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AIBU?

AIBU about Christmas dinner?

297 replies

Scarydinosaurs · 09/08/2015 10:27

Sorry, it's still Summer but I'm being forced into thinking about this following a discussion last week at a family birthday.

It's our turn to do Christmas on Christmas Day. I would like to do Salmon and beef for the main meat. I don't like turkey. I eat it, but out of politeness, I would never buy it and eat it myself.

When I said that I planned to do something other than turkey, I've been told that we can't. It's got to be turkey. By MIL, both SILs and FIL. And DH (obviously!) doesn't want to upset his whole family, so has said our lovely plan to do a huge fillet of beef and a BBQ whole salmon has to be scrapped.

I obviously want to be a good host and give my guests food they like, but they all eat beef and salmon, they just don't want it for Christmas lunch. AIBU to say, I think they're rude for dictating to me what to cook them for Christmas lunch?

OP posts:

Report

MintJulip · 09/08/2015 10:55

What's the drama, really?

yes indeed, one is invited to someone elses house for dinner, why create drama, pull faces and demand ones own menu what one is used too like some robot that will break down at another oil being fed in?

Lucked · 09/08/2015 10:55

Well if I knew more than 50% of the people eating the meal wanted Turkey I would do it. I agree a compromise of Turkey and one other thing the BBQ salmon. Do the beef for New Year's Day, there are plenty of times over the festive period to cook lovely meals.

Scarydinosaurs · 09/08/2015 10:55

I have thought about goose, but worried about cooking something well that I've never cooked before, and reluctant to pay out for two to practice.

OP posts:

MintJulip · 09/08/2015 10:56

Get a turkey crown from m&s pre prepared

oh no!! get basic turkey crown, cheapest you can find.

AuntyMag10 · 09/08/2015 10:56

Honestly you're hosting people so to me I would prefer to make what my guests actually want but I'm in the minority here. It's a bit mean to have people over and then have them eat things you know only you would prefer. That's not being a good host at all.

ClashCityRocker · 09/08/2015 10:56

Sorry, x-post with op.

In that case, I'd ask a guest to bring the cooked turkey crown and you can reheat.

pictish · 09/08/2015 10:56

I agree. Bloody turkey crown and the job's done. They can have their dry, unappetising, tasteless turkey if they must.

DinosaursRoar · 09/08/2015 10:57

Thing is with turkey, to get it to taste good, you need to get expensive turkey. Expensive turkey isn't dry and bland, but most people can't afford to spend £60+ on just the meat element of their Christmas dinner, so have only ever tasted turkey that's bland and a bit overcooked/dry.

Could you compromise with something else more festive like goose? That's traditional without being turkey if you really don't like it.

You have time between now and Christmas to try cooking goose if you never have to see if you like it/can cook it well. Or small beef joint and turkey crown, (no fish, you'll end up having to do a second set of sides to go with it rather than just a roast), you don't have to cook it the night before (as this will pretty much garentee it's dry and bland!).

ClashCityRocker · 09/08/2015 10:57

I don't think you get a lot of meat from a goose, from memory.

startagainonmonday · 09/08/2015 10:58

I don't understand why you'd need to scrap the salmon if it was planned as the starter anyway?

ImperialBlether · 09/08/2015 10:58

Yes but then when the OP goes to their home next year, they cook what they want, don't they? So the poor OP never gets what she wants for Christmas lunch!

UrethraFranklin1 · 09/08/2015 10:59

Either host with good grace and make your guests happy, or don't host at all. Don't grudgingly have people but tell them they'll all get what you want cos its your gaffe. Thats not being a good host at all.

ClashCityRocker · 09/08/2015 11:00

The Marks and Sparks breast joints are very good IME. I cook it in a brandy and marmalade marinade and it stays moist even when I get pissed and mess up the timings slightly.

MintJulip · 09/08/2015 11:00

dinasours maybe, I had an expensive one once over £60 organic too from m and s - I got it for £12 in the sale on xmas eve.

I cooked it on boxing day - it wasn't nice. I quite like it cold though and have it in sarnies, DH doesnt like it all though.

Goose - is far far easier to cook than a turkey op, because its laden with fat....so it will usually remain moist no matter how you try and murder it like me

Lidl did a great goose last year was about £20 I think?

AuntyMag10 · 09/08/2015 11:00

Urethra completely agree as that's my idea of good hosting.
Op have the salmon, turkey and scrap the beef. What's the point if most people aren't going to be happy ?

Groovee · 09/08/2015 11:01

I'd buy a turkey joint from tesco/Iceland and serve them that with your salmon.

rollonthesummer · 09/08/2015 11:01

Salmon with gravy?! Really?! I'm not being sarcastic but that sounds all wrong and I love salmon.

Can't you do Turkey and beef? We often do both Turkey and gammon. Then have salmon the next day?

cashewnutty · 09/08/2015 11:01

OP will get what she wants if she does the salmon starter, beef and turkey crown main. Everyone is satisfied.

OP do your guests not contribute to the food for Christmas? We all chip in in our family as it is so exoensive. Was just thinking that a guest could be asked to bring the turkey crown?

MintJulip · 09/08/2015 11:01

Yes but then when the OP goes to their home next year, they cook what they want, don't they? So the poor OP never gets what she wants for Christmas lunch!

YY and of course OP has put up and shut up for many xmasses because she has manners, because she doesn't demand to eat what she wants at someone elses house.

TBH op, its common behaviour.

Scarydinosaurs · 09/08/2015 11:01

Turkey crown full done from M&S is a great option! Turkey is a crap meat. If it was so great, we'd all be eating it all year round.

OP posts:

FirstWeTakeManhattan · 09/08/2015 11:03

Tell them to bring their own turkey? Lovely.

It's not dictating what the op should cook. I would probably prefer a decent chicken or unctuous pork belly, but it's Christmas lunch and yep, most people expect, and would like to eat, turkey. Not everyone, but most. So you either cater for guests as it's a day and a meal you'd love them to really enjoy, or you stick to your guns and eat beef and salmon, even though your guests don't really want it.

I know this is mn and so everyone yells 'do what you want! Your house your rules! Fuck what anyone else wants - you cook, you choose!' but it's a special shared, family meal, and frankly I would not focus on I want, but what my guests would really enjoy.

They're not being rude OP, they just want a 'classic' Christmas lunch as for many people, its a really big part of Christmas. That's not difficult to understand really.

GrinAndTonic · 09/08/2015 11:05

MintJulep yes!
It's the OP's house. She is paying for and preparing the food so she should have what she likes. Anyway, where does it say that you have to have turkey? The big book of Christmas rules?

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ilovesooty · 09/08/2015 11:06

So those who think the OP should cook the turkey, do you think people are likely to accommodate her preferred food next year?

ClashCityRocker · 09/08/2015 11:07

I don't think there's anything wrong with asking a willing guest to bring a turkey crown - when we host, most guests contribute something as we do when others host. It spreads the load, cost and fridge space.

Baddz · 09/08/2015 11:08

Agog bench :)
Well...cook what you want then. If they like it but just dont eat it on that day, it's not your problem.
But if it were me I would just cook what they will eat. I wouldn't want to spend all morning cooking and then have people just push it around Their plates with sad faces all round.

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