To put my ten year old in pull ups?

[trashcanjunkie]

He's a sporadic bedwetter. Has never gone more than a few weeks/month without wetting the bed. In September he has a residential trip with school for five nights. I think it's highly likely he'll wet. It seems to happen in spurts, so the first week of the holidays he wet every night. When he's at his dad's, they wake him for a wee at midnight. He thinks this helps, but I'm not convinced and think it's bad to disturb his sleep. I suggested he goes into pull ups for the trip. I think they're discreet enough under baggy pjs and he can put them on in the toilet, (I'll stash them in his bathroom bag)

I mean, he can't possibly be the only child not dry at night can he? There must be discreet provision made? I'm actually starting to feel a bit ill for him. I'm literally awake now stressing about it. He's such a lovely boy, very tall for his age and very mature, but he feels totally betrayed by his body on this matter.

I've never ever made an issue of it. We use bedmats and it's really easy to manage. At his dad's there have been a few issues over the years with it. They seem to have sorted a strategy out that works for them.

I'm up for any alternative suggestions/hand holding/similar situations.....

DS peed the bed till he was 8.
He was referred to the eneurysis clinic where a lovely nurse explained about the bladder being a muscle which needs to be exercised. So no restricting liquid during the day and only water.
He had to chant "I am boss of my bladder".

She encouraged us to make a big chart to monitor progress..and within a week ds was dry.
The relief.
It was the hassle of changing sheets and trying to remain pleasant at 2 am which got to me.
We laugh about it now.
When he is 18 I am going to buy him a pack of pullups as a memento and a T-shirt with " boss of my bladder"

I'm amazed at these people saying they run residentials and haven't come across this in that age group. I have at Brownie and Guide trips pretty frequently but then we do make it known when the info goes out that we can deal with a bit of wee subtly and that it's NOT a reason not to sign up and enjoy the trip. Hope I'm not accidentally encouraging bed wetting.

Do any of his friends know he bedwets?. DS had a best friend who did. In fact he'd wear a oullup for solidarity on sleepovers.

Late to this thread but hope I've read it all!

DS is 12 next week and he still wets randomly. We've done medication, alarms, clinics, medical investigations etc. He's just a deep sleeper and later developer!

I'm currently in a Travelodge bed minus duvet as he has mine following a 4am incident despite loo trip at midnight and no drinks after 7pm.

We've found it's disruptions to his routine that cause most problems. He's often wet on camps / residential / sleepovers. I do warn and we pre-plan. Often he self-manages but he occasionally takes pull-ups depending on circumstances. He HATES them but, sadly, is old enough to understand when they're the best option. I routinely supply bags to hide wet clothes and we try to get two pairs of identical PJs so if he uses the spares it's less obvious.

For sleepovers, I warn the parents and offer to provide (discretely) waterproof protector and an extra sheet. No-one has taken me up on the offer but they do make their own adjustments and it's not been a problem.

At home, we double make the bed - waterproof, top sheet, waterproof, top sheet - so we (or often just him now) can strip the top layer, grab the spare duvet if needed and get back to sleep.

This will pass!

Go for the trip with pull-ups if you and your ds are happy with that soloution. I have taken school trips on residentials and it is quite common in Yr 5 and 6 to have some who still/occasionally wet the bed.

Do the school know? Sorry if I have missed this bit. We send out medical/info sheets at the beginning and then start working on strategies with the parents as to what fits best for their children. If the school don't know - I would get hold of them quick and start discussing options.

I have dealt with medications, late night toilet visits, late night drink bans, sealed bins stashed in the bathrooms, kids 'being ill' and going to breakfast late - we can be very inventive, sensitive and subtle

Good luck.

I'm sorry but barring SN or health issues it is not normal for a 10 year old to be pissing the bed. Pull up's sound like a drastic measure and tbh I wouldn't let him go on the trip until he learned to stop wetting the bed. He will be crucified by his peers if they find out. Is he an anxious child? Maybe it's anxiety/stress?

Lovely helpful post flowers which adds precisely nothing to the discussion. Have you actually read the thread?

I wouldn't let him go on the trip until he learned to stop wetting the bed
Is that deliberately goady or are you really that stupid?

flowers have you read the many other posts about bed wetting on this thread? Or looked at the link? Have I wronged you in someway that you think calling my lovely son 'not normal' is warranted? Did you read the post I wrote about his peer group? Also, you might notice we've all used the term wetting the bed, or peeing. Pissing the bed comes over as really derogatory in your post, and it's not something he can consciously learn, or he would have. He's mortified at home when he does it, and that mortified feeling is what I hope to avoid. When he's used pull ups in the past its then a minor inconvenience. You do know they make pull ups for up to age fifteen don't you? Available off the shelf in every supermarket? If it's not that common, why would they bother? Plus anecdotally almost everyone if spoken to about it can relate a story of a late age bedwetter. No he's not an anxious child, he's very confident. I've also said I've booked him a doctors appt, and do you know what? You thinking it's not normal doesn't fucking help the situation at all. I think you should really have a think before you write posts as unkind as yours.

Utah I'm going to speak to school the first day back - I hadn't thought about it as an issue when we booked the trip, early last year. Now I'm thinking about it, his last few months have been more dry than wet. I'm wondering if the combo of change in routine for the holidays, plus anxiety about the trip have made things worse.... I normally use disposable bed mats, and I know I've only bought two packs in the last six months. That means I can have a rough idea of how much he's wetting at home. Not sure about his dad's house, but I can ask.

That's great news about him being more dry. Trips, even when looked forward to, can be very stressful and bring out lots of anxieties. Good luck with talking to the school, they should have lots of ideas - I would always do whatever I could to make sure that all my children have a good and stress free time.

Oh flowers, how utterly and completely naive. Just because you have not experienced something personally does not make it in any way abnormal. your attitude is part of the reason why this absolutely ordinary situation is not discussed in our culture. It doesn't mean it isn't there, and it would be absolutely great if people discussed it openly so that kids and parents didn't feel they were the only ones experiencing it, and be embarrassed or ashamed, and knew when to seek help.

There are loads of kids this age attending residential trips who bed wet. To try to shame a child into 'learning' not to bed wet is the worst possible way to deal with it, and also likely to make the problem worse. You are worried about the child being stressed or anxious? How is telling him he can't go on a school trip until he is dry supposed to help him relax? Good grief woman!

Oh do one flowers with your goadyness. my mum was like you. Making me feel shamed about something I couldn't help doing. Leaving me out of trips away and what not. My son doesn't feel anxious or upset about it. I don't want him lying there frozen in fear of falling asleep and wetting sorry PISSING the bed or worse waking up wet and waiting for the axe to drop when my mum came in and ripped me out of bed in a rage. I'm not gonna lie, there are times when I feel like screaming the house down in rage or frustration but he will never see that because he cannot help it.

Op I was advised to give him the responsibility of maintaining reasonable hygiene ie immediately strip the bed, spray antibacterial stuff on mattress (all my 3 have waterproof ones. Frigging god send I tell ya) open the window and dump washing in the machine. Ds would try hiding the evidence which never helps whiff wise. The only time I might get mad is if he wees and leaves it to fester. I tell him that's what annoyed me. Him letting his room smell like a gents toilet not him having an accident.

Hi. I haven't read every reply but could your GP refer you to a continence clinic? There is one locally here so am guessing most health trusts will have them.

Team I am working with refer lots of families for support so its not uncommon.
They should be able to offer practical advise and support.
Definitely tell the school too. Good luck with it.

Flowers - maybe you could stay at home until you've learned your narrow representation of the world isn't everyone's reality. If you're this ignorant about bed wetting god only knows what must happen when you come across a child with significant challenges.

As for not letting him go until he 'learns' not to 'piss' the bed - what useful advice are you going to give there? How are you going to do that?

I hope to god your children never stray from the average in any area of development because God knows what their life would be like.