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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH purposely spiting me!

88 replies

perrita · 15/08/2015 21:20

Just had a massive argument with DH over something so little and stupid and pointless and I need some perspective, fully expecting to be told I'm BU, that's fine but here we go.

Last Saturday bought a pack of two Weight Watchers desserts. I had one on Sunday and left the other one for him however last night he was having biscuits with a cup of tea and I asked if he minded if I ate the other dessert. He said no.

Tonight he said "oh I might have my WW dessert" I said he couldn't as I ate it last night. Cue him kicking off. I apologised but said I asked if I could have it (as usually with stuff that comes in twos or what have you we understand we have one each) but he said I didn't make it clear that it was his one I was asking to have. I went away into the living room and he followed after a bit with some ice cream and I thought nothing of it.

After he'd eaten it he announced to me that he had just had on top of his ice cream this little pack from a Graze box that I'd saved to share with him because it had a Biscoff dip and we both love that stuff.

I told him that it was a really spiteful and nasty thing for him to do, I could have eaten that pack myself but didn't if saved it for us both to try, I asked his permission to eat the WW thing but more than anything I am upset about him being stood in the kitchen scheming on how to "get revenge" on me. I would never do something just to spite anyone, not even to someone I didn't like let alone my husband!

Writing this I'm kind of laughing a bit as I realise how ridiculous it sounds but it has actually really upset me. He has tried to make it up to me by denying he did it on purpose and not apologising.

What do you think, AIBU?

OP posts:
Original poster
perrita · 15/08/2015 21:20

Just to add as well, he's not on a diet or doing Weight Watchers but I am.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 15/08/2015 21:23

Oh gosh I think you're both BU

Sorry but this is the sort of thing my kids argue about.

MitzyLeFrouf · 15/08/2015 21:23

Pudding wars!

I don't think him snaffling some topping for his ice-cream can be described as 'scheming for revenge' Grin. Maybe a bit childish but not exactly machiavellian.

Anyway YABVU for eating WW puds, they're awful!

Murfles · 15/08/2015 21:23

Confused. You both need to grow up.

londonrach · 15/08/2015 21:24

Ok...

Yarp · 15/08/2015 21:26

I wonder if there's more to this than this event.

I also don't understand why you are bothering with WeighWatchers deserts when you could just not eat biscuits and ice cream

TRexingInAsda · 15/08/2015 21:27

He was being a spiteful dick. Maybe each keep a separate shelf in the fridge for stuff you especially want to eat in future to avoid this happening again assuming he can't just stop being a twat.

pictish · 15/08/2015 21:31

Yeah it seems so trivial doesn't it? But it's the thinking behind what he did that bothers you, I know that. He had to get even. He thinks that one bad turn (even an unintentional one) automatically deserves another. His stance was to escalate the situation to 'win' and make you suffer a bit, rather than be a good sport and let it go.

Is he often petty and mean like that?

turningvioletviolet · 15/08/2015 21:32

Gosh. DH and I can have petty little 'discussions' at times but yours takes it to a whole new level of inanity. What happens when you have something really important to argue about like who gets to choose what to watch on TV

Starbrite00 · 15/08/2015 21:34

Are you being serious? Wtf go to the shop and but more Hmm

Starbrite00 · 15/08/2015 21:34

Buy...( I'm going to have people thinking I cant spell again)

FarFromAnyRoad · 15/08/2015 21:35

It does sound a bit childish but more than that - your DH sounds like a dick end. Sorry if this is news to you - but he does. Does he do this kind of thing often?

pictish · 15/08/2015 21:37

Look folks, please don't go down the road of sneering at the OP. Something has dinged her bell here, and ffs is it not often the small things that tell us everything we need to know?

I get where the OP is coming from on this one. He showed himself to be vengeful, goading and unpleasant to his wife - it doesn't matter that it was over a fucking pudding. He's a twat.

Yarp · 15/08/2015 21:38

I agree pictish

Posters don't often come on here and post about one trivial-seeming event. There's almost always an attitude, and undercurrent behind it

pictish · 15/08/2015 21:38

Always.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 15/08/2015 21:40

Ummmmmm... Ok.

MitzyLeFrouf · 15/08/2015 21:42

But I can't tell from her post that he is actually a twat. I'd need more detail before agreeing to that.

apricotdanish · 15/08/2015 21:42

YANBU. I'd be really wound up too, can't bear petty, spiteful behaviour.

BabyGanoush · 15/08/2015 21:42

you both have food issues?

and he sounds a bit mean and petty.

I think pettiness is the most -unsexy trait in a human (second is stinginess), so it may be a small thing, for me it would be a big thing.

I would never live with a petty person!

SquinkiesRule · 15/08/2015 21:46

He sounds like he's about 10.
Stop doing the two pack means one each and trying to share food equally, it doesn't work.
Some days I eat more than others, some days Dh eats everything in sight.

SaucyJack · 15/08/2015 21:52

Yes, he was spiteful.

But is he naturally just an arsehole, or is there a long history of you eating his "share" of the goodies?

LynetteScavo · 15/08/2015 21:53

You really waned some of that graze pot, didn't you.

Original poster
perrita · 15/08/2015 21:53

Thanks Pictish. It's not about the puddings themselves, not at all. It's about him having to get revenge on me, his wife, even though I dont feel like I really did anything wrong to start with. I just feel like it's awful.

There is more to this really I suppose, I posted in AIBU a week or so ago about him as well.

OP posts:
Original poster
perrita · 15/08/2015 21:55

Oh yarp what it must be like to be you. If it was that easy I wouldn't need to go to Weight Watcher in the first place, would I?

OP posts:
Original poster
perrita · 15/08/2015 21:55

Sorry for all typos I'm on my phone

OP posts:
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