To wonder why some people die early

[pinktrufflechoc]

It does seem to be the case that so many people are totally and completely healthy and then they die and are not often when they're quite young.

Yet really frail people who you'd almost expect to die sooner live well into their 90s.

I dunno. It's weird isn't it?

BTW I didn't RTFT. But it gives me the rage that the govt keep saying 'Everyone is living longer'. Feck off, it', it's unlikely I will live to old age - despite sharing my uncle's lineage.

As devastating as my dads loss was - 2 years and 6 days ago - I am glad it was quick and he didn't suffer.
I miss him like a physical pain, but I am glad that I didn't have to watch him waste away or disappear into dementia like his brother and sister did :(
I don't suppose I will ever get over the shock of it. Giving CPR to a loved one is pretty horrific.

Its morbid but I can't see myself making it much past 50.

There are a lot of undiagnosed conditions such as heart conditions which kill off a surprising number of otherwise healthy young people. My family on both sides has a lot of serious illnesses like cancers, strokes, heart diseases, parkinsons, muscular diseases, brain deteriorating etc also addictions, depression, mental health issues so I am now thinking of my life in terms of 3-5 years and consider myself very lucky if I live a healthy life until my DS is an adult and anything extra will be a bonus. Would love to be healthy until I die peacefully in my sleep at 105 years old but I just don't think that will happen. More likely will be battling several long and severe illnesses for many years and die before 50.

I'm reading a history book at the moment and one of the things that it touches on is life expectancy and it mentioned that although overall as a population, people are living longer than ever before, there were always individuals who lived to old age; even in medieval times it was not abnormal for people to live into their 80s and 90s. It wasn't 'the norm' but then it's not even really 'the norm' now to live to your late 80s. Just thought it was an interesting thought.

And of course, conversely it has always been the case that some have, sadly, died young.

For the year I was born LE is 75.9

It's not the norm to live until your late 80s in the Uk but it is the norm to live until your early 80s. The average age at death is about 82, and it's likely to be older than that for us lot.

That is vastly different to the average age of death in previous centuries, despite a few outliers making it to very old age.

thecat that's exactly what I meant. That the average life expectancy is higher but that some individuals always have lived to old age.

And the 'average' life expectancy centuries ago was much lower because so many children didn't make it to adulthood. But if you did make it to adulthood you had a similar outlook to the modern age in terms of how long you could expect to live.

I dunno. It sucks. Lost my (older) partner at 59. Lost my Mum at 59. Uncle passed away 62. Just discovered someone I knew at uni has also gone. It's just life, I guess. My grans are both still alive. One is 93 and is utterly gaga, with dementia. One is very nearly 100 and although compus mentus, hasn't been outside for more than ten years, with osteoporosis...

Dementia is a cruel illness.

I wonder how the NHS will cope with it for my generation.

Mumoftwoyoungkids, that is shocking, hard to get your head around. I think it's the being there and seemingly healthy one minute then gone the next. What was the illness he died from, if you don't mind me asking?

Pinktruffle, I am sorry to hear about your dad, I know how you feel. Lost mine in January, he was only 63. I hate the thought of life without him now and nothing feels right.

My very healthy Husband - really took care of himself (Diet, Exercise etc)

Always said it would mean he would live to a ripe old age.

He died of Cancer at 53

The people I know that have died young/my age have died of;
Alcoholism
Drowning
Brain haemorrhage
Suicide
Car crash
Head injury
Cancer

I think my dad had a heart attack but I'm still not totally sure.

I often wonder, the people who say "it's fate" and meaningless platitudes like "when your numbers up, your numbers up", do they bother to look left and right when they cross the road? Because if it's fate and when your numbers up, your numbers up, there is really no point.

But of course they do look when they cross the road. Because we all know that taking precautions and doing the right thing can increase your chances of a long life. Not smoking, eating healthy etc, it's no guarantee of a long life but statistically, you give yourself a better chance.

Also, if you do get struck down with cancer or something else terrible, being fit and healthy going into treatment must surely give you a better chance of getting out the other side alive. Again with no guarantees. But a better chance.

People often say "he was super fit, didn't drink or smoke but dropped dead at 38". Maybe if he hadn't been super fit, he would have dropped dead at 28. Being super fit might have bought him an extra 10 years.

I don't think anyone means that.

Just trying to make sense of it.

My father's family are a case in point. They all enjoy robust good health until around 70 and then drop dead, despite being the sort of people who you would think would live to very old age.

My father died of cancer - very healthy until 70, then had cancer, was successfully treated, only to get another form completely unrelated. again successfully treated, then a third cancer unrelated to the others killed him before he was 75.

It's as if he had an in- built timer that had decided his time was up and that was it. His brother also survived cancer in his 60s only to die of an unexpected heart problem before he was 70. His parents dropped dead from heart attacks at about the same age, with no warning and no previous problems.

My mother in contrast has had numerous serious health problems all her life, but has now out lived my father.

I do know what you mean OP. My dad was generally healthy, bit of a heart problem but nothing unusual.

My 2 uncles (aunts' husbands so no genetic link), people would say they wouldn't make old bones.

1: an alcoholic, aneurysm that couldn't be operated on due to various other serious health issues

2: Serious heart problem could give out at any time, stroke.

No prizes for guessing which of these 3 went first. Early 60s.

I have a theory that I keep meaning to collect data on - in my local paper the ages of deaths are often late 50s, early 60s, mid to late 80s and 90s. Rarely 70s.

Sorry for all your losses.

Another anecdote to add; my stepfather and his six siblings are all obese and have been since their youth - at that time it was unusual. The youngest must now be 60-odd, the oldest in their 80s. Their mum was also morbidly obese for most of her adult life and lived to be over 90. Their father was very slim and died thirty years ago aged around 70.

I know it's just the same as the "my grandad smoked 60 a day and lived to be 100" thing but . . . it's the whole family. Well apart from the one member who looked healthy.

According to this www.theguardian.com/society/2015/apr/07/life-expectancy-falls-older-uk-women-public-health-england life expectancy is falling.

I'm sure I've read before that the lifestyles of millennial DCs may mean they die before their parents. We have better medical care to keep sick old people alive but that isn't making up for the effects of obesity, sedentary lives, diabetes, stress etc that are so commonplace for today's young people.

Have lost a few friends in last few years, all young, mainly my age,
to cancer (two friends), drowning, and in the last few weeks, paragliding. Of the last two, it's hard to get my head around but I guess the law of probability would apply. The more you do of a dangerous sport/hobby/ job, the likelihood of an accident (or worse) is. Someone told me,(to try and put it into perspective) that if you drive for a living, of course you are more likely to have a road accident than Mr or Mrs Average. This makes sense to me but doesn't take away the shock. The last two were all round 'action men' and seemed invincible. Some comfort I guess that both lived life to the full and died doing what they loved. But still a complete shock. but yes there are ways to increase the risk of a premature death as this shows. The two who had cancer, it seems more 'unfair' because it was more of an unlucky lottery. Then again, most people who wild swim or paraglide/motor don't die either.. but you know the risks are there. Doing e.g. paragliding every day for over 20 years... there is a high chance.. it is a dangerous sport, no matter how careful and professional you are (or the chance equipment will fail). Re the cancer, i felt very angry for a long time, and still do re friend who died last year of it. But not angry at any person,

I honestly thought all my friends would get into their 60's and imagined ourselves as old ladies. So it has been a shock that that is not the case. And it is not those who live the most unhealthily who have died.

Silverbirch, I don't find myself 'smirking' at my 34 year old brother's eath certificate, nor my 51 year old aunts. Both completely out of the blue, I hate the phrase 'it was just their time'. No, it wasn't. And it doesn't help with the pain of missing them everyday.