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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

No screen use during car journeys, am I being old fashioned?

325 replies

midnightvelvetPart2 · 15/08/2015 09:35

I do not let our DC's (9 & 6) play on screens during car journeys but I'm wondering whether I'm being a little outdated? :) they have regular screen time at home & if we are stationary in traffic jams then they can use them, but if we are just driving along then they are not allowed. I'm talking tablets/DS/handheld gaming things.

I used to get carsick to the point of vomiting if I ever tried to read a book in a car, so I wasn't allowed & this may be influencing it. DS1 used to get carsick but he hasn't been in 4 years.

I'm doubting myself now as we drove back from holiday yesterday & it was a journey of 4 hours. My dad phoned, the kids complained about the journey & that they were bored & he said well they can play on their tablets etc but when I said they weren't allowed to he was a bit taken aback. We play I Spy & Sausage etc & have music & audiobooks on so its not a silent car, DS2 usually sleeps at some point.

What does everyone do?

OP posts:
SaulGood · 15/08/2015 22:43

I did a 12hr journey today. Should have been 6hrs but got stuck in terrible traffic. I have a 3yo and an 8yo. We sang, played, coloured and listened to a lot of Harry Potter. Around 7hrs in, I would have fellated John McCririck if it resulted in some screen time.

Loafliner · 15/08/2015 22:45

When they were small we started with chat, games, food, singing, more chat, audio books and then finally turned on the DVDs....keep the most prized till they are very bored with travelling.
Now they are 12 and the like to listen to music from their phones and sing, maybe the odd game....would never even think of a dvd now.

SirChenjin · 15/08/2015 22:49

Not many kids are that interested in 'people watching' - hell, even as an adult I don't find people watching that interesting. I'd rather look out of the window for a bit then read my kindle/MN/play on my screen.

Jedi1 · 15/08/2015 22:53

Depends - 14 hours to France, as many screens as they can cope with. An hour up the road - none.

BertieBotts · 15/08/2015 22:56

Screens give me travel sickness just as reading does but listening to music really helps me. Especially if I sing along Grin Which everyone else in the car LOVES.

BertieBotts · 15/08/2015 22:57

Love the comment "It discourages mindfulness"

Yes I often encourage mindfulness in my children. Confused

hmc · 15/08/2015 22:58

Mine (11 & 13) get unlimited screen time in the car for long journeys - why the hell not? God, rather that than them dreaming up 'would you rather' scenarios. We've just completed a 4 hour trip to Pembrokeshire and an actual example of 'would you rather' from my ds was "Would you rather bathe in a bath full of other people's vomit or in a bath full of your own diarrhoea?" ..at this point I reminded him that he has his phone and wouldn't he rather play a video game?

SillyStuffBiting · 15/08/2015 23:00

Why wouldn't you Bertie?

SirChenjin · 15/08/2015 23:03

Me too Bertie. Mindfulness is an art practised regularly by the Chen Minors Grin

SnapesCapes · 15/08/2015 23:03

hmc that is brilliant! DS1 is 9 and recently sat in my car on the way to swim club playing kiss, marry, kill with DS2 and said "You have to kiss one, marry one, kill one, your people are me, Mummy and the dog". I can live without those japes while I drive.

SillyStuffBiting · 15/08/2015 23:04

[http://www.huffingtonpost.com/sarah-rudell-beach-/8-ways-to-teach-mindfulness-to-kids_b_5611721.html Mindful children]

SillyStuffBiting · 15/08/2015 23:06

Link fail.

Have a Google and a read, then come back and tell me why you wouldn't encourage mindfulness in a child.

SirChenjin · 15/08/2015 23:07

As Sarah Rudell Beach says...car journeys with hours of boredom ahead of them = not really the place for mindfulness (I paraphrase obviously)

SirChenjin · 15/08/2015 23:08

Consider yourself told.

SillyStuffBiting · 15/08/2015 23:10

Perhaps not, but developing the skill of mindfulness would mean more ease of just being present in the moment, less of the manic need to entertain and distract the mind constantly.

hmc · 15/08/2015 23:10

Snapes - I think your ds1 and my ds would get on like a house on fire! Love the pick list for snog, marry and kill Grin

SirChenjin · 15/08/2015 23:11

Yep - but this thread is about long boring car journeys where distraction is the name of the game.

Flashbangandgone · 15/08/2015 23:12

If I take a kid on a bus and they say to me " I'm bored. Mum usually gives me her phone to play on" after 20 minutes I think that's fucked. You're on a bus from town. People watch fgs

Really?!? It's 'fucked' that a child asks to play on a phone after only 20 minutes people watching... That's not fucked, that normal, if not restrained, in my view... Most adults don't last 2 minutes before getting their phones out! Encouraging kids to do other things rather than simply play on screens isn't a bad thing... It's more than some high-minded people's perspectives on this are 'fucked'.

Minicaters · 15/08/2015 23:12

Love that snapes!

My 2 are 6 and 8. They are happy with a pile of books each so we do that, maybe a sudoku book or puzzle magazine alongside. I find a screen-free norm works for us because there is no argument or stress about it and they are happy with what they have. No hand wringing here, some old-fashionedness maybe. They get plenty of tv and tablet at home but they love reading in the car and will want to bring a book even if we are only going on a 10 min journey.

OP I think our history plays a big part. I always used to take a stack of books as a child. It never really occurred to me not to encourage reading in the car once our children could do it independently, even though DD was carsick as a toddler. I know it's not magically going to turn them into geniuses.

Flashbangandgone · 15/08/2015 23:15

Depends - 14 hours to France, as many screens as they can cope with. An hour up the road - none.

Agree with 14 hours... Why not an hour trip though? I see nothing wrong in giving my kids screens for hour-long trips.

SillyStuffBiting · 15/08/2015 23:18

Constant distraction?

If you look back I'm not advocating a journey completed in meditative silence, but a balance of all the things discussed, including technology.

However, the issue as I see it is this constant need for distraction, busy minds and entertainment.

Developing your own mindfulness techniques and supporting your children to do the same allows people to just be. To be present and aware, to be curious about what they can see and hear, to switch off the auto pilot .

We all have busy minds and constant bombardment and stimulus adds to that.

BabyGanoush · 15/08/2015 23:19

I think you should just do what suits you.

My kids (10-13( just get bored, tell joked, play games, get bired, eat sweets, sing along to the radio in silly voices, get bored, squabble, fall asleep....

They used to get car sick, and books/screens make it worse. It's better now but somehow we are not in the habit.

Same when we go to family, don't want them sitting with their device in a corner, that's boring/rude for the grandparents.

They are plenty on it at home anyway

SirChenjin · 15/08/2015 23:19

If your children prefer to read for the entire journey then that's fine. Mine prefer a mix of activities, and that's fine too. The hand wringing that goes on from posters who believe that screens are part of the dark arts and will cause all sorts of long term damage is laughable.

Flashbangandgone · 15/08/2015 23:19

Apart from practicalities over number of devices etc. I can't see any real difference between books/magazines/colouring and screens... Both are distractions, just that one is 20th century whilst the other is 21st. However, there seems to be a tinge of moral superiority in those that only allow 'traditional' media to be used.

IPityThePontipines · 15/08/2015 23:20

I must be very odd as I look back fondly on the many long car journeys I had as a child.

I do think it's a good thing to be able sit with your thoughts and entertain yourself. There has been discussion far beyond Mumsnet about our diminshing ability to do this thanks to ever-present smartphones.

However,I wouldn't say no screens, ever, but for a 2 hour journey, I don't think they are necessary.