AIBU to ask if anyone else hates social engagements and wishes everyone would leave them alone?

[messalina]

Just that really. To the outside world, I come across as sociable, entertaining (well, I like to think so) and friendly. Inside, with about ninety per cent of social engagements I am just thinking "When is this going to be over?" or "How can I wriggle out of a return match?". I have a very demanding job, a beautiful DD and a lovely husband I want to spend time with, a hobby I absolutely adore (running on my OWN). There are some social engagements I genuinely look forward to so I am not a complete sociopath but I am getting particularly fed up with certain categories esp mothers of DD's friends who want to befriend me and I have NO TIME! They are lovely, but I would rather be on my OWN or with my FAMILY! I also get bored of socialising after about 2-3 hours. I have had it by then and just want to go home and unwind.

Is it normal to see socialising as a form of duty rather than a form of fun?? Or are you all social butterflies? Most days I do just want everyone to F* off and stop asking me out for dinner/coffee/lunch/walks. Am I a total cow for feeling this way? Everyone is lovely but I crave time alone.

I'm at an age where I now just feel comfortable saying 'no thank you' now if I get an invitation to something I don't want to attend. .

Like others, I have very good 'people skills' and am excellent at small talk but that doesn't mean I enjoy endless, aimless chatting. I love meeting people when there is an actual purpose to getting together ie: organising an event or planning something but I was vaguely involved with a group that meets about once a quarter to go out for a meal and 'catch up' and found it incredibly tedious so I just stopped going.

Weddings are my idea of hell.

Does anyone else avoid the telephone like the Black Death? When our landline handset failed I punched the air. That was three years ago and I still haven't replaced it. The thought of people ringing up "just for a chat" when I am trying to work/follow Mumsnet/ watch MiC sends sociopathic shivers down my spine.

messalina Our landline answer phone is permanently on so I can screen calls but my hackles still go up when it rings.

It's usually just PPI or the MIL, actual friends will text.

I manage to keep friendships going nowadays by text, wheras 20 years ago I'd lose friends as I just couldn't end the call, didn't want to offend I guess, so would sit listening to friends rabbit on and wait for them to say 'must go now' rather than say 'must go now' myself.

Thank god for technology. Text, email and Facebook are brilliant for keeping friendships going without too much stress.

I hate using the phone. Love texting/tweeting. I can matter to the OH but usually we discuss topical things rather than chit chatty stuff. He's coming round the me not bein overly chatty about DS family etc and fully understand I need down time and will make me a cuppa then bugger off to the park.

Though it is worth noting I have similar sensory issues to DS. His OT suspects I have them but have been really good at hiding/managing them. I find noisy places too much but I always time shopping to te quiet early mornings. Always have done. My career is arts based so I'm always alone working.

Never really crossed my mind that it was introvert tbh but it makes sense I've always seen me as me.

So glad I'm not the only one like this. DP is a social butterfly and can't understand why I hate small talk and don't want to be out socialising at every opportunity. I do enjoy the odd evening out but mostly I'd rather enjoy my own company (or his) thanks very much.

People seem surprised to find out I consider myself as an introvert, as I'm a primary school teacher, so when I'm working I'm "on" the whole time.

But I can totally give most social events a miss. I don't mind going out with a close friend to actually do something (theatre, etc), but the thought of standing around at a party making small talk is enough to send me under the doona in total disinterest. As soon as the school holidays hit, DS and I are on a plane and off to our holiday house (and permanent home in a few years) which is almost as remote as you can get whilst still being in some level of civilisation. Sitting on the balcony, glass of wine and book in hand is where I'm happiest. I'm friendly with all of the locals, happy to have a chat down the shops, but for the most part people are just happy to live and let live, which suits me just fine. I don't feel like I have to make excuses there to avoid the horrible small talk events, and can just meet someone for coffee if they are a person I actually want to talk to.

Yes i hate the land line!

responds to EponasWildDaughter with a closed-ended text message

Text messaging was surely invented by an introvert as an aid to the rest of us.

aeroflotgirl" I asked him what he would like to do instead,and he told me that he would much rather spend it at home with us and doing gaming

I'm not too far from 40 and feel the same lol