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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To still be letting this bother me slightly and find it really rude?!

97 replies

Lj8893 · 12/08/2015 13:20

A wedding one, sorry!

I got married last month, a few guests let me know last minute (within the week of the wedding) that they couldn't make it for whatever reason.

3 people (not connected) just didn't show, didn't let me know and haven't said anything since. Not even a congratulations. At the time I was far too busy and wrapped up in the wedding and honeymoon and aftermath etc. but it's still bothering me a bit!

Aibu to think that's really rude and not the done thing? Or am I being precious?

I really want to say something but feel it's too late now.

OP posts:
talentedmrsripley · 12/08/2015 13:24

Very rude - YANBU

Cherryblossomsinspring · 12/08/2015 13:24

No, that is extremely rude. I would contact them and ask if everything is okay as you expected them at the wedding and they didn't show up. Then leave it at that. Unbelievable they haven't even been in touch with an excuse.

Original poster
Lj8893 · 12/08/2015 13:25

Oh I lie, dh contacted one of them who responded saying they were too hungover Hmm

OP posts:
CaoNiMa · 12/08/2015 13:26

Too hungover! What is wrong with people??

That's awful.

5Foot5 · 12/08/2015 13:27

Very, very rude

Original poster
Lj8893 · 12/08/2015 13:27

I wasent surprised at that guest tbh, he has form for being extremely unreliable.

The other two I was quite surprised about though.

OP posts:
TenForward82 · 12/08/2015 13:28

We had one couple do that to us. 2 years ago, I still haven't forgiven them.

Spartans · 12/08/2015 13:30

Were they just invited to the evening part? Or the full thing?

If you are surprised by 2 of them not turning up, have you not contacted them out of concern?

Original poster
Lj8893 · 12/08/2015 13:34

Facebook tells me they are fine, or certainly fine enough to have messaged me to say sorry they didn't make it/couldn't make it. I don't even expect a reason!

They were invited to whole thing, we didn't have separate evening guests.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lj8893 · 12/08/2015 13:35

Tenforward, the stubborn petty part of me wants to cut them out of my life but I know that's just silly.

OP posts:
JanineMelnitzGlasses · 12/08/2015 13:36

YANBU but its done now so I'd let it go and move on, or your memories of the day will be marred by the people who didn't show up.

I had a couple of people who didn't turn up to mine; one called a day before but the other three didn't and have never offered an explanation. I'm really not bothered, they missed out on a great day and a free bar.

Spartans · 12/08/2015 13:37

in that case yanbu. I would have thought, that even if something really bad had happened, they would have contacted you within a month. If they have been on fb. Even just to say 'really sorry we didn't make it'.

LeafyLafae · 12/08/2015 13:37

That's disgusting behaviour on their part, so rude!
I forked out money for transportation for our guests, which everyone rsvp'd they had wanted, but no one used it!
There's so much hype about 'perfect' wedding days, but I think it's normal to feel a bit ShockConfusedHmm about some aspects of it afterwards

19lottie82 · 12/08/2015 13:39

Yes very rude, but not uncommon, unfortunately.

MissBattleaxe · 12/08/2015 13:41

Incredibly rude.

Original poster
Lj8893 · 12/08/2015 13:41

Just out of curiosity I just checked if they had any Facebook updates on the wedding day, one of them went to the beach!

OP posts:
StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes · 12/08/2015 13:44

YANBU but I am amazed at how people when invited to our party for our silver wedding either ignored the invite or said they were coming and then did not show with no apology.

Original poster
Lj8893 · 12/08/2015 13:49

I can't believe how many people have experienced the same thing, so shockingly rude!

OP posts:
LaurieFairyCake · 12/08/2015 13:50

One guy didn't turn up to our wedding and then never offered an explanation for 10 years until one day he expressed surprised that DH was married (on facebook)

Happy36 · 12/08/2015 13:52

Their behaviour is totally unreasonable. If they had been taken ill on the day of the wedding or another emergency had occurred, they should have contacted the venue or someone in the wedding party (bride or groom´s parents or siblings, best man, bridesmaid, etc.) to let them know, then contacted you in person after the wedding. I am astonished that people would be so rude.

Original poster
Lj8893 · 14/08/2015 18:29

So the one that went to the beach has removed me on Facebook.
God knows what I have done!

I have messaged her asking if I have upset her in some way due to the non attendance and the Facebook removal.

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 14/08/2015 18:35

How odd

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 14/08/2015 18:38

YNBU. But people are not obliged to congratulate you.

chinam · 14/08/2015 18:39

She's obviously not happy to have the whole of mumsnet read about her lack of manners.

Original poster
Lj8893 · 14/08/2015 18:41

lighthouse I don't think people are obliged to congratulate me but I thought she would have at least congratulated me since she didn't turn up/let me know!

Yes, the thought that she read this thread did go through my mind Confused

OP posts: