To not like other children commenting on the size of ds's penis

[BocaDeTrucha]

We're on holiday at the moment and ds is a chubby little 22 months old so most of the time naked. In the last 2 days I've had the following comments: "why is his willy so small?" from a little girl, about 4 years old. And today, the little boy in the bungalow next to ours who has spent 3 days playing with ds, asked " is 'Bob' a boy or a girl?" and when I replied he was a boy, the little boy said "so why doesn't he have a willy?".

Gee, it's not that small!! I got a bit peeved but dh just told me to stop being ridiculous. Am I being ridiculous?

I would not let my 22 month old run around naked on holiday with other families around and esp if I was upset about comments re size of his willy. It's just unhygienic tbh if anything.

Why is it unhygienic assuming said child isn't peeing and pooing everywhere? Surely it's more unhygienic to stay in a nappy and pee then not get any nappy free time to their genitals? I'm a great believer in nappy free time even for shock horror, toddlers that aren't toilet trained. I don't think I'd let them round a shared place though I couldn't guarantee that DS wouldn't pee on their feet or something.

I think you answered your own question there passme

Wow, I never thought we'd even get round to mentioning pedophiles, but there you go.

Firstly, I really had a good giggle at the comment about "do you clear it up?". Well, no where have I mentioned him shitting by the pool and, if he did, of course I wouldn't, I'd just leave it there for everyone to walk in /smell etc. What a stupid bloody question. We're just starting potty training now and so far no pulled in any public areas. But I have to say, fit foranyone who has had their child full their swimming nappy whilst in the pool, it's not really much use, is it? Especially when they come to get out of the pool!!!!

Like a pp said, fresh air on their bum is good for them, especially after being in a swim nappy but actually, he isn't naked round the pool very much, it's mainly on the grass outside our little house (on a holiday complex) and on our terrace.

Secondly, I appreciate the good will, but I'm very careful with the sun, being freckley and ginger, I know as well as anyone about how to protect me and my family from the sun, and go regularly to a dermatologist who checks my skin. DS has quite dark skin, being half Spanish, and is only out in the sun during safer hours. But thanks for the concern.

Finally, getting back to the point of the thread, I know the comments weren't unkind, not at all, and I responded exactly as a pp had said, that ds was very little so everything was small. But my initial gut reaction was that of, oh shit, are kids going to tease him about this? Of course he'll be covered up as he gets older but for me to cover him up because of MY nagging feelings is silly. I want him to grow up not worrying about his physical self, just as my parents told me to ignore the freckle face / ginger comments from kids as I was growing up, which I did. It's the first time anyone has ever mentioned the issue with ds, and I know it is a little small, but I need to get over it and make sure I don't project my insecurities onto him.

Now, where are the wet wipes? I see a small present he's left me on the terrace!

Boca does it not impact on you at all that 'paedophiles' isn't some careless thing you can shrug off. I can tell you aren't bothered by it but just about every convicted child sex offender has stated that they will frequent places children are likely to be in a state of undress. But hey as long as your DS grows to be bodily confident I guess. I'm sure my eleven year old friend would have to if she'd lived long enough.

summer, not sure where I've said I'm not bothered about paedophiles, but that's simply not what my initial AIBU was about. Had I wanted to start a thread about that, I would have. On this complex where we come to regularly, children constantly wonder in and out of each others houses, something which I don't like at all and will be teaching ds not to do. We never let other children into our house to prevent any awkward situations, even though we might come across as unkind for being that way.

Yes, you're being ridiculous.
He's only a little boy and all of them have small willies at this age.
This is what you answer any child who asks you.
It's not rocket science.

Also, there are miles of beaches here that are open to everyone where children are naked. We chose to be in the safety of a secure complex where only residents can come in and out. I know that doesn't exclude the possibility, but it's something.

Put some pants on him=problem solved

summerandautumn

wow that's absolutely vile about what happened to your friend, and I cant even imagine how that's scarred you and her family

I really truly and genuinely mean this gently- I don't think its very fair to say that to the OP.

seriously paedophiles will do what they will, and that comment could read like victim blaming. Lets face it they are going to get their rocks off regardless.

and again sorry to read that, truly shocking

Oh, no I didn't mean it to sound victim blaming

But I hate the ooh, someone mentioned paedophiles, wondered if that would come up, well I will do what I want because there isn't a paedophile round every corner attitude.

I'm sorry OP.

But yes paedophiles flock to where children are and especially naked children so I just wouldn't.

But it is a kind of victim blaming. Would you say that to women who've been sexually assaulted? OOO there are rapists out there so don't go where there are rapists.

I'd try to keep myself safe and not put myself in a vulnerable position absolutely.

I would put some pants on him if kids are regularly commenting. Even yiung ones modesty needs protecting too.

Why do people always call victim blaming at the merest suggestion that sometimes; the onus is on you to at least try to keep yourself safe?
In an ideal world it wouldn't be necessary, but we don't live in Utopia, unfortunately.
You wouldn't go on a fortnights holiday and leave your front door open; even though the (inevitable) burglar would be the one in the wrong, would you?

Flogging

Spot on

I don't have a problem with nakedness but I also would laugh off comments kids made. Adults might be different. I prefer to cover up than use sun cream so DS wore a full length UV suit. once toilet trained a long sleeved uv top and calf length board shorts. even at age 9 he wears this.

Also if a child is NOT reliably potty trained they should have a nappy on in all public areas imo. your own house, garden fine. beyond that not fine.

Dixie, it's a bit unkind of you to post on this thread really. Your name is sure to upset the OP.

I will hold my hand up and say that I don't like toddlers wandering around naked, I accept that I am on my own but we do exist!!

I am with you landrover.

Even if it was illegal for children to be naked in public there would be just as many paedophiles, refusing to let your child be naked because of paedophiles is irrational. Children are more at risk from paedophiles in their family and family friend network, far better to teach children about consent and appropriate touching from the get go and to make sure they know to tell you about anything that has made them feel uncomfortable or confused.

Alan

It's about taking photos or using images of your child

They'll get them/make them regardless. To let that possibility stop you allowing your child a bit of air on their privates is irrational. A paedophile is as likely to find a child in a swimsuit as appealing.