AIBU about Christmas dinner?

[Scarydinosaurs]

Sorry, it's still Summer but I'm being forced into thinking about this following a discussion last week at a family birthday.

It's our turn to do Christmas on Christmas Day. I would like to do Salmon and beef for the main meat. I don't like turkey. I eat it, but out of politeness, I would never buy it and eat it myself.

When I said that I planned to do something other than turkey, I've been told that we can't. It's got to be turkey. By MIL, both SILs and FIL. And DH (obviously!) doesn't want to upset his whole family, so has said our lovely plan to do a huge fillet of beef and a BBQ whole salmon has to be scrapped.

I obviously want to be a good host and give my guests food they like, but they all eat beef and salmon, they just don't want it for Christmas lunch. AIBU to say, I think they're rude for dictating to me what to cook them for Christmas lunch?

[Jux]

Voddie, what food do you normally have at Christmas in NZ? Is it a barbecue? I love the idea of Xmas on the beach, but it would be weird. My brother spent one Christmas on tour playing in Saudi Arabia, and he said it was great, but weird having hot weather and endless dunes....

[SanityClause]

So, Comfy, you think the OP is BU to say, she thinks they're rude for dictating to her what to cook them for Christmas lunch?

She didn't ask if she was BU not to cook Turkey (she is cooking frikken Turkey!) She asked if she was unreasonable to think her ILs are rude to make a fuss.

And they blimmin well are!

[whois]

Yeah I'd do Turkey and beef. If you're doing 2 things anyway might as well do Turkey for them.

[Scholes34]

The meat is irrelevant. It's all the trimmings that matter and you can't stuff beef. Salmon for starter, turkey for main, beef for Boxing Day.

[voddiekeepsmesane]

I don't do turkey. Will eat it out of politeness at other peoples houses if cooked but will never cook it myself. Maybe it is because I did not grow up with traditional turkey Christmas (New Zealand). People will get beef/pork or usually Lamb at ours at Christmas too bad if you don't like it be polite like I have to and next year when it is your turn then you can have your turkey.

[rookiemere]

I'm a turkey traditionalist, but I would be happy enough with a three bird roast or indeed a chicken, provided it had all the trimmings.

I do hate this attitude some have here that being a guest means that you have a right to no preferences at all and should be grateful for anything your hostess deigns to serve no matter what the occasion.

Of course I'm grateful not to cook but when we go to family for Christmas it involves a very long car drive and sleeping on a very uncomfortable old mattress that has to be put away during the day as we're in the living room. It's very far from being ideal but they are lovely people and it's nice to see them, however I actually find it a lot easier to have them at our house where I can sleep in my own comfy bed and have a bit of privacy when I need it. Strangely enough I don't find cooking Christmas dinner very stressful - just hand over wads of money to Marks & Spencers and it's fairly easy from there.

I was in tears through lack of sleep on Christmas morning last time there, and had I been told that there was no turkey I probably would have upped and left at that point. Some things you just don't mess with!

Oh and btw when they are at our and vice verse we check to see if there is anything particular that people want so last year I went OTT on pigs in blankets as they were wanted by everyone , plus cooked a gammon for Christmas Eve I think, which is not one of my personal favourite meats.

[ilovehotsauce]

Your house, your Christmas!
They are guests and should act accordingly!

[morelikeguidelines]

I can't believe anyone who would complain about what someone else is cooking for them. I am with you primal.

[diddl]

"but when I went to Dh's parents for Christmas, and was served a three bird roast"

Still bird(s) though & I think that that's the thing for a lot of people.

[FithColumnist]

DameDoom, I can't help but snigger. I am so puerile.

[EygptianSnow]

Op are you bored today?
It's August

[DameDoom]

I bought two v posh chickens and passed them off as turkey. My turkey-loving ILs raved about my juicy breasts. Had to do stealth carving in the kitchen though.

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

I agree with you MintJulep - though from the other angle. I was brought up in a tradition=turkey family - but when I went to Dh's parents for Christmas, and was served a three bird roast with no turkey whatsoever, I was polite and appreciative - and I happily joined in with their Christmas traditions too, even though they - gasp - differed from my family's traditions.

[DelphiniumBlue]

Just cook turkey as well - it will keep hot for several hours if you wrap it foil and towels.
FWIW, although I love salmon and beef, I'd feel like part of |Christmas was missing if I didn't have turkey for lunch.

[ComfySensibleShoes]

okay chill out, the OP did pose the question 'AIBU' therefore I answered, yes YABU. Okay I get it, she is cooking turkey - but she doesn't want to and is asking AIBU....

Who knew people could get so het up about Christmas, in August!

I'm so glad we have a small xmas lunch just me, DP and the DC

[Phoenix0x0]

primal

[PrimalLass]

Do you know, I can't believe there are people in the world who as hosts don't want to make sure their guests have a lovely time and think of what they would like best.

I can't believe there are people who are invited round for Christmas dinner then moan about the food.

[PrimalLass]

For me, its not about the Turkey, but the trimmings. If there are no pigs in blankets, no sprouts or parsnips, no bread sauce and red currant jelly, and worse of all, no red cabbage, what the hell is the point?

We have all that with beef. Plus horserubbish sauce.

[EvansOvalPiesYumYum]

Exactly what MintJulip says!

[MintJulip]

Traditions are what distinguishes Christmas Day from any other normal day. They cannot be messed with


But its our family tradition to not have turkey, however our traditions do not trump my social manners. I have graciously eaten turkey and an array of other offerings - gladly and politely over the years.

I personally would never ever dream of causing such fuss over a need not to have turkey. Its so rude.

[EvansOvalPiesYumYum]

Juggling

[EvansOvalPiesYumYum]

No, not just you, OOAOML and MrsD-B - I really hate it too, and sometimes do put my foot down and just say NO!

We do Christmas our way, unless it's our turn to have the in-laws.

[JugglingFromHereToThere]

"Every year you say, ooh, that goose was delicious, we've never had goose before"
That made me smile Evans
Of course goose is much more traditional really

[mrsdavidbowie]

Ooaoml I don't do big gatherings..only me and kids this year.
We have a great time because we do what we want. No going to places we don't want to or spending time with people we don't like" because they're family"
No ridiculous expense or panic.

[OOAOML]

Is nobody else feeling faint at the thought of always having to have a big family gathering at Christmas? Just me?