AIBU?
Wedding and childcare
Freeble · 13/08/2015 23:28
Sorry I want to put this as objectively as I can as can't see wood for the trees and need impartial honestly.
Couple have been invited to wedding of old mutual friend. One of the couple has been asked to have a part in the ceremony which will involve them being present on the stage of the ceremony for about 2 hours. Its a child friendly / alternative event and it has been made clear by those marrying that should this person need to hold their baby while up there it is not a problem.
The other member of the couple (who are not getting married!) has suggested the person does not take on this honoured role as they will be unable to help with their other child, who is 6, and will not be able to do very much with the baby as probably won't be able to hold them up there for the whole thing. The other member of this couple is upset that the person taking on this role, which of course is an honour, has not thought to refuse on these grounds.
Views appreciated!
PiperChapstick · 13/08/2015 23:34
If the person going "on stage" is thrilled to have been asked and is keen to play a part I think their OH should try and be more understanding than just saying "no". It will be v boring for a 6yo for 2 hours, but that child may be perfectly well behaved as well. I'd suggest that if need be the OH takes 6yo out and hands baby to "stage" person. It's just one of those things you have to put up with when you take kids to a wedding
if DP sat on a stage at a wedding for 2 hours while I looked after a baby and 6yo unless I had lots of pals I could chat too. Are people expected to watch the 2 hour spectacular, like a play, or can you wonder off Fizrim · 13/08/2015 23:46
Is it your wedding then?
It's not going to be very relaxing for the person not 'on stage' for the two hours they have to look after the 6 year old, even in the event that the 'on stage' person holds the baby (and I think this is unlikely). They are not going to be able to sit and watch the ceremony while the other parent has a couple of hours off!
PiperChapstick · 13/08/2015 23:49
Not getting a consensus here people.... Should the stage person have been more considerate to family needs? Is non stage person being mean spirited?!
It depends. Is stage person really keen to take on the role, or not arsed? If it's former I think non-stage should try and rope in help in forms of mutual friends, especially any with kids. If it's the latter it's a great excuse not to do the stage thing
BackforGood · 13/08/2015 23:52
If one parent has a role to play in any sort of ceremony that is presumably important to them, then it's not unreasonable to expect the other parent to cope with a 6 yr old and a baby for a couple of hours, IMO. Not ideal, but, when you have small dc, that's what life is like and there are times you suck it up so your partner can do something that is presumably important to them.
That said, I agree with everyone else this sounds like a very odd wedding ceremony, and am dyiing to know why anyone would be expected to sit/stand on a stage for two hours for a wedding ceremony 
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