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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

No screen use during car journeys, am I being old fashioned?

325 replies

midnightvelvetPart2 · 15/08/2015 09:35

I do not let our DC's (9 & 6) play on screens during car journeys but I'm wondering whether I'm being a little outdated? :) they have regular screen time at home & if we are stationary in traffic jams then they can use them, but if we are just driving along then they are not allowed. I'm talking tablets/DS/handheld gaming things.

I used to get carsick to the point of vomiting if I ever tried to read a book in a car, so I wasn't allowed & this may be influencing it. DS1 used to get carsick but he hasn't been in 4 years.

I'm doubting myself now as we drove back from holiday yesterday & it was a journey of 4 hours. My dad phoned, the kids complained about the journey & that they were bored & he said well they can play on their tablets etc but when I said they weren't allowed to he was a bit taken aback. We play I Spy & Sausage etc & have music & audiobooks on so its not a silent car, DS2 usually sleeps at some point.

What does everyone do?

OP posts:
SirChenjin · 15/08/2015 23:22

Constant distraction?

If you look back at my posts you will notice that I haven't said that at any point. However, mindfulness (the latest craze on the block) is really not going to do much for children (or adults) on long car journeys. Passing the time with all manner of activities is just fine.

SillyStuffBiting · 15/08/2015 23:25

Latest craze you say?

Back to google for you sir!

NickiFury · 15/08/2015 23:28

My only concerns about screens on journeys is that they will run out of charge. Now the thought of that horrifies me.

SirChenjin · 15/08/2015 23:30

At what point in the 20th or 21st century was mindfulness talked about as widely as it is now Silly? No point, that's when. It is the latest craze (and one in which I have dabbled myself) but no point in pretending it's anything to the contrary.

Solina · 15/08/2015 23:30

In my opinion YABU. When I was a kid we had a dvd player thing in the car to keep us entertained during long drives through the Europe (we went around with a caravan). I would have been extreamly bored without it. And even now whenever me and dp go for a long journey I will take a book to read or something to play. I find looking out the window and thinking relaxing too but not for longer than 2h or so.

If the journey is more than 1h they should be allowed to use a tablet/ watch a dvd.

SnapesCapes · 15/08/2015 23:32

Completely irrelevant to the topic but I've been sat here thinking about long car journeys as a child. One year just after Evita came out at the cinema (which I loved because I was a bit odd) I got the soundtrack for Christmas on tape and listened to it non-stop. My Mum drove us somewhere to visit someone terribly old and it took hours, so I took Evita on my walkman (because despite the oddness, I was incredibly cool) and serenaded my parents with the ENTIRE soundtrack for the journey.

My Mum took away Evita when we got home that night. No wonder parents allow screen time on journeys; refusing means you're probably going to get serenaded like that. The DCs tried to make me listen to the Frozen soundtrack the other day in the car and my bottom has only just unclenched after hearing them screeching "You be the man, I'll be the woman" to Love Is An Open Door four times til they got it word-perfect.

starlight2007 · 15/08/2015 23:43

My only concerns about screens on journeys is that they will run out of charge. Now the thought of that horrifies me.

I am with you Nick

nooka · 15/08/2015 23:45

Why would you want to be present and in the moment on a long car drive? Unless you are driving that is. I can see why you might want to zone out and daydream, but the descriptions of mindfulness make me think it is quite the opposite.

I'm very happy to be meditative in a beautiful place when I am relaxed and clam and there are lovely things to see and sounds to hear and I encourage my children to do the same.

In a car I suspect I'd get very antsy if I focused too much on the sounds of my traveling companions and the car, being completely aware of your probably quite uncomfortable body in a fairly confined space also sounds far from ideal to me.

SirChenjin · 15/08/2015 23:51

Me too Nick - an in-car charger has been one of our best purchases (for the times when we're not all practising mindfulness, natch).

BertieBotts · 15/08/2015 23:53

I am ribbing a bit. I think mindfulness is probably great but aren't children pretty focused on the present already? Case in point: "I'm bored" (emotion) "My seat belt is rubbing my shoulder" (touch) "Somebody farted" (smell) "He's breathing too loudly" (sound) "I saw a sheep. I saw a cow. I saw a dog. I saw a car." (sight) "I think I'm going to be sick" (taste).

CasualJersey · 15/08/2015 23:55

Yabu

I am hugely travel sick and so is my DD
Watching a DVD player and therefore keeping her facing forwards and her head up means she isn't sick. It's works a treat!
Tbh Imm also not a huge limiter of screen time, especially in circumstances such as these

Hellionandfriends · 15/08/2015 23:58

We don't have screens either. Even in tragic jams though because we only own a shared wii and a shared laptop. We also play games and listen to audio stories or the radio. It suits my family and means we chat lots and have a laugh.

wiltingfast · 16/08/2015 00:01

Omg I had a ton of terribly long boring car journeys as a kid and I was SO BORED! All the way to Switzerland and Italy with thomas the fucking tank engine being read on the car radio to keep my youngest brother entertained.

I couldn't read due to car sickness.

Looking back I don't think the boredom was particularly beneficial in any immediately obvious way. I was just bored. Annoyed my siblings, and was always v grateful to arrive Grin

Plus I find I can't hear them v well in the car so I find trying to talk or play games quite frustrating.

Plus I am still prone to carsickness and turning my head too much can trigger it :(

As a result I throw piles of stuff in the back to keep my dc entertained, books, toys, colouring things, Lego and a v tech tablet.

So yeah I guess I think you might be a bit ott OP Grin

Fwiw despite all the stuff they have they still seem to get bored and fall asleep for a bit...Hmm

IfNotNowThenWhen · 16/08/2015 00:06

It is fucked if a 10 year old can't sit on a bus for 20 minutes without staring at a phone. It's fucked if an adult can't do that also. By people watching I mean there is stuff out there in the real world going on outside of your little bubble.
Maybe mindfulness is the wrong description? Awareness of the world around you is maybe what I mean.
Listen, I know kids of 9 who are playing Halo everyday but can't tie their laces or cross a fucking road. Something's up there.
I am not saying dont hand over the tablet on your drive to Cornwall, far from it, but there are positives to be had from not being plugged in all the time.

StitchingMoss · 16/08/2015 00:08

OP, I'm with you. We have two boys (6 & 7) but they don't own any "screens" so no screen time even on 8 hr journey to Scotland. Amazingly we all survived intact! Grin

Do what suits your kids.

imwithspud · 16/08/2015 00:09

I do think YABU tbh. I remember long car journey's being so utterly boring as a child. Even now I don't like them at all, the thought of being stuck in a small vessel for more than 2 hours fills me with dread, especially if we're on the way back from somewhere and all I want to do is get home asap. I used to take a Gameboy with me in the car as a child. I remember one occasion when I was a teen, I took my laptop with me on a long car journey and played The Sims until the battery went flat Grin

I don't really see the harm. My DD is nearly 3 and she will be happy to sit and look out the window or chat to us for a while but it's inevitable that it will get to the point where she will start getting a bit bored, usually after she's had a nap and a snack. I'd have no problem giving her a tablet or similar to keep her entertained for a while. If it keeps her happy in that situation, then I'm happy.

MagicMojito · 16/08/2015 00:28

Not rtft but, I used the phrase "screen time" in an actual RL conversation the other day. Felt like a right twat Grin

nooka · 16/08/2015 00:43

My ds liked to play Halo and finds shoe laces very tricky. He has fine motor skills issues. Nothing to do with his enjoyment of Halo, which is a high quality multiplayer game allowing for lots of creativity and teamwork.

We avoid shoelaces. No big deal.

GnomeDePlume · 16/08/2015 07:56

I really don't think that people watching on a bus is a good idea with small children: all those inappropriate comments & asked at full volume!

Flashbangandgone · 16/08/2015 08:50

It is fucked if a 10 year old can't sit on a bus for 20 minutes without staring at a phone.

If they can't then maybe, but I don't see anything wrong in wanting and asking for a distraction if one is available. If I'm on the tube for instance I might sit with my own thoughts for a few minutes, I might want to be mindful for a while, but then I might not and notice a metro next to me and have a read, just because I want to... I don't get this kind of asceticism that requires mindfulness and forbids doing something we actually might like on a journey unless it is super-long!

NarrativeArc · 16/08/2015 08:59

Someone asked up thread why I thought the idea of boredom as am aid to creativity was nonsense.

That's simply my experience as someone who makes my living from creativity and someone who knows lots of others too.

Creativity tends to come from immersing oneself in creativity. Most writers I know are obsessed with movies, box sets, pod casts, the internet etc.

That's not to say that parents should feel the need to use screens in the car. They should do whatever they feel is right of course.

But just not justify boredom as an aid to creativity.

WanderingTrolley1 · 16/08/2015 09:05

We take screens with us on journeys, just in case.

Lightbulbon · 16/08/2015 09:09

I took a friend and her 2 DC c.5yrs on a day trip a few years ago. The journey was only an hour, along the coast, a route they hadn't been on before. I thought it was a little sad that she had them hooked up to their screens before we left. Could they really not have looked out at the view or interacted with us for an hour on a day out?

I didn't invite them again.

NickiFury · 16/08/2015 09:42

Well that will certainly teach them
light.

BrokenBananaTantrum · 16/08/2015 09:46

I think that it is the perfect time for screens because they can't really be doing anything else. Ok looking out the window etc. But there is no opportunity to get up and do something physical so why not use it to go on games etc. ?

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