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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU - my friend pinched a boy

351 replies

mamasilla · 26/07/2015 14:48

My friends and I took all kids to a soft play area today. After 10 mins one of the kids came crying to us saying that another boy had punched him as he wanted to take a toy of him, he identified the kid to us so we decided to keep a closer eye. Five mins later the same happened to my girl. I went over to where the mom was with her friends and asked her to keep an eye as this boy was upsetting the rest. When the mom dismissed my point I pointed out that it would be very unpleasant if one of our kids punched him back. She said that her kid knows how to look after himself (the boy must have been 4 or 5 years old). When it happened the third time one of my friends reacted and pinched (not punched) the offending kid on the arm (his mum continued to be oblivious).
The debate then started, was she being unreasonable? I'd be interested in hearing your views!

OP posts:
crustsaway · 26/07/2015 23:47

Do not get personal on this Notnow. How dare you mention my son.

I dont have to work out an answer i have already given sing. I have an opinion and i stick by it. You have chosen to take it out of context.

The5DayChicken · 26/07/2015 23:49

crusts...I am genuinely curious and you're keeping me in suspense. What does 'nipping' teach about biting?

Singsongsung · 26/07/2015 23:50

Crusts- seriously now, in what way have I taken your statement that you bite your child if he bites you out of context?

crustsaway · 26/07/2015 23:51

Im an honest person that said there is a way to show a child not to bite by actually doing it back and explained why.

Many on here have actually been despicably nasty in the sheer pretence of caring. Shame on you.

It really doesnt bother me... you just show how awful you are.

Notnowdarling01 · 26/07/2015 23:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Singsongsung · 26/07/2015 23:53

Crusts- with all due respect, biting a child teaches them only to bite. It teaches them that the biggest bite wins. It teaches them a very confusing mix of "biting hurts so I'll hurt you cause I can".

It's appalling parenting, considered abusive and yes, if you know anything at all about childcare, you should know that.
I urge you, if a child ever appears in your setting with bite marks you should report it immediately.

crustsaway · 26/07/2015 23:54

you have actually back checked and practically called me a troll.. Grin

look at what you have done in the morning and reflect.

get a grip.

get a life.

be normal.

Singsongsung · 26/07/2015 23:55

Crusts- again, with as much respect as I can muster, the person who needs to reflect on their behaviours is you. It is not "normal" to bite, pinch or otherwise hurt your child. It is abusive.

The5DayChicken · 26/07/2015 23:56

Ah, the suspense is killing me. I can only imagine you're refusing to respond to any of my questions because the answers make you uncomfortable.

crustsaway · 26/07/2015 23:57

Sing. No it doesnt. In the context I was saying, it really doesnt.

Now, if a parent uses their hands or whatever to constantly chastise then of course that would.

crustsaway · 27/07/2015 00:00

are you referring to me chicken? I have more than enough questions going on. I cant actually answer in any other way than i already have.

Did you know that the definition of madness is to ask the same question and expect a different answer.

Notnowdarling01 · 27/07/2015 00:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Singsongsung · 27/07/2015 00:03

Crusts- in any context you like biting a child to inflict pain (which you had to do to express your message) is abusive. There is no contextualising a bite as far as a child is concerned.

crustsaway · 27/07/2015 00:05

I dont need to reflect on my behaviour at all sing.

For clarity...

After an initial muck about when i was laughing, i said....

I would give a nip to a child that bit me, I have done that to my son and it stopped him serial biting because at the age of 1 he really didnt know any better, so "

EmiliaJ · 27/07/2015 00:05

Good on her, the little brat might think twice before doing it again. As for my children, no one, and I mean no one lays hands on them, not even another child. Now I'm not saying I'd do the same thing, but who knows, if a child walked up to one of my kids and punched them clear in the face then yes, I would probably drag them to their parent/s and give them both a piece of my mind, wrong or not, I do not care.

crustsaway · 27/07/2015 00:06

showing him it hurt he never did it again.

I stand by this.

Notnowdarling01 · 27/07/2015 00:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

The5DayChicken · 27/07/2015 00:07

You haven't answered me at all crusts. What does nipping teach about biting?

LittleLionMansMummy · 27/07/2015 00:08

He was 1 crusts???!! Jeez. You said you wouldn't bite a baby but he was one!!

crustsaway · 27/07/2015 00:09

Another voice of reason... this kid bit the other one time and time again, the parent didnt give a shit.

A nip on the arm was the way to go in that instance.

Notnowdarling01 · 27/07/2015 00:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

crustsaway · 27/07/2015 00:11

oh give it a rest. He was probably nearly two, whos counting the months... get a grip.

crustsaway · 27/07/2015 00:12

minimising what?

are you coming from a place of abuse? if so, im very sorry but im not.

LittleLionMansMummy · 27/07/2015 00:13

Then I will assume you are in fact the wind up merchant you appear to be. I will sleep more soundly for bowing out of this fiasco with that thought in mind because the alternative is truly terrifying. Good night all.

The5DayChicken · 27/07/2015 00:17

Night LittleLion. Perhaps there will be clarity in the morning. Or perhaps 'nipping' will be further minimised to simply 'talking with teeth'. Wink

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