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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Can I ask what was your cut off age for ttc your last child?

149 replies

FragrantBreeze · 27/07/2015 21:45

Am really interested in this!

I'm 36 and would like to ttc number 3.

Sadly I've just had a MMC so I'm wondering if ttc is a good idea. I'm do feel fit, healthy and young but wonder if my body agrees!

The miscarriage has really thrown me. I've had two straightforward pregnancies with dc1&2, now 2 and 7 months.

Would appreciate honest opinions on this.

Thanks

OP posts:

letshopetheyallgeton · 28/07/2015 13:58

40 was cut off date, after some MC history. Obs says there are loads older under his care....

tomatodizzymum · 28/07/2015 14:04

38 but now I am 38 I would say 40 would be my cutoff. I am not ttc anymore but I think 40 is fine if you are healthy and fit.

tomatodizzymum · 28/07/2015 14:06

just read that you have a 7 month old, so you might want to give your body a break for a bit longer. A miscarriage will knock you and make you question things, that's normal and remember they can happen at any age.

Candlefairy101 · 28/07/2015 14:13

Your hormones must be all over them place OP, 2.5 and a 7 month old and a miscarriage sorry OP. Maybe don't plan so there's no disappointment just go with the flow and if you fall pregnant again then this will be an up ,

I started having children at 20, I already had my career and said I wanted children young so my cut off would be 27 x

Frumpplump · 28/07/2015 14:17

I didn't want to be pregnant after I turned 24. Dc2 is due 3 weeks before I turn 23. I don't want anymore after dc2 and neither does dh.

PlainHunting · 28/07/2015 14:21

40 after having a complicated miscarriage. Was strongly advised against any further pregnancies. Am very broody now though at 43

findingherfeet · 28/07/2015 14:28

It was meant to be 30 but I'm 31 with two children (3 and 1) and we're seriously considering our 3rd.

I don't want a big gap nor do I want primary age kids in my 50s ..I'm now saying 34 (35 to have actually had baby) but who knows, life doesn't always adhere to plans.

HazleNutt · 28/07/2015 14:35

I'm not planning to have any more (had them at 34 and 36, both extremely easy pregnancies). But if I got pregnant accidentally, I don't think there would be any age where I would terminate purely because I think I'm too old.

ArriveOnTime · 28/07/2015 14:52

Sorry for your loss.

35 for us but had twins at 32 so we were finished then.

Blueskies80 · 28/07/2015 14:59

Op I am in a v similar position. First sorry for your mmc loss. Am 35 with two dcs (4 and 2). Had a mmc in April. I'm 35. I wanted to be done by 35. However hoping to try again once recovered from the mmc. It's a brutal experience so take your time- 36 is ok. You've got a lot on with two close together (know the feeling as ours are 19 months apart).My personal cut off will be 37. Would love dc3 but given previous infertility for years before dc1 I don't want to continue this stage for too long (it's pretty heartbreaking I find). Good luck xxx

TrickyKid · 28/07/2015 15:02

It would've been 35 for me. I had my last one at 34.

EponasWildDaughter · 28/07/2015 15:07

My first cut off date was 28, just after i had DC3. Decided i'd never ever have any more DCs.

Divorced and remarried in my late 30s, wanted to have a child with new DH, so new cut off date became 45!

Had DD4 at 44

You never know what's round the corner OP. Never say never.
for your MC.

Groovee · 28/07/2015 15:08

I didn't have a cut off age but I didn't a large gap between my children, so made sure it wouldn't be past did being 3 and a half.

StregaNona · 28/07/2015 15:13

My mental cut-off for me was 35 to have last child - had a miscarriage and ended up missing my deadline by six weeks. This is because I knew my mum went into menopause aged 42, that both my aunts had had hysterectomies before the age of forty and that my only female cousin who is older was already having fertility issues.

This did lead me to having my babies earlier than was necessarily wise in terms of finances, etc, but it seems to have worked out now they are older. There were some hairy watching-every-penny years in the middle there though.

Gillian1980 · 28/07/2015 15:34

Sorry for your loss OP.

My vague cut off age is about 45? I'm nearly 36 and we're just starting our family - DD1 due this week. Ideally we'd like to have either 2 or 3 children if we can, with about 3-4 years between each.

Jackiebrambles · 28/07/2015 15:41

I've just had my second at 38. Had my first at 36 - I knew I didn't want to leave it too long to have my second due to my age so I suppose there was a bit of a cut off in my head. If I hadn't been pregnant again by 40 (dh 42) we probably would have given up and stuck with one. So i guess 40 was my mental cut off!

I feel fine energy-wise, except in late pregnancy with a toddler, but i defy a younger woman to not be exhausted by that!!

TinnedAslan · 28/07/2015 16:08

Had mine unplanned at 38 and 40

Healthy, straightforward pregnancies, one hospital birth, one chosen home birth.

Then conceived whilst on contraception (patch) age 45.

I do come from a large family though - my Mum had 18 siblings, yet one of my siblings is barren.

I'm not TTC, but if my partner wanted children with me I'd jump at it. I'd love to have a last baby and being 47 in the autumn wouldn't put me off, despite the miscarriage last year.

Financially though, it couldn't work for me as a lone parent with no live-in partner, particularly as the government are scrapping Child Tax Credit for 3rd babies now.

36 is still young. My nan was still having babies right up until she was almost 50.

goldierocks · 28/07/2015 16:45

I had my one-and-only DS aged 26.
I was in an accident in the very early stages of pregnancy and fractured my spine. It wasn't picked up until after my son was born because I couldn't have an x-ray or scan.
I was diagnosed incorrectly with SPD.
Although my 'plumbing' still worked, the surgical repair and metalwork in my back meant I could never carry another baby to anywhere near term.
I was sterilized at 28.
I feel very lucky indeed to have DS. It was still surprising how many people thought it 'wasn't fair' that he would be an only child. Not like I could help it! Thankfully he cousins who live across the road and as DN is only a month younger, they are very close.

starkers1 · 28/07/2015 17:03

OP and 3littlebadgers so sorry for your losses, 3little- so glad you are now pg again. I'd also like 3, have my first- he's now 20 months and am 34, so all going well would ideally like TTC no2. soon then have 3rd 36/37...but as everyone else says things like this don't always go to plan.

Have no idea how long it will take for 2nd or 3rd if we are that lucky so no idea how i'd feel, think Id be pretty determined to keep trying whatever/however old though... xx

chancer2014 · 28/07/2015 17:24

Last child when I was 42.

Indantherene · 28/07/2015 18:04

Was a few months shy of 44 when I had the last one.

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 28/07/2015 18:45

Probably 40ish for me. By then the age gap between DD and the next would be 16 years. My mum had her last a 41, they left it up to nature as to whether they'd have a child.

pommedeterre · 28/07/2015 18:48

I was 33 when I fell pg with dc3 (deffo last dc!). I didn't have a cut off but dh was adamant that he didn't want to have a child under two when he turned 40.

As it stands ds will turn two 11 days before dh turns 40

FirstWeTakeManhattan · 28/07/2015 18:51

41 (one year ago), but I'm wondering if I can squeeze just one more in now, 'cos babies are gorgeous kisses baby head for millionth time

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