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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To put my ten year old in pull ups?

89 replies

trashcanjunkie · 13/08/2015 01:19

He's a sporadic bedwetter. Has never gone more than a few weeks/month without wetting the bed. In September he has a residential trip with school for five nights. I think it's highly likely he'll wet. It seems to happen in spurts, so the first week of the holidays he wet every night. When he's at his dad's, they wake him for a wee at midnight. He thinks this helps, but I'm not convinced and think it's bad to disturb his sleep. I suggested he goes into pull ups for the trip. I think they're discreet enough under baggy pjs and he can put them on in the toilet, (I'll stash them in his bathroom bag)

I mean, he can't possibly be the only child not dry at night can he? There must be discreet provision made? I'm actually starting to feel a bit ill for him. I'm literally awake now stressing about it. He's such a lovely boy, very tall for his age and very mature, but he feels totally betrayed by his body on this matter.

I've never ever made an issue of it. We use bedmats and it's really easy to manage. At his dad's there have been a few issues over the years with it. They seem to have sorted a strategy out that works for them.

I'm up for any alternative suggestions/hand holding/similar situations.....

OP posts:

SaucyJack · 13/08/2015 01:36

Are you about to dripfeed that he has cerebral palsy and LDs?

If not, then I think it's time to make an issue with it. Take the poor kid to the GP.

I have a ten year old. It isn't within the normal expected range of behaviour, and I would be very surprised if provisions were made by teachers (without prior knowledge) to deal with bed wetting.

mileend2bermondsey · 13/08/2015 01:37

Well I don't have any kids so I can't say how many are still regularly bedwetting at age 10, but I can say that if anyone had wet their bed even once on the residential trip I went on as a 10 year old, they'd still be being laughed at now.

Wearing pull ups discreetly seems like the best solution to an awkward issue.

DoJo · 13/08/2015 01:42

As a solution to the short-term problem of the residential trip, I think that pull-ups seem ideal although I would make the teachers aware so that they can ensure he has time and privacy in which to put them on.

Moopsboopsmum · 13/08/2015 02:11

Are you aware of ERIC? www.eric.org.uk perhaps you could find some further help/support.

TheHouseOnBellSt · 13/08/2015 02:23

Have you sought help from the doctor? If not then that needs to be your next course of action.

Re pullups if you are SURE he can manage them without being seen then why not? But most ten year old boys aren't thorough enough to be sure to keep them hidden in bag or drawer and if the others saw them....well.

mathanxiety · 13/08/2015 02:34

Take your child to the doctor.

Coffee1234 · 13/08/2015 02:34

There's a nasal spray or tablets that can be used to make kids who bed wet dry overnight. It doesn't solve the underlying issue so isn't a treatment but is often used for "emergency" social events like camp or sleepovers. Your GP will know.

bloodyteenagers · 13/08/2015 02:39

I say this as a mum who death
With bed betting beyond 7.
Have you been to see a gp?

There are so many things that can contribute to bed wetting.
Kidney infection for example. Can show in a urine test, but as a parent
Yo are blind to the symptoms.

Caffeine - it is hidden in food, so not just a tea or coffee.

Drinks after a certain time.

Other food/drinks that can contribute to bed wetting - hence
Going for medical intervention you are asked to keep a diary

Stress and how you can help relieve this.

Sorry but unless he wears a very, very long top over pj bottoms the pull up will at some point be visible.. And then there's the smell of urine. No matter how much you hide the pull up, the smell is going to be harder to detect.

bloodyteenagers · 13/08/2015 02:39

Sorry harder to not detect.

SamJohnsonsBoy · 13/08/2015 02:50

I mean, he can't possibly be the only child not dry at night can he? There must be discreet provision made?

On the basis of having organised Cub and Scout camps, I am afraid the answers to your questions are:

Yes, he probably is the only child of that age not dry at night, and I have never heard of any "discreet provision" being made.

Also if you put him in pull-ups and they others find out, I am very much afraid his life will be made hell.

I think you need medical advice.

madwomanbackintheattic · 13/08/2015 02:51

My 13yo is the same. He doesn't have cp but my 11yo does, and she has been dry day and night reliably since 2yo. both of my nt kids have been late bedwetters. She was the first one dry, even though she was the youngest.

Anyhoo - gp and referral to enuresis clinic if you haven't already been through the enuresis alarms and Desmo trials. Usually one of them works, depending on the cause (usually deep sleeper or non production of right hormone). Sometimes you need both

Good job dd2 didn't hear the crack about sn, saucy...

Good luck. Time to get a bit of help - if he is unhappy with the situation, it's time to give him a bit of help. Very ordinary, but time for the gp. Nothing to be ashamed of.

TerrorAustralis · 13/08/2015 03:24

Bedwetting beyond 7 years old is considered a problem and not within the realms of normal. Please take him to a doctor.

hogbreath · 13/08/2015 03:30

Have you thoght about how he will dispose of the wet pull up without others finding out.
I think you need specialist advice.

TheHouseOnBellSt · 13/08/2015 03:47

Hog makes a good point OP. If he puts them in the bathroom bin, the others will see them. If he ties them in bags, they may smell.

GoblinLittleOwl · 13/08/2015 06:31

Please let the staff know, now, about your child's problems before he goes on the residential trip. You are quite right, he is not the only child with bed-wetting problems at that age, but it can be dealt with discreetly if staff are aware. One girl wet the bed each night and literally covered it up, only discovered when the beds were stripped at the end of the stay; her mother didn't think we needed to know! Poor girl, and unpleasant for the other occupants of her room.
But you must seek medical advice.

Idefix · 13/08/2015 06:43

You are right he is not the only one op, so please speak to the school and staff about this. Expecting him to manage this on his own is probably going to be stressful for your ds.
Assuming you have been to gp and that your ds has no underlying problems. Have you been referred to enuresis service?

TheUnwillingNarcheska · 13/08/2015 06:48

If you have taken him to the GP and nothing they did has helped you should have been referred on.

Ds1 was a bedwetter and we discovered it was because he wasn't producing the hormone vasopresin which reduces urine production at night and therefore the bladder does not get full and doesn't need emptying.

Gp prescribed desmopressin and it worked. We used it only for school residential trips/hotel stays etc as we weren't prepared to medicate him on a permanent basis.

He stopped bedwetting in year 6. I can highly recommend www.eric.org.uk/ as it has good advice and info on how much liquid they should be drinking so the child's bladder can hold a lot of urine and also what steps you should be taking in the day to help prevent night time wetting.

UrethraFranklin1 · 13/08/2015 06:56

some people here don't know what they are talking about. its more common than you imagine and about one in ten are the same at that age.
For some kids there is no underlying cause, and sometimes nothing works, not the meds, not the alarms, not the fluid restriction. Just time and waiting for their body to catch up with their peers.

lunar1 · 13/08/2015 07:08

I'd speak to the teachers and ask them to keep the pull-ups. Get him a onesie and let him tell his friends he is taking antibiotics so he can go to the teacher morning and evening to change in private.

HexBramble · 13/08/2015 07:13

It's not normal but it isn't uncommon OP. You MUST see your GP. They can do two things:

Instant referral to the paediatric urodynamics clinic at your local NHS trust. The specialist nurses there are fab.
GP may decide to prescribe a synthetic called Desmomelts - they will help your son by suppressing the production of urine at night (they work by imitating the hormone we all should have in our bodies).

I say this again - please see your GP. It sounds like you and your exH are handling it well in terms of your DS's emotions but he's getting older and this will certainly isolate him from his peers if you don't get a proper plan in action.

Re residentials: you MUST speak to your DS's teacher. This is important. They will have come across it before so they'll be able to have a plan of action - perhaps storing the night pants in their bathroom, being ready in the morning to accept the used pants for disposal etc, but you have to warn them OP. It'll be disastrous for your DS if you don't

DD is 10 next Feb and has this same problem. She is registered with the UD clinic. She takes this same medication and we manage it by encouraging more water consumption during the day, no fizzy drinks at all and monitoring other drinks and their effects (Orange juice irritates her bladder, red berry based drinks also). Emotionally, she knows that it isn't her fault - her bladder is unstable and her body doesn't produce the night time hormone needed to suppress urine production - we have hammered this message home to her and I'm glad that you sound to be doing the same. BUT - you must see your GP. It cannot be managed without their intervention. For your DS's sake.

The link above is good for info - read it.

One last thing - pack the night pants in a drawstring toilet bag - two bags if need be and provide him with scented nappy bags and a small pack of wipes/flannel for him (again out of their packaging) for disposal. This is to protect him from other pupils. DD had a 'white lie' ready to tell any friends that asked why she went into her teachers room in the morning on her residential (that's where she kept her night pants and would put them on last thing at night and took off in the morning). We told her that saying her teacher had 'hayfever' medication that she had to take. Harmless white lie that gave her extra reassurance.

Sorry for long post, but you must make these provisions to help your son.

Snowberry86 · 13/08/2015 07:13

I took a 13 year old girl with no special needs on a school trip a few weeks ago who wore pajama pants (pull ups) at night time. She had an issue with bet wetting all through childhood, had medication for it. She hadn't had an accident in a long time but for her own reassurance whilst away she wanted to bring the pull ups. At 13 she was able to keep them in her toilet bag and be discreet about it but actually the other kids in her room all knew and didn't make a fuss at all.

I would make sure the school know as if it's bunk beds he needs to be on the bottom bunk, and they might ask you to send him with some bed sheets in case of an accident.

HexBramble · 13/08/2015 07:17

YY to UrethraFranklin too - it's more common than what you all realise.

LIZS · 13/08/2015 07:20

Not as uncommon as you might think. We had French exchange students 10/11 one of whom wore pyjama pants. They are quite bulky though so he needs to be placed with a few friends who won't tease and have ready access to bathroom. Staff will have dealt with this before so seek their advice.

fruitpastille · 13/08/2015 07:41

Two ways I have dealt with this on residentials

Gave child medication before bed (there are always a few with various medicines required so nobody questions the reason)
Allowed child access to staff toilet to deal with pull ups and put in bin there.

I also have a couple of family members who wet to this age. Things that worked were bribery, Rodger alarm pants and just patience.

peacefuleasyfeeling · 13/08/2015 07:44

I've taken lots of 10 year olds on residential trips and come across bed wetting twice. In the first instance we were not forewarned and it became a bit problematic until we had a chance to make provisions. The second time, the pupil's parents made sure we were well informed and prepared. We even agreed to wake her every night at midnight to take her to the toilet which was a bit of a slog but I think prevented accidents (well, wetting the pull up) all but one of the nights.
Good luck!

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