No screen use during car journeys, am I being old fashioned?

[midnightvelvetPart2]

I do not let our DC's (9 & 6) play on screens during car journeys but I'm wondering whether I'm being a little outdated? :) they have regular screen time at home & if we are stationary in traffic jams then they can use them, but if we are just driving along then they are not allowed. I'm talking tablets/DS/handheld gaming things.

I used to get carsick to the point of vomiting if I ever tried to read a book in a car, so I wasn't allowed & this may be influencing it. DS1 used to get carsick but he hasn't been in 4 years.

I'm doubting myself now as we drove back from holiday yesterday & it was a journey of 4 hours. My dad phoned, the kids complained about the journey & that they were bored & he said well they can play on their tablets etc but when I said they weren't allowed to he was a bit taken aback. We play I Spy & Sausage etc & have music & audiobooks on so its not a silent car, DS2 usually sleeps at some point.

What does everyone do?

Maybe my (teenage) DC would disagree but the thrice yearly 7 hour car trips we made didn't involve them complaining about being bored. Isn't it possible to acknowledge that something while not particularly fun or entertaining nevertheless needn't be described as or expected to be 'boring'?

It's become a kind of ritualistic process ; the feeling of relief at getting everything in the car and finally setting off and that sense of switching into relaxed holiday mode, the same old jokes about 'comical' place names, enjoyment of the open spaces after being in a built-up environment, the educational opportunities ( that sounds very worthy), cheering every time we enter a different region, following the trip on a map etc, daydreaming, having family discussions, dozing then waking up and being either pleased or disappointed at which place we've reached etc

FWIW my sense is that spending a lot of time on screen games can be stressful and there's no outlet for the stress when you're cooped up in a car. Perhaps it depends on the game though.

enjoyment of the open spaces after being in a built-up environment

Just how big is your car?

My teens talk and joke in the car, look out for the different regions, daydream, sleep and so on - and they play on screens. It really doesn't have to be all one or the other.

Yes on long journeys somehow we manage to fit everything in. Why does it have to be all or nothing? This idea of slack jawed, monosyllabic children, glaring at their screens bypassing stunning scenery and placed of interest really makes me . It's just a massive exaggeration by judgey, non screens for children proponents to justify their choices.

If we're all bored I use the sat nav and change mode so it reads out the road names. We've turned up to campsites in crying with laughter as its been struggling with breaking down French or German names.

Wow, you manage to pass many hours worth of car journeys by laughing at sat navs struggling to pronounce furrin place names?

Yes, my kids are a tougher crowd I'm afraid.

Lightbulbon
I presume when you got to your destination they were hooked up to their devices the whole time? And that you had plenty of time for interaction then?

As for expecting 5 year olds to have more than a fleeting interest in scenery, I presume you don't or haven't had a 5 year old!

SirChenjin, not answering for her but a few pages back, trollkonor said this:

"These day they both have a Hudl loaded with tv programmes, spotify play lists and games. I don't have a problem with it they're never glued to them for an entire journey. This summer we are taking it relatively easy and have 25 hours of driving there and back, not including stops, done in 4 stints.

They will vary their time and doze, stare out the window listening to music, watch a program, read, listen to a comedy podcasts on the car stereo, play on an app. I do the same if I'm on a train or plane. My teenage son and younger both enjoy the long stints snuggled up and chilling."

which sounds kind of idyllic actually, and was one of the posts which made me think I could moderate my approach as my children get older.

Ah, I missed that Findo, apologies . A mix of activities - screens, chatting, sleeping, looking out of the window, listening to music and so on is surely what most people do to while away the hours on a long journey? The idea that screens Are A Bad Thing And Must Be Banned is bizarre - most people need a variety of activities in order to stop boredom setting in.

It's early days for my family, but so far my young DCs have managed long car journeys quite well by being entertained by a few toys and the scenery. I'm not in a hurry to encourage screen use to entertain them. They do use a couple of apps on my phone, but we're still at the stage where it's frustrating because they knock the screen and need assistance with it. Generally letting them use screens is more frustrating than not!

There is a benefit in being aware the places where you are going through. As an aside, there's a definite difference in people's navigation skillset and awareness since people became so dependent on sat nav and paid less attention to their surroundings.

In the days before sat navs there were also far more navigational-related arguments, instances of being completely lost were common place, and driving alone in strange places was often scary - so easy to take a wrong turn or miss an exit. The benefits of sat navs far outweigh the drawbacks.

I've told this one before - but I knew of a couple who bought their first sat-nav and used it to go to a wedding. The address they put in was that of the printers who produced the invitation. And I would like to have been a fly on the wall when they realised . . .

Those that are really against tablets and phones in the car for children-what age doesn't become ok?
10, 13,15? What?

I don't know if anyone here has said they're "really against" tablets and phones in the car. I'm one of the people that said my children don't have them: they're 5 and 8. The 8 year old, if she had a tablet/DS in the car, would play it non-stop, completely captivated until the batteries ran out, upon which she would be utterly incandescent with rage, if she hadn't already puked by then from motion sickness. I know this from experience. The younger one would self-moderate a bit more, but it would be obviously unfair to give her a handheld device for the car and not her big sister. However, neither of them mind not having one, because it's not something we do, so it's non-issu Much like neither of them mind not having a bouncy castle in the garden or a four-poster bed made of candycanes.

I don't know that I have a definite age in mind for when it would be OK to let them bring their own handheld stuff on car journeys - they don't own their own yet: we have family tech stuff that we all share, so I guess when they do? Probably when they're over ten. I haven't really thought about it that much - in fact until this thread, I didn't give it much thought at all!

a "non-issue", that should say.

SirChenjin thanks to Findo for the context ?

After 6 hours of fairly calm driving we come off the autoroutes which is when all hell could break out at any moment. Everyone is tired and ready to get out and the arguments will start. It begins with the kids who start to fret about who looked at who first. Then the adults who aren't sure if they're lost or not start screeching at the kids to shut up becuase they cant think. Then tell each other off for shouting. The kids then start getting angry at the thought that we could be lost and we're telling them off for shouting when we are also shouting.

Yes, we're all easily entertained, I blame too much screen time ;), but switching the Sat Nav mode does help us get through it.

My comment was meant as a silly illustration about how we use screens and tech as part of our daily lives. Not that this is our only form of entertainment on a day long drive because we're so amazing.

Thinking about it we would all have incredible patience if we relied on the SatNav for our entire entertainment. When a sign appears saying its 375km to Bordeaux you k ow it will be a while before the next enthralling update ????

We don't do it because they would pester for tablet every time they got in the car. Also they do other things - read, puzzle books, listen to music, chat - all that would disappear if we introduced tablets. They've never taken a tablet out so the idea that it would work in the car / train / bus is alien to them. It doesn't occur to them. Plus we have one ipad, not one for each family member, so they would fight over it endlessly.

a tablet would be a potential missile in the hands of my 6yo. she has form. it's something I'd rather not deal with while tying to drive.

Johnny - why do you think that would all disappear if you introduced tablets? As many others have said (myself included), those children for whom tablets are simply another way of passing the time on long car journeys simply don't forsake all other activities for them.

You can read books,do puzzles and listen to music on one tablet anyway.

My kids (and me too) would all be quite likely to puke if we tried to read in the car. I can't do anything on a screen either, but they both played games just fine except on very windy roads.

Now they are teenagers they don't really use 'screens' in the car anymore, they both listen to their ipads if they are bored. It was the five to ten age bracket when their ds's were very heavily used (pre tablet days), and when we did the longest journeys, including driving across the US for two and a half weeks in our rather overfilled golf. No room for a whole bundle of toys and stuff.

troll Thinking about it we would all have incredible patience if we relied on the SatNav for our entire entertainment. When a sign appears saying its 375km to Bordeaux you k ow it will be a while before the next enthralling update

That made me chuckle as it reminds me of the long journeys in France when the sat nav tells you that 300kms you will have to "keep left". Oh the excitement of looking forward to that kink in the road!

I thnktheat the bored child who is incapable to waiting whilst doing nothing has its roots further back than screens. I certainly never went out without a bag of colouring stuff or toys to keep the SmallDragons entertained in restaurants etc etc. Restaurants themselves hand out activity packsaddles because a child cannot possibly be expected to wait and do nothing but talk to their parents.

Screens are no different really. You can do all manner of things on a tablet. We have Uno on ours. Is that any different to a pack of cards? Is a pinball game on a tablet so different from a toy pinball game? How does a book on a screen differ from a paper book? Audio book on CD or MP3... They are both the same.

I used to get car sick if I read, so I think I used to sleep as much as possible on long journeys. I think I was about 16 before I got a walkman, so I couldn't listen to music.

My ds is 12 and got a Nintendo DS at 7.5, and a Hudl tablet at 11. On journeys he plays games, listens to music, reads a bit, plays pub cricket if we're on roads with lots of pubs, counts cars! So even though he has the screens, he finds other ways to entertain himself as well. We used to drive to Scotland from Hampshire when he was quite small (with a stopover in Lancashire) and I think he used to play with soft toys and read/look at books and sleep a lot in th pre-screen era.

The main priority on a car journey is to ensure that the driver does not get distracted and drives safely, so you do what you need to to make sure the kids are occupied and happy.