AIBU - my friend pinched a boy

[mamasilla]

My friends and I took all kids to a soft play area today. After 10 mins one of the kids came crying to us saying that another boy had punched him as he wanted to take a toy of him, he identified the kid to us so we decided to keep a closer eye. Five mins later the same happened to my girl. I went over to where the mom was with her friends and asked her to keep an eye as this boy was upsetting the rest. When the mom dismissed my point I pointed out that it would be very unpleasant if one of our kids punched him back. She said that her kid knows how to look after himself (the boy must have been 4 or 5 years old). When it happened the third time one of my friends reacted and pinched (not punched) the offending kid on the arm (his mum continued to be oblivious).
The debate then started, was she being unreasonable? I'd be interested in hearing your views!

You've never smacked him? Is this semantics now? At 18.17 you posted this: My son bit me, I bit him back. My son slapped me I slapped him back and told him that its not nice to do that and explained why.

I feel happier knowing you're a liar, at least the whole thing may be rubbish. Over and out, I'm in bed with my hot choc and phone is going off.

Biting your child is not the act of a good parent.
To use your own language it is act of a fucking bad parent and its a fucking awful thing to do

here we go.. splitting hairs again. I said up thread that I have never smacked him for a punishment. There is a big difference between slapping him if he slapped me and biting him if he bit me to "Show" him it hurt and explain why, or cant you actually see that Best?

Now you are calling me a liar.

do none of you get the context? do you not read and understand what I said? are you all rather robotic in your reactions?

best her whole posts are littered with contradictions. I think she has drank too much. Enjoy your hot choc I'm off too.

My gob is thoroughly smacked by this thread.

crusts, so you've not smacked your DS but you've slapped him back?

I don't for one minute think you're 100% comfortable that you're right. If you thought you were right, you wouldn't be repeatedly minimising it by saying 'a little nip' instead of 'bite'.

As a PP said, you may well succeed in teaching a child that it hurts by biting/slapping/hitting them back, but you're failing to teach them that it's wrong. You can tell them it's wrong, and why, but by doing it to them you're undermining your words and telling them that it's ok sometimes.

My posts say exactly the same thing. Dont presume because I had a glass of wine that I drank too much Tequila.

Whilst you're off to bed think on about your approach to threads and the passive aggressive manner in which you deliver them.

I never ever get nasty, nor do I ever post in a passive aggressive manner

Do you not understand that your methods are not okay and are not normal and that for many are examples of really crap parenting techniques?

As a self proclaimed childcare worker it is staggering you are unaware of how unacceptable such behaviours are.

Neither of us like each others postings sooty. Im fine with that.

Lavendar. I have a professional head and a home/social head that fits when and if.. as we all do.. so im not sure you really need to keep on.

A whole thread where the OP doesn't come back to post or respond in anyway.

So with your two heads, do you believe that your own children have less value than those you care for?

I assume that if a child in your care had a bite mark you would report it, no?

what on earth are you on about singsong? I work with kids and love them dearly and on a professional level of course I wouldnt do what I do as a parent. I also have no idea what you mean by causing a bite mark? I said that I would nip not friggin bite! Is there no sensible people here that can actually take things in context?

I just know im going to be hit on where i said i wouldnt do as i would as a parent.

At work then there is a certain strict protocol that is adhered to, its a working environment. Home and normality and your own parenting skills come to the fore, and guess what! my son is a fantastic kid, I wonder why. Could it be me?

What precisely is the difference between a nip and a bite?

I bit him back when he bit me
Did you not say this?

I wouldn't worry about it crusts, I understand what you are trying to say, if only we were all perfect parents ay?

Of course theres a difference, why on earth do you not think there is? Do you not think that an adult can control themselves then? do you not think an adult can show a child that a bite hurts by actually showing him with a nip? Do you seriously not get it?

I hear you notnow.

It seems her memory's questionable too.

If you're just nipping, you're not actually showing him that biting hurts.

The5- she actually said that she bites him when he bites her earlier on.

Must just add that I've never been bitten, hit, kicked, slapped or otherwise abused by my child and funnily enough, have never behaved that way towards her either.
Gentle parenting brings gentle children. Who knew hey?!?

Oh, I know Sing . But after changing it to 'nipped' to minimise it and insisting there's a difference, I'm curious about what she thinks nipping teaches a child about biting.

I have more than one job NOT. So im not sure why you wish to spy on me?