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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Dd wants a chin and boob job :(

44 replies

TaylorQuifft · 02/08/2015 18:26

My dd 17, 18 in a few weeks wants to get two cosmetic surgeries, a boob and chin implant.

She has been saving since 16 and worked every saturday and half day sunday and now is £400 away from affording the surgeries. She has picked a surgeon. She has always been insecure with her chest and chin.

She has asked for the £400 for her birthday present, aibu to give her the money.

OP posts:

SaucyJack · 02/08/2015 18:29

It's entirely up to you I guess.

At the rate she's saving, it's almost certain she'll be having the procedures done with or without your approval anyway.

Can you afford £400?

Original poster

TaylorQuifft · 02/08/2015 18:30

Yes Saucy, she said no party or meal just £400. It upsets me though as I see the surgeries as unnessary.

OP posts:

Birdsgottafly · 02/08/2015 18:30

Are you helping her research that she will get the results that she wants.

Also the complications etc.

My DDs friend had surgery at 19, on her nose and s boob job, she's never regretted either, she's 31 now.

Are you in the UK?

penny13610 · 02/08/2015 18:32

Eighteen is too young, her body has probably not stopped changing.
Try and persuade her to wait until she is at least 21.
Don't give her the money, consider some support for her accepting her looks; counselling, make up lesson, stylist anything you think will help.

Original poster

TaylorQuifft · 02/08/2015 18:34

I am going to the booked consultation. I looked at the surgeon and hes well qualified.

OP posts:

Original poster

TaylorQuifft · 02/08/2015 18:34

Yes in Uk

OP posts:

ImperialBlether · 02/08/2015 18:35

What's wrong with her chin?

namechange4this123 · 02/08/2015 18:36

How do you feel about plastic surgery? Have you ever had any yourself?

18 is very young to have cosmetic surgery, in particular the boob surgery as she may still be developing, and may want to have children, and pregnancy could change her shape, and it may affect breast feeding.

I personally would not give her the money. If she's saved up that fast, if she is really keen she will reach her target without your help anyway.

Birdsgottafly · 02/08/2015 18:38

What's your opinion on her chin?

It's good that you are going to the appointment, have you done your own research?

The surgeon may try to persuade her to wait, but the danger is that realistically she wouldn't need your £400, if she opts to go abroad.

You've got to make a show of supporting her.

namechange4this123 · 02/08/2015 18:38

Also for what it's worth, I used to have small boobs, but went up 3 cup sizes between the ages of 18 and now (mid 20s). There is hope!

SweetAndFullOfGrace · 02/08/2015 18:38

If she plans to make a living from her looks then it might be justifiable. If her interests lie elsewhere then it's a complete waste of money. I had terrible bodily self esteem as a teenager as well (like many teenaged girls), and yet miraculously without any surgery I gained self esteem in my twenties. Tell her to spend the money on a gap year instead.

Sallystyle · 02/08/2015 18:39

I might be reluctant to pay for a boob job for my teen daughter if she just wanted a nicer set of boobs, but I might if she was completely flat chested or had severe asymmetrical breasts or something.

Chin.. again, depends on the severity of the problem.

It would also depends on how much it was affecting her confidence.

YANBU to help her if that is what you want to do. She is obviously very determined to get it done and has worked hard for it. What I would personally do would depends on many factors.

Original poster

TaylorQuifft · 02/08/2015 18:40

She says she has a weak chin, i dont thinks there is anything wrong with that.

OP posts:

IAmSashaFierce · 02/08/2015 18:41

I'd give her the money, on the proviso I could be more involved (attend appointments/meet surgeon etc).

If she's been saving for nearly 2 years I'd have thought she is pretty set on it.

However, I do think of plastic surgery as a perfectly good option if you're unhappy with your looks.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 02/08/2015 18:41

I have teenage and older ds's and haven't had the worries that many parents go through with their dc's so can't offer practical advice.

I would be worried that she may be on the slippery slope of finding fault with other areas of her body and face after this surgery, if it's successful and done to her requirements.

Spartans · 02/08/2015 18:41

Do you think she has researched it enough? Do you think (even though you don't agree) that she is making a well thought out decision?

Imnotbeingyourbestfriendanymor · 02/08/2015 18:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Spartans · 02/08/2015 18:44

It's not really about wether you think there is anything wrong with a weak chin. If she does, that's the problem.

I am assuming from your wording that she does have a weak chin and that's a problem for her.

ImperialBlether · 02/08/2015 18:45

Does she want a breast enlargement?

Do you agree she has a weak chin but think she shouldn't have the operation?

Has she been teased about it?

Original poster

TaylorQuifft · 02/08/2015 18:47

SanDiego thats my worrying, nose next then something else. Cosmetic surgery can be addictive. Its not the research its the fact thats its a lot of money, risks, and its permenent.

OP posts:

VerityWaves · 02/08/2015 18:51

I say good for her. I would be supportive. She's saved up researched the surgeon herself. Smart girl.
I had a facial procedure at 30 I wish to God Id done it at 19 best thing I ever did.

TheHouseOnBellSt · 02/08/2015 18:53

Has she looked into braces to correct her chin? My DD has a weak chin because she has an overbite..

Spartans · 02/08/2015 18:54

The thing is if you don't give her the money, she isn't faar off saving the £400 herself and at that point she can choose not to involve you at all.

I really don't know what you should do. But this isn't a flash in the pan decision for her. Personally I think I would give her the money and be involved. And make sure she is doing everything she should.

I had surgery by the time I was 21, I didn't get addicted. If that does happen to her, it is more likely to be worse with out your support.

Coffeethrowtrampbitch · 02/08/2015 18:57

I'd normally say you should try and make sure she has done her research, because I'd be uneasy if my DD wanted to do this.

However I've just remembered a friend of mine who had corrective surgery on her jaw at 18. She had a large 'hooked' chin and had surgery which was also partially cosmetic to reduce and move her jaw.

She was so,so happy afterwards. Very confident, new boyfriend, totally happy with life. She was a wonderful person before, but with confidence she enjoyed her life so much more.

If your DD is like my friend, she has thought about this, saved for it and made her own decision, and I think you should support it. I might suggest she have the two procedures separately, as perhaps she will feel more confident with a reshaped chin and won't choose to have a boob job if she feels happier.

But I think you have to support her in this, she wouldn't have done so much toward having surgery unless she felt really unhappy, and if you interfere she will only think you want her to remain unhappy.

Naoko · 02/08/2015 19:06

I'm all for anyone doing whatever they want to their body, for all that I'd never have cosmetic surgery myself for anything I simply didn't like (if I had an accident and could get scarring removed, that'd be different, I think) but she is so very young :/ Especially the boob job. I was very modestly chested at 18. Five years later I was very curvy indeed. Is there any way you could persuade her to wait some?

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