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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

No screen use during car journeys, am I being old fashioned?

325 replies

midnightvelvetPart2 · 15/08/2015 09:35

I do not let our DC's (9 & 6) play on screens during car journeys but I'm wondering whether I'm being a little outdated? :) they have regular screen time at home & if we are stationary in traffic jams then they can use them, but if we are just driving along then they are not allowed. I'm talking tablets/DS/handheld gaming things.

I used to get carsick to the point of vomiting if I ever tried to read a book in a car, so I wasn't allowed & this may be influencing it. DS1 used to get carsick but he hasn't been in 4 years.

I'm doubting myself now as we drove back from holiday yesterday & it was a journey of 4 hours. My dad phoned, the kids complained about the journey & that they were bored & he said well they can play on their tablets etc but when I said they weren't allowed to he was a bit taken aback. We play I Spy & Sausage etc & have music & audiobooks on so its not a silent car, DS2 usually sleeps at some point.

What does everyone do?

OP posts:
StrumpersPlunkett · 17/08/2015 08:26

Generally we are a no to tablets/electronic games in the car.
However long trips get limited use
I have 2 boys who are easily car sick so reading is also restricted on time.

littlejohnnydory · 17/08/2015 08:31

sirchenjin my children wouldn't be interested in anything else if a tablet was available. Especially my ds, who would stare at it from dawn til dusk if we didn't restrict it.

Do those of you using tablets in the car have one each? Or are your children more patient and less scrappy than mine?!

MumSnotBU · 17/08/2015 08:37

We don't have screens in the car but they do have audiobooks and music through Itouch. I think it's good to look at the scenery and chat. They are older now 17, 15, 13, 11 but no one has suggested changing this rule which originated by default because do and I hadn't read in the car as children or adults.

We also don't have them in restaurants, at the table or anywhere else where it would have been considered bad manners in the past to read a book. It's not really a rule as such-just what we do.

bruffin · 17/08/2015 08:37

littlehohnnydory
what do you think they actually do on a tablet?

WankerDeAsalWipe · 17/08/2015 08:44

DSs are now teens but did suffer car sickness so the activities in the car were always designed around that. No reading, but screens are allowed on the motorway as this seems fine for them. No screens on windy roads or short journeys (around 30 minutes) where they should be able to be occupied without screens though they are not banned as such.

SirChenjin · 17/08/2015 09:17

Agree bruffin. Our 3 DCs have 2 tablets and 2 phones (the younger one borrows mine) - I'm curious, what do you think they actually do with the screens that are so different from paper based games, books and music etc? Confused

Hellionandfriends · 17/08/2015 09:27

Mine tend to look out of the window and chat or listen to audios and play games like I spy. Sometimes they help me map read or send texts on my behalf or have a crazy sing along. I really like it that way and journeys are very social and nice. I have done journeys with friends who play film after film and they are plugged in and very insular during trips.

SirChenjin · 17/08/2015 09:33

Have you never done journeys with friends who use a mix of activities?

VolumniaDedlock · 17/08/2015 09:36

we don't have screens in the car
my DC do normally have loads of screen time so I'm not a puritan on this one

I have a Nexus tablet, and DH has and ipod touch. The key thing is that they're ours. I'm happy for the DC to use them in a supervised setting, but if we're strapped in the front and they're strapped in the back I can't intervene if they start twatting about with them or fighting over who gets which device.

we get new comics before a long journey, take it in turns to choose the music/audiobooks, play ispy/car snooker/i went to the shops, or just chat.

NarrativeArc · 17/08/2015 09:38

That's interesting voluminal I am a bit puritanical about screens at home ( and my teen DC are a bit too and place strict time limits on themselves ).

But journeys? I just don't care. Get there safely and as comfortably as possible is my motto.

Minicaters · 17/08/2015 14:47

Sir Chenjin do you think all children react exactly like yours though? I have one child who can take or leave tv and ipad, and another who's like an addict. It's really, really not that we haven't given him "enough" to let him self regulate. Nursery and school both said he is "one of those boys" who just will never turn it off without a massive strop so they both chucked him off tablets/computers periodically too.

I don't think the ipad or tv are evil. My DC have plenty of both. I can see this self regulation thing might work for some children (like DD) but why can't you accept that some children might need other strategies? We carve out certain times that are screen free and that means we can be liberal the rest of the time. DS is far happier with set boundaries, it means he will happily do other things when ipad is not available.

When it stops working we will change it, but until then I really don't think my DC are missing out by reading in the car.

BertieBotts · 17/08/2015 14:58

Yep, DS doesn't self regulate either. If you let him he would look at screens constantly for weeks on end.

But I am laid back about it. It's limited but I don't set ridiculous limits like 20 minutes per day. That's not enough time to even do anything and I would find it frustrating so IMO I can't expect DS to be happy with it.

NewLife4Me · 17/08/2015 15:01

Mine didn't have them on car journeys because they weren't available when older ones were little and haven't had them with dd either.
heaven forbid parents actually teach their children how to behave rather than give in and give screens for a quiet life. Shock at some of the comments on here.

SirChenjin · 17/08/2015 15:02

I have 3 children - they don't react the same, and where have I said that I can't accept that some children might need other strategies? Hmm

What I have said is that screens are absolutely great imo, that you can read, listen to music and play the kind of games that have been mentioned here on them, and that most children can cope a mix of activities. I have also said that if your children prefer to read for the entire journey then that's fine. I hope that clears up any misunderstanding on your part.

SirChenjin · 17/08/2015 15:04

heaven forbid parents actually teach their children how to behave

Links to examples on this thread?

NewLife4Me · 17/08/2015 15:06

There's 11 pages SirChenjin

Comments of mine have them so they don't fight, argue, distract me from driving type of responses.

Maybe it's me that goes for the old fashioned approach of expecting children to behave.

SirChenjin · 17/08/2015 15:12

Kids fight on car journeys - 'twas ever thus.

NurNochKurzDieWeltRetten · 17/08/2015 15:16

Newlife Hmm what on earth has this got to do with teaching children to behave? Your comment almost reads as if you meant to reply to a different thread Confused or perhaps your favourite response to everything is to assume everyone else is a shit parent compared to you and all children not identical to yours are badly behaved? Hmm

Letting a child watch a DVD or read an ebook or even play minecraft on a 4+ hour car journey is utterly unconnected to teaching children to behave. How random. Are adults who read ebooks or use their phones on their daily public transport commute also "badly behaved" in your opinion?

NewLife4Me · 17/08/2015 15:23

Nur

Likewise, the thread is 11 pages long I read comments that fit the response I gave.
Nothing at all wrong with screens for a car journey. Personally, my own opinion is that you teach dc how to behave and not just issue a screen to keep them quiet. Education and discipline first, as I said though, perhaps I'm old fashioned in this respect.

Minicaters · 17/08/2015 15:31

Sir C I was referring to this kind of thing:
Add message | Report | Message poster SirChenjin Sun 16-Aug-15 22:41:26
"Johnny - why do you think that would all disappear if you introduced tablets? confused As many others have said (myself included), those children for whom tablets are simply another way of passing the time on long car journeys simply don't forsake all other activities for them."

My misunderstanding, my apology, but to me "children given free access" implies all, rather than most.

SirChenjin · 17/08/2015 15:31

You must have some idea of the posts which warranted that post though - it's such an arbitrary thing to come out with. What makes you think that parents on here have simply issued screens (or any other forms of in-car entertainment) rather than teaching their children to behave?

SirChenjin · 17/08/2015 15:35

No, "Those children for whom tablets are simply another way...." means those children (ie most) who simply use them as another medium of entertainment.

Heels99 · 17/08/2015 15:40

You are mad! King journeys are no fun for anyone we use DVD players. This is a random rule you have made up which makes everyone's life worse not better when travelling.

NurNochKurzDieWeltRetten · 17/08/2015 16:56

Newlife "Education and disciple first... Perhaps I'm old fashioned" - no, not old fashioned, just sanctimonious.

amothersplaceisinthewrong · 17/08/2015 16:59

Mine were little pre gaming devices so our 250 mile journey each way to see the GPS was full of "I Spy", "name an animal beginning with every letter of the alphabet," songs, and other games ad nauseum" plus the non driver reading to the kids.. I think DH and I would have welcomed TV screens /games in the car! :)

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