Is my au pair useless?

[winewithcakeplease]

AIBU to expect au pair to teach children more?

My main reason for hiring ap is to help my 2 ds (3 and 4yo) learn French. Ap KNOWS this 100%, she isn't here to improve her English, it's already perfect.

They haven't started speaking any more French at all and it's been almost a month! I want her to help them learn French vocabulary by looking at books and pointing at words etc. I know he has tried because since her being here two of our lovely French children's books have been ripped whilst she was with them! They seem to mainly be playing with Lego/ toys which is not what I want as they already know colours, shapes etc.

She needs to speak French even when telling then off- ds2 had accident and she didn't speak French at all throughout dealing with it!

I am really frustrated by all this and really questioning why I've even bothered to have au pair, should I be? Are my hopes too high? And if so, what can I do to make her do her job better!?

[WaggleBee]

I really, really hope this is all true.

[woolymum]

i find kids of that age do like to imitate the mother figure in their life and want to please them the most.

its not the aupairs fault OP. you clearly needed a french nanny and then maybe they would have given a rats

[OTheHugeManatee]

Je n'ai aucun problem with le help domestique si tu as le dosh. Il m'amusait seulement d'imaginer l'effet horrifying de faire le Loud Parenting en Franglais au style du late Kilometres Kington

[wafflyversatile]

Did you post about the exact same thing a week or so ago?

[OnIlkelyMoorBahtat]

"Kilometres Kington"

[Hoppinggreen]

Sackez la chienne!!!!!!!

[OttiliaVonBCup]

Why don't I get to say in a manière breezy "My other staff is taking soin of this"......
Where did it all go wrong?

[TheoriginalLEM]

This is a joke isn't it?? Are you planning on moving to france? or are you just one of those pushy mothers?

[Bettercallsaul1]

Je pense que tout le monde a des forts soupcons que ce thread est un grand wind-up.

[Bettercallsaul1]

Ottilia - c'est parce-ce-que nous n'avons pas assez de dosh. Le monde est un endroit tres unfair a mon avis.

[OttiliaVonBCup]

your other staff is killing me.

I've taken to look with approach at the dogs. Not even they are staff(ies).
A lifelong of wrong choices here.

[londonrach]

I thought au pairs come to improve their language in exchange for childcare. Never knew it was the other way around. Yabu op.

[OTheHugeManatee]

Readez le putain thread, londonrach

[morelikeguidelines]

I have had au pairs for thee years. All lovely in different ways and had been great success in terms of childcare.

It quickly became apparent this was not going to be a route to dcs learning French. Don't ask me why exactly. Probably because a. They are not teachers, b. Although dh is bilingual it is not a childhood language of his and we don't speak French as a rule in the home.

I can understand why you wanted this but it didn't work for me in this respect.

[morelikeguidelines]

Ps j'adore le franglais ici.

Je vien de laughez out loud dans le train.

[Marylou2]

Nooo!! This is a joke, non?? You're disappointed that your AP didn't reprimand your small child in French when he had an accident. Please don't articulate these thoughts to her in either language . You sound unpleasant at best and quite possibly a bit mad.

[ScrumpyBetty]

This thread is hilarious. Funniest thing I have read in ages.

hopping

[Kaekae]

Your child has an accident and you want them reprimanded...and in another language, of which they cannot understand? Wow!

[Brummiegirl15]

Basically you are being tight and wanted a cheap French teacher?

Non?

Priceless.

[PelvicFloorClenchReminder]

I fear that at 3 and 4 you have completely missed the window for mastering the French language and now, well, the best you can hope for is this ~


Your poor children

[Mehitabel6]

At 3or4 yrs old I should think it is the perfect opportunity to do whatever you like when the person in charge is speaking in a language that you don't understand! Probably the au pair realises this and prefers to be in control.

[winewithcakeplease]

I don't really understand why it is so shocking to try and raise dc speaking another language. It's well known that if a child is going to be raised bilingual then 25+ hours exposure is needed at least.

And the point about native speakers failing to raise bilingual children is my exact concern! This is why I wanted AP we DO speak French at home when possible- I am not a native speaker though so it's never quite the same.

And the point about native speakers failing to raise bilingual children is my exact concern! This is why I wanted AP!

I will think I will talk to AP and consider the idea of dc's performance and I appreciate the idea triplegandt and blueshoes.

I guess I am also a bit frustrated with AP on another level too: she came back at almost midnight this evening which was really irritating as the housekeeper had to let her in as ap does not have keys. It is a weekday!

Also she doesn't really seem to be joining in family life- me and dh have all our dinners on trays in front of tv and she never joins, even though I say very directly that she is welcome too- and this happens at least twice a week. There is no room for her when dc eat so she eats all her meals alone...

[Aixoise]

Quelle surprise that the au pair does not want le TV dinners avec toi et tes enfants. Just hope you are watching French TV. Something tells me that she will faire ses valises and repartir en France asap. And staying out till midnight - how dare she?! Very enervant, must be hell. This has got to be a wind up or you are one hell of an entitled nightmare.

[retrorobot]

winewithcakeplease: If you and your dh have all your dinners on trays in front of tv no wonder your au pair does not join you. That sort of dinnertime is unknown in France. French dinnertime is everyone (including 3+4 year olds) around the table chatting and eating together.

Your French is not good enough to raise a bilingual child. That's not a criticism - it's just a statement of fact based on what you have described. My French is pretty good (B1 standard - not fluent) and I certainly wouldn't attempt to raise my children in French, even though my eldest (3) is quite good at languages and is always trying to pick up and use non-English words.

You can complain about your au pair being home at almost midnight tonight but you posted at 23:40 so she must have been home by 23:30 - you seem to have been exaggerating a little! Isn't it your fault for not giving her a set of keys?

[knickernicker]

Keep calm people. OP's having you on.