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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be totally hacked off that we've ended up the bad guys

102 replies

SEmyarse · 16/08/2015 10:10

Ds is almost 19. For the last couple of years he has had a part time job out side school in a cafe. During the summer he works full-time there, earning good money. He no longer wants to come on family holidays or go to his gran's when we are away (understandably).

We have allowed him to stay home alone on 3 occasions. The first 2 times we came back to a bit of a mess and evidence of parties. Nothing too horrific, but disrespectful. On the 3rd occasion we gave him a specific set of rules. No alcohol in the house, if having guests they mustn't sleep in our bed and everything cleared up when we get home. We came home to a load of mess, with our bed clearly slept in and beer bottles on the bedside tables!

He didn't even attempt to conceal or clear up anything and knew he was banged to rights. He just said that he accepted the consequences and would be unable to stay at home alone. He said he'd already arranged with friends to stay there when we were away in the summer.

So now we've just been away for 12 days. He turned down the offer to go to his grans because he wanted to work. He put all his stuff in our shed, with sleeping bags and roll mats if necessary. There's even a tent in there somewhere.

We've come back to find he's been kipping on people's sofas (as arranged), but people are so utterly horrified that we locked him out that they've now offered for him to move in with them since things must be so bad at home! He's earning about £300 a week FFS and CHOSE to stay here (and break the rules in the first place).

He has utterly refused to use a laundrette since it will eat into his beer money, but when he ran out of clothes he just bought a new outfit for £40. He's been caught washing his pants in the work sink, so his workplace also think he's on his arse and have been going him free bits of food. i don't think he's spent a penny on any just eating cold beans out of tins and munching cucumbers! that he was donated. Don't ask about the cucumbers but he exchanged some with a local burger joint in return for free burgers.

He thinks its hysterical, and is proud of himself for not spending a penny. We get on pretty well on the whole and he's not annoyed with us for not letting him stay here, but he found it very funny telling me all the people I ought to avoid that are furious with me. Some of these people knew my intentions but apparently never thought I would go through with it. He's nearly 19! He can look after himself in a situation he chose for himself!

OP posts:
firesafety · 16/08/2015 15:35

This is the sort of thing one of my lot would do in similar cirumstances (the sofa-surging and finding it funny). Pita but resourceful, he's also a bit of a charmer, which can be irritating.

I also banished my youngest from home earlier this year for disrespecting my views on an earlier occasion (he stayed a couple of nights at his GFs - and her mum knew why, gently called him a prat and allowed him to stay).

Other people? :meh: you know the truth.

firesafety · 16/08/2015 15:36

** he was only banished whilst we were away! Not for good.

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