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To not want to take Mil on holiday with us?

108 replies

CatthiefKeith · 13/08/2015 13:07

Dh and I renewed our vows abroad last year, and really want to go back to the same resort for a holiday with dd next year.

Last year was lovely, but it was a bit exhausting making sure all of our guests (20 plus us) were enjoying their holidays and having a good time. The up side though was we did get a fair amount of time to ourselves while dd was off on sleepovers with mil, my parents and my dsis and her children. This time round it will just be the three of us, and we will hae time to really make the most of the resort. (It is an all inclusive Holiday Village)

I mentioned the holiday to Mil last night, and that we were really looking forward to it. I've just spoken to DH and apparently Mil rang him this morning and has asked of she can come too. Shock DH thinks this would be a great idea, she has apparently offered to babysit dd for a couple of nights so we can go out.

AIBU to think that actually, this sounds like a really bad idea and say no?

OP posts:
CatthiefKeith · 13/08/2015 15:37

Shock No way Inertia, I don't see enough of her as it is, and it is very much a family resort.

OP posts:
TheCunnyFunt · 13/08/2015 15:43

ShockShockShock Holy shit Saucepan! Did your legs recover ok? I'm guessing they were broken?

florentina1 · 13/08/2015 15:47

When my MiL was widowed we took her away with us. Not learning our lesson, we did it again the next year. Being total cowards, we did not go away the following year as we could not bear to take her. After that we booked caravan holidays, because she hated them.

Never having the courage to standup to her, I am loathe to give you any advice except.


notquitegrownup2 · 13/08/2015 15:51

YABU not to link to your earlier threads! Grin I love dotty in-law threads.

Have just advance searched for your Tunisia tales and can't find it!! [sob]

Jengnr · 13/08/2015 15:52

goes off to search CTK's earlier threads

cozietoesie · 13/08/2015 15:54

She wanted a photo of her husband occupying a place at the top table?

Dear Goodness.


My brother and his wife started, some years back, to take her mother on holiday with them. Now, it's become a 'thing' for them - to the point where they've started to invite a friend of hers along to most holidays also 'to keep her company' and she sulks if she's not automatically included.(Well I say 'sulk' but really she just plain doesn't understand or believe it.)

He's also now getting a lugubrious 'Well it might be her last opportunity to visit.......' piled on his plate.

He's nearly demented with the situation but sees no easy way to get out of it now that it's been going on for so long. Beware!

Bullshitbingo · 13/08/2015 15:56

I'm sorry, I really want you to go so I can follow your live holiday feed. I love a good mil thread, and this one would be amazing!
Sometimes a mumsnetter just has to take one for for the team. Grin

CatthiefKeith · 13/08/2015 16:07

I think it was in Chat.

Brief rundown: Parents took me, dd, dsis and 2 nieces away to Tunisia. 2 weeks before the holiday the terror attack in Tunis happened. They all went for 2 weeks but I only went for the first week as thats all the annual leave I could get approved.

Dsis spent the entire week pissed. The weather was shit. She was too hungover each morning to get up with her kids so I ended up in the (hot and stuffy) indoor pool with all three kids every morning.

The food was dire. It was easter so they had a little pen set up in the restaurant containing a cockerell, 2 rabbits and a Guinea Pig, which various kids terrorised three times per day. I got a big fat Hmm face when I complained that it was cruel.

The kids clubs were all in German (absolutley fair enough in a predominately German hotel, but meant dd and her cousins weren't keen on going) and the pools were absolutely freezing. I didn't see a single person in them for the entire holiday.

Dm and Df had a row, Dm and Dsis had a row. By the time I came home hardly anyone was speaking. To top it all off I got D&V at 3am the day I was coming home and had to fly home with nearly 4yo dd whilst using up every sick bag on the plane and trying not to shit myself.

The lovely lovely cabin crew man was amazing. I wouldn't have made it home without him.

OP posts:
StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes · 13/08/2015 16:09

oh boy... you do realise that this will set a precedent for every holiday though don't you?

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 13/08/2015 16:09

Don't forget the scabby cat!

CatthiefKeith · 13/08/2015 16:10
OP posts:
designedbynature · 13/08/2015 16:10


We went to the Holiday Village in Cyprus and got a babysitter in the form of a girl from the Creche.

notquitegrownup2 · 13/08/2015 16:11

and offers v real sympathy. That sounds truly awful for you - and so close to the terror attack too Sad

CatthiefKeith · 13/08/2015 16:11
OP posts:
girlywhirly · 13/08/2015 16:14

I would be particularly angry that not only had DH said MIL could come on holiday without discussing it with you first, but that you are both going to pay for her as well.

I've been on holiday with my MIL and with SIL as well, but this was mutually agreed and MIL and SIL paid for themselves, flights, hotel, meals. Occasional babysitting was a treat in itself as they didn't see DS often.

If you want MIL to come for a week Catthief, make sure she pays her flight and hotel and she should want to baby sit for some of that week. It's only fair if she wants to muscle in on your holiday, note how she asked DH and not you, she must have suspected you wouldn't be keen.

CatthiefKeith · 13/08/2015 16:17

Oh yes! Scabby cat. Somehow after dm, dh and dsis had all fallen out I ended up sleeping on a lilo under beach towels on my own balcony since my bed was taken up with my Dad and all the kids.

Suddenly a purring ball of warmth jumped over the balcony and I had a cat to keep me company. I let it under the towels covers and it cuddled up under my chin.

Then I caught sight of it in the light of my phone as I mn'ed and realised it was covered it hideous open, weeping sores, and both its ears were totally shredded. Shock It was not a pretty, or indeed well, cat.

I woke up next day with a scratch, which may have been from scabby cat, and mumsnet convinced me I had Hepatitis. Fortunately blood tests have since ruled that out, but the cut became badly infected and I still have a scar.

OP posts:
Flaperon · 13/08/2015 16:19

I would rather not have a holiday than go away with either Mil or DM. That would be my worst fucking nightmare.

Don't do it. Or if you do, make sure you live post it on here. Grin

ollieplimsoles · 13/08/2015 16:19

God this thread gets better and better!

I still can't believe he wants her to come with you OP- you know she is using babysitting as an excuse to come?

ollieplimsoles · 13/08/2015 16:24

She feels used, thinks I am being selfish and putting pressure on her to drive on the motorway, and am exposing dd to unhealthy living arrangements. (Apparently being bought up by dgp's is unnatural, and the woman's husband could be a paedophile)


And sil has apparently phoned my florist and asked for a sample from the flowers so she can match her dress and asked if florist can make her a co-ordinating headpiece. (She is blatantly going to turn up in a bridesmaids dress isn't she?)


Op these people are INSANE. I thought no one could top my MIL...but THIS.

CatthiefKeith · 13/08/2015 16:30

Unfortunately my lovely friend broke her leg a couple of weeks into the arrangement so I still have to do the massive trip once a week.

Have you got to the bit about sil's wedding yet? When they wanted a full size cut out of fil? Dh talked sense into them in the end though Grin

OP posts:
Skiptonlass · 13/08/2015 16:34

What disgrace to the y chromosome said.

Look, you know you shouldn't. You know it'll be awful. You know you'll be setting a precedent that will haunt you forever. You know you'll then be doomed to take mil along foreverandeveramen

Well, next time take some decent antiseptic for the cat-scratch fever, and do take time to update us all here on MN. We do love an insane mil thread. :)

Skiptonlass · 13/08/2015 16:36

I'm reading your previous thread and simultaneously howling with laughter and feeling guilty because this happened to real people and I'm laughing...

Christ on roller skates, Keith, don't do it!!

ollieplimsoles · 13/08/2015 16:37

Have you got to the bit about sil's wedding yet? When they wanted a full size cut out of fil? Dh talked sense into them in the end though

I'm still reading in utter disbelief!

InTheBox · 13/08/2015 16:41

Yikes, is no one on MN a MIL? It's staggering how much they are reviled.

MagicalMrsMistoffelees · 13/08/2015 16:42

Sorry can you just clarify that your mother in law wanted an actual seat / space on the top table for a framed photo of her dead husband? Obviously it's very sad he wasn't there but...really?! How creepy!

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