To just not bother telling DH?
talentedmrsripley · 11/08/2015 11:13
I'm going to meet up with a friend tomorrow but DH doesn't like her. WIBU to lie if he asks me what I'm getting up to (I am on holiday at the moment and hes at work.)
He'll probably not know but then if the trains late he might ask where have I been and I don't want to get caught in a lie.
Ragwort · 11/08/2015 11:30
Your DH shouldn't police your friends, - my DH has a few friends that I don't like very much - yes, they drink a lot when they get together and (IMO) act rather stupidly but I wouldn't forbid him to meet them. I choose not to see them myself, but they are his friends.
talentedmrsripley · 11/08/2015 11:30
Not really sure. I've never done anything awful but I have asked him to collect me from the train station twice quite late (about 11 o clock) and I know that annoyed him, and he also doesn't really like me being out in the evenings and doesn't like spending money.
Theycallmemellowjello · 11/08/2015 11:45
Sorry, OP, but it is really not ok if your DH does not like you being out late or spending money and is also policing your friendships.
I think that it is reasonable if you have shared finances to set a limit together on what it's ok to spend, but that has to be done together and be fair to both parties. And again, constant absence till very late would get to any partner, but to object to it happening at all is not on. Saying that he doesn't like your friend is ok I reckon, but stopping you seeing her (or acting like you shouldn't see her) is not on. I guess if she's done something bad to you or someone else it could be reasonable for him to voice an opinion that she's not good for you, but it could be no more than opinion. I guess it's ok for him to say no to lifts though, but very mean if it's not often and your return the favour and do other stuff for him.
I'm not one to throw out the words controlling and abusive, but do you think that his behaviour could fit these labels?
Theycallmemellowjello · 11/08/2015 11:46
Also, him not liking you being drunk is not ok. Not liking you being paralytic/drinking so much you're sick/drinking so much you break stuff/are horrible, is fair enough. But not liking you getting a bit squiffy every once in a blue moon? Controlling.
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