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AIBU?

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Sex in Class

138 replies

Lavenderice · 06/08/2015 21:05

"83% of British kids have seen porn by the time they are 13!"

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TheImminentGin · 06/08/2015 22:17

The why not get them a book suggestion just seems ludicrous in the context. And I did get my eldest a book. She's female. But I cannot imagine those boys taking in a book.
I'm sorry, it made me snap.

Framboisier · 06/08/2015 22:21

The really horrifying thing about the programme was the teachers who are supposed to be teaching PSHE right now - not mentioning the clitoris, getting all huffy about what she was doing, looking like they would curl up in embarrassment if asked a question...
As for that MP with his silly schoolboy smirking....with adults like that in charge, no wonder the kids are uninformed and immature!

LokiBear · 06/08/2015 22:22

The problem is that kids are learning about sex through porn. Google has the answer to every question in this day and age. We hide real sex and real relationships from kids. The media perpetuates this false perception of beauty and lies to our kids about what it is to be male and what it is to be female. During one of the sessions I teach one of the boys added that it pissed him off when he was accused if only wanting one thing because he liked to hug his girlfriend. He wasn't trying to get her to have sex he just liked to feel close to her. The class laughed at him until I pulled them up on it. Boys need to know they are allowed to feel. Girls need to be empowered to value themselves as more than a sex object. If you want to show your teenagers something brilliant, look on youtube for the spoken word poet Holly McNish - show them her poem 'touch'. It is brilliant.

ahfuckit · 06/08/2015 22:23

What channel was it on please?

pinktrufflechoc · 06/08/2015 22:24

It took a while for me to twig that this was a TV show!

Pubic hair has been "out of fashion" for some time, hasn't it?

Lavenderice · 06/08/2015 22:25

It was on Channel 4 ahfuckit

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ahfuckit · 06/08/2015 22:26

Thanks Lavender

Psycobabble · 06/08/2015 22:26

Well yes it has but why has it ?? Because of porn and medias portrayal of what women should look like

pinktrufflechoc · 06/08/2015 22:29

My DH expressed a desire (ahem) for sans pubic hair when I met him, sometime in late 2000. Don't think he'd seen any porn other than the odd bit of boob.

TheImminentGin · 06/08/2015 22:31

Pubic hair or not, it was good to question the boys assumptions and make them consider what it was like to be expected to be bald.

I'd like one of her vagina/vulva cushion/models.

Theknacktoflying · 06/08/2015 22:31

It scares me that the majority of those teenagers were sexually active but knew so little about their bodies or could draw a distinction between reality and the porn.

I don't know if a GCSE in sex is the way to go, but it has definitely opened up the doors to rethinking the outdated system we seem to employ to teach our kids about sex.

Were STIs ever discussed?

LokiBear · 06/08/2015 22:36

STI's are taught as part of science. It is a core part of the curriculum. It is the emotional aspects of sex that aren't taught in every school. The mechanics are covered, the important bits, however, are not the mechanics.

Pigriver · 06/08/2015 22:38

I can't believe people are shocked with the proportion of teens that have seen porn. It was exactly the same when I was a teen (20 years ago) but the difference was it was a magazine passed around in a park or a video stolen from an older brother. Now kids can access such a massive array of porn at a moments notice so it has become normal and not 'naughty' or 'secretive'.
It is so clear hoe this has influenced the attitudes of boys and as a knock on effect girls. As girls think they must please the boys.
I have seen other similar documentaries about teen attitudes to sex and they all have a depressingly similar message. Sadly, as long as parents/government avoid the issue it will continue. The message about safer sex seems to be working with the drop in teen pregnancy rates but unfortunately we are teaching our children that's its ok to treat a girl like a porn star as long as you use a condom. The 2 lessons need to go hand in hand. You are never going to stop teens experimenting with sex but surely we can equip them to do it in a safe and respectful way?

Fairylea · 06/08/2015 22:44

The thing is its not just porn. Everything is over sexualised. ... music videos, on demand TV with no watershed, selfies on instagram by pre teens that are heavily overtly sexual etc etc. It's all too much, too young.

HelenaDove · 06/08/2015 22:46

Im watching on channel 4 + 1 Ive just seen her get the phone call from an aggrieved father of one of the girls.

TheImminentGin · 06/08/2015 22:51

There have always been issues to address but I think it is the way they are addressed that is important and, it would seem, as 50 years ago Britain with its legacy of sniggering and hidden emotions is still lagging behind.
Wonder if Belgium has different rates of sexual assault, divorce, STIs etc. Be interesting to see the Belgian system in action.

Theknacktoflying · 06/08/2015 22:52

It amazes me that education about STIs are covered in science - almost severing the link between being sexually active and wxposed to catching a STI.

I think the bad attitudes the boys had about the opposite sex was just a bit more than exposure to porn ....

HelenaDove · 06/08/2015 22:55

And towards the end of the programme one of the boys still thinks is ok to ejaculate in a womans face without consent.

It seems to be sinking through to the red headed lad though.

tvlover1234 · 06/08/2015 23:01

I left school 4 years ago and we were not told about stis in science. It was taught in PSHE.

Also on the public hair note. I felt very conscious as soon as I started growing it at about 11 and shaved it! I hadn't watched poem I just didn't like the look of it and it made me feel dirty. Still does now lol.

People just have preferences I guess.

tvlover1234 · 06/08/2015 23:01

Watched porn *

Cathpot · 06/08/2015 23:08

In Caitlin Moran's 'how to be a woman' book there is a hugely cheerful and funny and heartfelt section defending pubes and decrying the nonsense in porn. It said everything I would want to say to my girls in an amusing and direct way- I remember thinking I would give it to them in their teens. Sometimes books give that space you need within a family to pass knowledge on without having to find the exact perfect time for uncomfortable conversations . I'm not saying I won't try and talk openly to my daughters - I can (as a secondary teacher) ironically, talk easily about it with other people's children- but there is always the possibility that they won't want to have that conversation with me.

I have taught sex education as part of science for years and was at least in our school- all about the biology/ health side and not at all about the social side.Every now and then the school put on some sort of PSE day but it was patchy and low priority. I have felt for years that it was failing the kids but didn't know how far off piste I could go in lessons without training or permission and just carried on teaching as I had done within the syllabus. As my own girls grow up I feel it is giving me the kick up the backside I need to be more proactive for when I get back into schools. I'm interested to hear that some schools are already more clues up- that hasn't been my experience so it's encouraging.

enderwoman · 06/08/2015 23:26

Those of you who watched this programme-is this something that I should watch with my younger teens or not?

Lavenderice · 06/08/2015 23:31

I think so enderwoman.

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Alisvolatpropiis · 06/08/2015 23:32

I'm 26 and as long as I have been at all sexually aware, I have known that my male contemporaries expect women to be hairless. However, yet don't truly care if that is not the case.

Teens today are growing up in a different world to the one I was a teenager in.

It worries me, for them as individuals and also now I am a mother myself.

I was pressurised into giving an older boy a hand job at 14. I don't want that for my daughter (nor does anybody else, obviously!). It is worrying how unrestricted the Internet is in many ways. I'm fairly sure the ball has started rolling on restricting it though, with trolls being imprisoned etc.

SmillasSenseOfSnow · 06/08/2015 23:46

I'm 26 and as long as I have been at all sexually aware, I have known that my male contemporaries expect women to be hairless. However, yet don't truly care if that is not the case.

I'm only a year older than you and my impression was that they expected a smallish patch, trimmed short (back then). I only came across full-on baldness when I went to get a wax in Germany at the age of 22 and the salon owner suggested I get it all taken off.

My sister, however, who is 19, said something that seemed to presume the necessity of hair removal (can't remember if it was legs or pubes or both, but I know she thinks total baldness is a necessity) last time I visited home.

In response, I jokingly said that I had only shaved my legs about three times in the last six months at that point, to which she immediately replied 'ugh, you're really lucky, I need to shave every [x period of time]'.

She's a bit thick sometimes anyway but she had absolutely no inkling, not even for a second, that I might not have meant that it was because my legs were naturally magically hairless for months at a time, but rather that I often chose to leave the hair alone. That that was even possible when living with a male specimen.