to be so gutted about losing out on this break?

[JammyGem]

Was supposed to be going to France next week to meet DP's parents for the first time. It was going to be a nice break for us both as well as things have been a bit tough recently for both of us.

DP told me last night thatched doesn't want me to come with him anymore. His parents are quite ill and he doesn't think they'll cope. Which.is completely fair enough and I understand completely, but I'm so gutted.

I'm being selfish I know, and I hope his parents get better. But I'm so disappointed - I really wanted to meet them, I wanted to get on with them, and I wanted the break away from everything.

I'm on a zero hours contract so put myself as unavailable for the two weeks, and now the rota is set in stone so I'm missing out on work when money is tight enough as it is. I can't afford to do anything else so I'll be sat at home for two weeks.

I'm being so selfish but I'm just so upset. Tell me I'm being unreasonable so I can feel better about it all.

[FunnyNameHere]

I know I've already said my opinion. But I don't think a holiday is what you need right now. You only want a holiday because your real-life is stressful; spend the time improving your real life (getting a better job, being able to move in with DP, meeting new people, making friends) and then every day will feel like a holiday!

[2rebecca]

I think expecting to stay with a couple of frail elderly people you have never met as a treat type of holiday is extremely unrealistic. Your partner probably realises that when he's visiting his parents he'll be looking after them, doing odd jobs around the house etc. I doubt that he viewed visiting them as the nice break you seem to have been expecting.
I'd just have a week at home doing nice things. Can't you visit your own relatives if you want some company?

[LostMySocks]

Even if you can't get a refund on full flight ticket you should be able to get tax back. Call the airline

[CheeseandPickledOnion]

That's difficult OP, I can understand why you were upset. We feel how we feel...

It sounds like his parents at the last minute just felt they were too ill to accommodate you. And while both he and you are upset, it's possible their illness means they prefer you to not be around while they are that ill. Some illness can be undignified and they may have understandably chosen to not want you to experience that the first time you met them.

[JammyGem]

Update:

My parents were pretty upset when I told them and they had started looking at hotels and places to stay, with the intention of me paying them back whenever I could, and that way I still get a break but there's no pressure for DP per his parents to meet up and spend time with me.

We found a lovely cheap place on airBnB today, and having checked with DP about the area and whether he was happy for me to do that I was going to book it as soon as I got home from work. Just as I was about to head home, I was surprised to see DP running at me (having finished work several hours earlier) asking me if I'd booked it yet. Apparently he'd spoken to his parents and told them the plan, they've had a change of heart and have said as long as I'm aware that they're not in the best of health they really want me to stay with them, as long as I'm happy to help around the house (which I was planning to do anyway), and they'd much rather meet me and have me stay with them than staying in a room in the nearest city, as was the plan.

I was a bit worried because I don't want to stress them out further if they're ill, but DP is adamant that they really want to meet me and for me to stay, and that they had just been embarrassed before at the thought of not being able to treat me like a "proper guest" (which I hadn't expected anyway)

I can't believe after all this that I'll actually be going after all, I can't wait to meet his family

[JammyGem]

Sorry, posted before I meant to...

It's just going to be brilliant to get away from England for a while, to really test my language skills, to meet his family (and I really hope they like me!) and to help them out doing odd jobs and stuff. It's going to be great, I'm so happy, and thank you to everyone for all your advice and offers, you've been fantastic.

[onedayiwillmissthis]

that's lovely news

[Degustibusnonestdisputandem]

Aww, what a lovely outcome both they and you sounds lovely.

[MyNameIsInigoMontoya]

Hurray!

[Enjoyingthepeace]

I feel sorry for you OP. And I also feel sorry for your partner.

[Enjoyingthepeace]

Oh wonderful!

[ListenWillYou]

Oh brilliant. I love a happy ending. Have a great trip. I'm sure you will be a lovely houseguest.

[StrawberryMojito]

Brilliant, such a good outcome.

[sandgrown]

Have a fab holiday

[Bluecheese22]

Fab! Have a wonderful time, hope you come back feeling all refreshed :-)

[AyeAmarok]

Awww that's a good ending!

Have a lovely break OP, when you get back come and speak to us as the power of MN will help you find a new job

[Geekymeeky]

Why would you want to impose yourself on him and his elderly parents in this way? He had said, please not this time and you want to force and insist on accompanying him? To what end? Don't do it.

[Floggingmolly]

She's been invited, Geeky...

[SmokingGun]

Geeky have you been reading the same thread that I have? The OP was not forcing herself on the family in anyway, she was going to have her own holiday in the same country and now DP's family have said not to do that, to stay with them.

Don't try and knock her down by suggesting that after all this she should turn them down, that really isn't fair of you.

Have a lovely holiday OP

[fastdaytears]

Geeky she hasn't insisted on anything and she had a perfectly sensible alternative.

OP I'm so pleased for you. Come back and tell us what a fantastic break you had please!

[GoblinLittleOwl]

One has to admire your persistence, and determination, to have this holiday, whatever the inconvenience to other people.
I am sure you will enjoy yourself.

[Salmotrutta]

I must admit I agree with Goblin - two elderly parents, both ill, one in and out of hospital getting tests and they now appear to have been somewhat guilt tripped into having the OP to stay in their house.

And as I posted earlier - they may have wanted private time with their son to discuss their health issues which may be serious.

And again, look at the threads where ILs want to come and stay after an OP has a baby etc. - the wrath of MNers at the mere suggestion.

I don't understand opinions on here sometimes

[Salmotrutta]

Meant to add - the OP is a stranger to this elderly ill couple too which would make me feel very uncomfortable if I was ill in my house and feeling vulnerable.

OP may not have insisted exactly that she stay at their house but I can imagine she allowed her disappointment to show a lot to her DP.