"Unless he tells the OP she isn't allowed out (which at no point she has said) or makes threats or emotional blackmail, he is hardly controlling and abusive."
If you think this then you have absolutely no idea how controlling men work. They don't outright forbid you - everyone can see that's wrong! They are far more subtle than that. They manage to make it such a big deal to go out that you never bother. For example:
They will pretend to be all okay with you going out, but object to certain friends, going on about how they are a "bad influence", or that they don't like him, or that they are embarrassing, or annoying. He will refuse to come along to things that you are jointly invited to leaving you feeling awkward. Or he will come, but act aloof and rude so that you feel embarrassed. He'll insist you are home by a certain time because of "costs" or worries about your personal safety or the fact that he will "wait up worrying" about you.
He will let you go, but be ready to play 20 questions on your return. Where did you go? Who did you see? Was X there? Did you talk about me? Did you talk about X? How much did you drink? Did Y get drunk? How much did you spend? What time were you in X bar? And not in an interested way, but in an accusatory way. And as soon as you say a "wrong" answer it's grounds for a whole argument in which you end up defending yourself/feeling like you've done something wrong even when you haven't.
He may agree to look after the baby, but then have some kind of crisis at the last minute. I can't give him a bottle. He won't take it from me, you'll have to feed him. He'll have to work late so he can't be home on time. He'll be "too tired" or ill. Without children, he'll do similar in pretending to be all supportive until the actual evening where he will stall you making you late or suddenly not be able to give you a lift or develop some ailment which makes you feel bad about leaving him. He might make disparaging comments on your outfit or hair just before you leave to put you on the wrong foot and make you feel self conscious. Or he'll make some kind of comment about how he's so lonely at home on his own and he never gets to go out, so you feel bad.
He will go on and on about "not trusting other men" as though rapists lurk in the corners of every pub just waiting to pounce on unsuspecting women, although what he really means is he doesn't trust you.
Or perhaps while you are out he will bombard you with text messages and calls, insisting you "check in" constantly so that you can't actually relax and enjoy the evening. If you ignore the phone he will get angry, claiming that he was "worried" or that you are ignoring him because you find somebody else more important. He will start to claim that you must have been with another man, and the more you protest this the more self conscious you feel which makes you feel guilty which he then uses as fuel.
He will let you go but sulk and moan and whine so much about it and make so many little digs and jabs that it just doesn't seem worth it very often.
Controlling men don't forbid their victims from doing anything, they don't have to. All of the above is controlling.