And they don't pull any punches in their budgets.

It's about helping hard working and resourceful people get out of poverty and on a national level it's much more sustainable to support these (normal, smart and productive) people out of unemployment than penalising them, and punishing them for having the affrontery to be between jobs.

Hysterically screaming 'skivver' 'scrounger' and 'scum' is not only pathetic, it's a bad long term strategy for the future of individuals, families and the country.

And it's very easy to crush the fight out of someone by stripping them of humanity when they're already struggling. It's revolting that people want to kick the poor some more, and contribute to the problem rather than actually wanting to help people.

Shutting them all in the workhouse didn't actually help did it? Which is why we shut them down. We are very close to that same ethos again and it's horrifying.

The distance between being ok, and your life collapsing, is a hell of alot closer than most people think. And the smug and 'othering' attitude that dominates is built on ignorance and hysteria.

Sorry, rang over!

Btw, I did mean ignorants as a collective term and not an incorrect spelling of ignorance.

Do you have to take the cat? If you are at the stage of stealing loo roll, you really don't need another mouth to feed - along with vaccinations, flea treatment, cat litter & potential vet bills.

I would tell your 'friend' it is not realistic just now and wait until you are in a less precarious situation - a pet is a major financial commitment.

Wonderful post, forty.

Not to mention what you do with the children while you're applying for jobs at the library or jobcentre. I'm sure they can be kept entertained once or twice, but week after week? Pretty crap for them.

Ps, what kind of jobs are you after?

I'm pretty good at CV and application advice and although I can't do much, I could cast an eye over if you'd like?

youareallbonkers When on JSA you need a phone. You know, for the whole interview/call back thing.

internet- the JSA system is switching over to an Online form that must be filled in. I am not 100% if it has fully switched but that is the standard. It logs the jobs you look at and apply for. I don't like it personally. Its a bit too 'big brother'.
When I signed on 2 years ago the contract I signed in order to get JSA stipulated that not only did I have to look on the JCP site daily but I also had to look in the newspaper daily and cold call for jobs.

Libraries are closing. Many here have closed that means there are fewer computers and even more limited access to them. That also means you don't have access to the newspapers and in rural areas its a trek and a half to the jobcentre and is in fact cheaper to have home based web.

Current deal from virgin is £28 per month without a landline. Even if you take off weekends that's just over £1 a day for web compared to £3+ for return bus tickets. Really begrudge a JSA claimant for doing simple maths and saving money?

Many jobcentre jobs request that you call their number to get information about a job and that is the only way to get the contact details. Again, a phone is needed.

a mobile and internet access are not luxuries when looking for work. They are essential.

My contract is £15 a month with enough minutes in the bundle to cover calling up about jobs. This again works out cheaper than using a payphone.

actually, you know what... I really fucking hate how other people will sit there and say to someone who is broke and on benefits 'how can you afford that, how can you afford this' I had it when I was flat broke and on benefits. Do you really think picking apart their finances is going to reveal something glaringly obvious they didn't think of? That there is some secret pot of cash hidden under a bed.

save that for the politicians who spend your taxes on overpriced bathroom fittings and fucking champagne! Thos are the people you need to question about their spending not someone who Lives off less than minimum wage and is doing their damnedest to put foot on the table.

Pet insurance too. Kittens are expensive.

Op, can you put the feelers out to get some cleaning / decorating / home help work on a self-employed basis? My DM was doing this up until she became too ill to do it, and charged between £8 and £10 an hour. She had several clients and could have had more. It might give you an edge on job applications if you have some work.

Also she trained as a bookkeeper which I don't think cost her anything due to low income. She did some on a self-employed basis and also has some entry level work at an accountancy firm.

siri don't be ashamed. I know how you feel. I even had to take a loo roll from work. See, even those in low paid jobs can be on poverty line.
I'm also glad you've said about bus vs cost of bus to town for library. I was going to post the same.
Unless you've been in this situation I don't think people realise how you know how much every costs in comparison to the nearest pence.

Is there any local support you can have with regards to writing a CV? The format companies want now is very different to how was taught many years ago. I've had to relearn how to write personal statements to get them noticed.

Hi iamSiri I don't normally comment on AIBU but your post touched me. Please don't ever feel ashamed, you sound like you are doing an amazing job in an incredibly tough situation.

My DH & I both unexpectedly lost our jobs last year, and we were both out of work for a while, so I now how tight things can suddenly get.

How old are your DC? And roughly what area do you live in? There are plenty of people, myself included, who I'm sure would genuinely like to help if we can. Maybe by donating old toys, kids clothes, excess toiletries etc.

At food banks you can get loo roll you know - I think you should go and see what they have. You sound like you are in need like so many other people