To ask what constitutes a big spend that needs you to discuss with your other half in your house?

[DoeEyedNear]

Do you have a monetary limit or specific items that you feel must be discussed with your partner before purchasing?

Aibu to think spending £1000 without discussing it with your partner isn't on?

YANBU

I am non earning, although we have joint finances which I run. All money into joint account and DH and I both get an 'allowance' into our own account for free spends on ourselves.

our month's income is about £3k and I wouldn't spend more than £200 on a single item that would be for the whole families' benefit without discussion.

If it was an item personal to me only I would save up for it myself out of my 'allowance' (£200 per month). I do not expect DH to fund my flights of fancy! admittedly I cant think of a single item worth £1k that I would buy!

there is no way I could look myself in the mirror if I spent a month's salary on something for me without consulting DH. in fact, I cant think of a situation where I would even ask as to me that is just unaffordable no matter how much I want it - and your finances are tighter than ours.

you and your DH need to have a serious talk.

wait, x-post - he took out a loan without consulting you???

YAB even less U now! that is so far wrong!

its a very slippery slope, a friend did this and when his wife found out she divorced him - such an abuse of trust!

In this house if we want to buy a big purchase (€100+) we discuss it first. It's not about asking permission, it's more about budgeting for the purchase. We're on a tight budget and a big purchase in the wrong month (a month where we've lots of bills to pay) or at the wrong time of the month (DH is paid monthly and it's always a bit tight the last few days) could send us into the red.

Yanbu! We discuss anything over roughly £50, but will also usually tell the other if we buy something (ie I got a new dress and top today, spent £40) as it comes out of the joint account and we like to be aware of what's in it, but we don't question each other on what we buy.