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To find this vaguely nauseating

30 replies

ElementaryMyDearWatson · 06/08/2015 11:05

I sent a query to Apple about my Apple ID information. I've just got what I suspect is a standard response which includes the following:

"I know how important it is for you to have this addressed right away. I will guide you with the information to reach out to the appropriate team to get this issue addressed. ".

Really? It wasn't that important for me to have it addressed right away, telling me that they will "guide me" just sounds patronising, and I have no intention of "reaching out" to anyone. I may phone them, however.

I suppose it's grumpy of me and I should be pleased that they are trying to help, but honestly I would have been fine with a brisk "Thanks for your inquiry. I think the quickest way to resolve this issue would be for you to telephone XXXX Department, this is their number." Or, even better, "I have contacted XXXX Department who have resolved the issue by ...."

OP posts:
Poledra · 06/08/2015 11:16

I fucking hate reach out. My US colleagues use it all the time, and I can just about tolerate it when they do, but it's seeping into the vocabulary of my UK colleagues. I may have raised my eyebrow (the left one, can't move the right one on its own Grin) once or twice...

GoodbyeToAllOfThat · 06/08/2015 11:18

"Reaching out" = horrible. Not all Americans use this. Smile

MrsHathaway · 06/08/2015 11:35

Reach out used to imply emotion. It is not a synonym for "contact".

DJThreeDog · 06/08/2015 11:43

'reach out' and 'going forward' = two most hated but most often used corporate wank speak.

YANBU.

Trumpity · 06/08/2015 11:44

Hate "reach out". Argggh it sounds like pretentious wanker speech.

Totality22 · 06/08/2015 11:46

Reaching out is standard office jargon for the US. All my clients are East coast and I spend a lot of my time reaching out to them. Fucking hate the term!!!

Sandbrook · 06/08/2015 12:16

"Touch base" makes me want to rip my arm off and shove it down offenders throat.

Sandbrook · 06/08/2015 12:17

Grin @ corporate want speak

Sandbrook · 06/08/2015 12:18

Wank not want! My phone not fond of a Wank Grin

YouTheCat · 06/08/2015 12:19

Bloody hippies.

chippednailvarnish · 06/08/2015 12:21

Corporate wank word bingo is a favourite of mine;

Proactive
Moving foward together
Vinegrette
Dynamic
Innovation
Being Brave

If I can tick them all off in one meeting, I win!

moresnow · 06/08/2015 12:23

Vinegrette

Is this a thing? Google offers only nice salad dressings.

Bostin · 06/08/2015 12:23

.

To find this vaguely nauseating
SlightlyJadedJack · 06/08/2015 12:24

Vinegrette????

TheCowThatLaughs · 06/08/2015 12:26

Reach out reminds me of sons of anarchy. I didn't know it was corporate-speak, its associated with violent fictional hell's angels for me Hmm

chippednailvarnish · 06/08/2015 12:27

Ah, well a Vinegrette in corporate wank speak is sequence of database procedures that result in a new record. As told to me by a sales bloke.

I kid you not.

carabos · 06/08/2015 12:28

Watch House of Cards on Netflix - the Kevin Spacey one. They say it all the time on there in completely inappropriate contexts. Once you've noticed it, it really grates.

Ilovecrapcrafts · 06/08/2015 12:31

It's a computer I had a session with one yesterday and it's language skills were awful- "I am understanding you want your personal datas to be safe. It is relieving"
Massive TWAT

GoodbyeToAllOfThat · 06/08/2015 12:31

Kevin Spacey's dialogue is deliberately moronic and jargony. He's politically shrewd, which means he has to speak "to the people".

GoodbyeToAllOfThat · 06/08/2015 12:31

It's a computer I had a session with one yesterday and it's language skills were awful- "I am understanding you want your personal datas to be safe. It is relieving"

Jeez. Was he a native speaker of English?

Mmmnotsure · 06/08/2015 12:37

Boston Grin I have just needed to show my dd a video to explain yr reference. She is concerned about my musical upbringing now.

BigChocFrenzy · 06/08/2015 13:27

I hate the "mission statement" that every organisation has. Like a bunch of kids playing soldiers.

When did everyone start "onboarding" new employees. I keep thinking water-boarding

ElementaryMyDearWatson · 06/08/2015 13:30

Bostin, I am so going to use that diagram in my reply!

OP posts:
ElementaryMyDearWatson · 06/08/2015 13:31

Chipped, I wonder whether your sales bloke meant vignette? Not that that's any less wanky.

OP posts:
wowfudge · 06/08/2015 13:38

Even worse than 'reach out' is when idiots some people say they have 'connected with' someone. It means spoken to. Jeez.

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