To put my ten year old in pull ups?

[trashcanjunkie]

He's a sporadic bedwetter. Has never gone more than a few weeks/month without wetting the bed. In September he has a residential trip with school for five nights. I think it's highly likely he'll wet. It seems to happen in spurts, so the first week of the holidays he wet every night. When he's at his dad's, they wake him for a wee at midnight. He thinks this helps, but I'm not convinced and think it's bad to disturb his sleep. I suggested he goes into pull ups for the trip. I think they're discreet enough under baggy pjs and he can put them on in the toilet, (I'll stash them in his bathroom bag)

I mean, he can't possibly be the only child not dry at night can he? There must be discreet provision made? I'm actually starting to feel a bit ill for him. I'm literally awake now stressing about it. He's such a lovely boy, very tall for his age and very mature, but he feels totally betrayed by his body on this matter.

I've never ever made an issue of it. We use bedmats and it's really easy to manage. At his dad's there have been a few issues over the years with it. They seem to have sorted a strategy out that works for them.

I'm up for any alternative suggestions/hand holding/similar situations.....

My 4 year old is still in a nightime nappy and GP said this is only a worry after age 7. I think let him have the pull ups for the trip but do see the GP to get him checked out.

It isn't within the normal expected range of behaviour, and I would be very surprised if provisions were made by teachers (without prior knowledge) to deal with bed wetting.

Half a million teenagers in the UK have problems with bedwetting or bowel control. I didn't know that until I looked at the ERIC site. So although not "normal", definitely not unusual. I'd have thought it was something schools would be aware of even if they don't come across it all the time. However, I agree that they need to be forewarned.

2. GP may decide to prescribe a synthetic called Desmomelts - they will help your son by suppressing the production of urine at night (they work by imitating the hormone we all should have in our bodies)

A point of accuracy: they MAY work to suppress night time production. They don't work at all on some children. And they can cause side effects.

I don't think its as common as you think op (sorry!), I ran a brownie pack for years (age 7-10) and took 30 girls away for pack holiday twice a year and I never had any wet the bed or need to wear pull ups overnight.

I think they'll be spotted by another child and he will be teased very badly.

I'm sorry but I really think you need to talk to the GP.

My 9 year old still wets the bed once in a while (every 10 nights or so?). It gets him down, but it's not hard to pluck him up again. It's not a huge issue yet, mostly because sleepovers tend to be at our house.

My GP said it's normal and that he'd refer me if I wanted to be referred, but that it would almost certainly entail some drug regime. He suggested it would work itself out in time and that it wasn't a big deal.

I wouldn't put him in a pull-up. He'll feel infantilised and it's going to make it even harder for him to stop, because he won't be able to feel himself peeing the bed.

I don't think its as common as you think op (sorry!), I ran a brownie pack for years (age 7-10) and took 30 girls away for pack holiday twice a year and I never had any wet the bed or need to wear pull ups overnight

That's because the bed wetters probably don't go on the overnight trips, rather obviously.

Whats with the "I've no experience of it so it doesn't happen" attitude. It's a rate of 5-10%, at least one child (often boy) in each class will be the same. IT is common and it is normal.

My mum was a bed wetter at that age and so was I and I did wet the bed on a school trip at that age. My mum was abused for it so made every effort for it not to be a big deal for me. I'm not sure what the right practical answer is if you could just wing it and hope for the best or have a word with teachers about hiding the pull ups. Hope it goes OK for him either way. x

Sorry, I completely misread your point about pull-ups OP! My son and I had a long discussion about this before his recent residential trip and ultimately he decided not to wear pull-ups (he was nervous about someone noticing) but rather to be super-careful about how much water he drank after 6pm and he took 4 pairs of PJs (for 2 nights!).

If you make a project of keeping track of his episodes you can probably reassure him that the odds of it happening on the residential trip are low.

It may not be common but it is certainly not unusual for bedwetting at 10. I was buying night time pull ups for my DD at that age and you could buy them for age up to 15. She is 13 and has stopped now. She had a form of epilepsy that she seems to have grown out of that appeared to be the root cause of it. Its up to you how you handle it OP but it is likely that they will grow out of it but a trip to the GP is certainly a good idea.

I used to wet the bed until I was about 11 and it would happen approximately three nights a week.

I was on medication and using alarms but nothing worked.

I used to avoid going anywhere that included an overnight stay which was quite isolating really as I turned down all invites to go to sleepovers.

I think your son is being very brave going on this trip and good for him for bit letting his bed wetting get in the way of him enjoying his childhood.

I really hope everything goes smoothly

BTW I was also bedwetting at that age. My lovely friend and I were talking about it and she said she wet the bed at 15. We both grew out of it.

bearleft - strangely I have epilepsy too. I started having full on seizures when I was 16 but on hindsight I think I was having strange episodes from a much younger age. I do wonder if my bed wetting was in some way related.

I have net numerous children who bed wet until a late age and had a later diagnosis of epilepsy.

Dd is 7 and has only just become dry during daytime. So nighttime is way off. Wears pull-ups at night. Has shower first thing in morning. She has sensory probs but can't tell by looking at her. Brownies have said that it will be fine for her to wear pull-up as they have dealt with sane thing before. They will keep it discreet. Think it's def worth you telling teacher. And go to GP about seeing paediatric continence clinic if not done already.

get some proper pants from the ERIC website. they look more like ordinary pants.

DS1 took and DS2 takes desmopressin. Initially high doses, now weaning down.

It changed his outlook on sleepovers dramatically. I only wish we'd started them earlier (for their benefit).

My son wet until he was 13. We were seen at the enuresis clinic and it was explained that some children just don't produce the hormone to suppress urine production at night until they are a lot older than most. No he isn't the only 10 year old to still wet, but it isnt that common and he should get some help. It may turn out he is like my son and just has to wait to grow out of it.

Regarding school trips etc, I was able to get dry night sleep shorts a few years back, not sure if they're still available but they were a bit less conspicuous.

Don't panic!
I've been on many school trips with 11 and 12 year olds who wet the bed at night, and staff are discrete about it.
Just let them know beforehand.

Thank you to the posters who have given the lovely advice and support. I'll check out the link in a minute.

We have had advice from exBIL who is medical, and a friend who's a nurse and did a bed wetting course. Both advised it's not uncommon, and after seven can go on until 15. I have friends who had this same experience.

I will speak to the gp but I'm going to want a lot more info about the 'side effects' and no, I'm not keen on medicating him unless absolutely necessary.

And there's no way on earth I'd send him without first discussing it with his teachers.

Talking to family members with medical experience is not the same as going to the GP. The general rule of thumb is that it is not considered a problem until the child is older than 7 and the advice is to see your GP if it continues after that as there could be an underlying medical condition.

I am slightly cross that your BIL and your friend did not advise you to see your doctor.

If you haven't already sought medical advice then please do as there will be treatment options available.
In the short term for the trip, what about incontinence pads? I'm not sure how thick they are but just thinking they might be less noticeable than a pull up.
Apologies if that's a stupid suggestion.

DS1 is 5 and if we go away he wears a Dry Like Me pad at night but not sure if they'd be big enough for a ten year old.

For everyone who is implying this is unusual, I work in primary and our fab year 6 ta does the same bedtime chat each year on the residential. She makes it quite clear that bed wetting does and will happen and that people need to a - be kind and understanding and b - anyone who thinks they may wet can talk to any staff in confidence.
It always works a treat and is vital, as they have bed wetters every year.
Op, please please don't leave your ds to manage this himself, it would be far too stressful for him.

We've had 10 year olds on cub camp who used pull-ups. We also used to take them for a loo trip (half asleep) at midnight-ish before we went to bed. The bedtime chat sounds like a great idea too.

I don't think the prevalence rate of something automatically has much to do with whether it's "normal" or medically healthy behaviour tbh.

Asthma is very common in children, but you wouldn't ignore it because you know four other children in your DCs class with it.

It was my understanding- which other people have repeated- that bed wetting past the age of 7 is a problem. I really do think you ought to take him to see a medical professional.

Op. You're not alone. All 3 of mine wet the bed. The two youngest do it maybe 1-2 a fortnight but ds who is 11 wets nearly every night. We've tried everything and nothing works. But he also doesn't have anything physically wrong with him. He went on a residential trip in May. His teacher was great. She told me that there were 3 other wetters going and that they would all be placed in the room next to hers that had its own private toilet. The other kids had no idea as they were all split up similarly. He took night pants but only had an accident twice which I was thrilled about. When he did have an accident he was told to rip them off while still in his sleeping bag and push them to the bottom with his foot. When he went for a wash it was gone when he came back. The teacher was great. So understanding.

Speak to the teacher before deciding. I was adamant he wasn't going as I dreaded him getting bullied. Regardless of some of the opinions on this thread it is a common problem and certainly not one I'd let my child beat them selves up over. I wet the bed til I was 13.

exBIL is medical and didn't provide advice on supports available to a ten yo that bedwets?
I assume this isn't his area of expertise then. And that you should ask someone who knows what they are talking about. All of the medical professionals we have seen since ds was 7 (actually 6, because his sister had been to the same clinic) have been quite happy to help any child over the age of 7. Your BIL is quite right in that it is well within the bounds of normal. But to not recommend the standard treatment route to giving that child and parent support to cope is extremely poor. What on earth sort of medical professional is he?! He has let a child go without any help for three years?

A nurse with a bed wetting course? i assume the fact that they give nurses bed wetting courses must mean they expect them to be involved in supporting families then? As it is so normal, with such a very common treatment route?

Who the hell are these medical professionals that have advised doing fuck all?

Treating bed wetting is bog standard once the child hits 7. (It might not work, but every single kid would have the option of either enuresis alarm, Desmo, or both, in an attempt to get dry.) I am aghast that you have had such poor advice from friends and relatives, tbh.