Is my au pair useless?

[winewithcakeplease]

AIBU to expect au pair to teach children more?

My main reason for hiring ap is to help my 2 ds (3 and 4yo) learn French. Ap KNOWS this 100%, she isn't here to improve her English, it's already perfect.

They haven't started speaking any more French at all and it's been almost a month! I want her to help them learn French vocabulary by looking at books and pointing at words etc. I know he has tried because since her being here two of our lovely French children's books have been ripped whilst she was with them! They seem to mainly be playing with Lego/ toys which is not what I want as they already know colours, shapes etc.

She needs to speak French even when telling then off- ds2 had accident and she didn't speak French at all throughout dealing with it!

I am really frustrated by all this and really questioning why I've even bothered to have au pair, should I be? Are my hopes too high? And if so, what can I do to make her do her job better!?

[Lottieismydog]

Agree with aqushiv. If my child has an accident, I don't tell them off, in any language, I give them, love , support and encouragement. Sounds like you stood by and watched whilst your child was in distress and watched what happened.
Sorry OP your posts are making me cross. It must be me, I don't live in the same world as you.
I am glad you are lucky enough to have a nanny, au pair and grandparents to help and to supervise mealtimes, but maybe at their age, all your DC need is love and attention from you.
Sorry to be harsh.

[Inkanta]

I think this must be a wind up!

[OttiliaVonBCup]

Oh!

I thought you were the infamous
MN chicken, today's Thursday so it must be risotto with watered down stock.

[StillStayingClassySanDiego]

oh it gets better, a Nanny as well!

I thought that a native French speaker would be even better now dc1 at school but she's not a teacher.

[Inkanta]

Fire her - she's useless!!

[HeartsTrumpDiamonds]

Can we tell each other to fuck off now as long as MNHQ doesn't understand the language?

[Yarp]

This is the thread that keeps on giving.

[maybebabybee]

I am crying with laughter. This thread is brilliant.

[Badgerwife]

I used to get this all the time in my early twenties. 'You're French, why don't you get a job in a school?' or 'why don't you become a teacher?' as if my being fluent must automatically make me want to work with children and that it should be an easy job to get into for someone like me.

Basically, people think: speak another language = can teach anyone said language.
Bollocks, I mean bolleaux et n'importe quoi

[Yarp]

I wonder if the 'accident' she's referring to is an accident of the toileting variety.

I would like to think so, because that would provide even more grist to the mill that is AIBU

[OTheHugeManatee]

"Jocasta, pourqui est-ce que le majordome de caleçons est
engagé a shagger le nanny pendant que tu raids le frigo pour les Froot Shoots que tu know tu n'est pas allowed?"

[MimiLabonq]

The mistake was hiring an au pair with perfect English.

The only way to achieve what you want through an au pair and not a language teacher, is to have an au pair who does NOT speak English. She would need to speak to the children in French only, without the presence of English speaking adults. Total immersion, for several hours a day.

Also, all TV in French (e.g. DVDs or YouTube), easy win right there.

[MimiLabonq]

But then, you also have a duty to make sure the au pair gets to practice English with you, and arrange English language classes. It's only fair.

[FabulousFudge]

Funniest thread for ages! Even better if ifs true!

[wannabestressfree]

My first thoughts are if you are speaking french at work then why not at home as..... You know...., their mother. Won't that improve their skills?
Also.... How the other 'arf live. I really can't get worked up about it.

[sparkysparkysparky]

For a laugh we watch a My Little Pony dvd with French subtitles. Can I be your au pair because I am supremely qualified.

[maybebabybee]

"They already know colours and shapes - I WANT THEM SPEAKING FLUENT FRENCH, DAMMIT!'

[listsandbudgets]

By the way DP has a 9 year old girl in her class who does not speak fluent French though she does speak some. Her mother is French and she spends a few weeks every year with French relatives.

while I'm at it DD has another friend also 9 who does not speak much Polish. Her mother is Polish.. clearly useless

Girl with Hungarian father in year above... not much Hungarian from her though

Perhaps she should all sack their parent on the basis they are clearly useless!

[wallypops]

Ok I'm a teacher of English living in France and my kids are bilingual because everything at home is in English. TV, books, me etc. We are all bilingual but agreed to only speak English at home. We have other English speakers staying with us constantly which forces the issue.

When the youngest didn't want to SPEAK English we got an English childminder. She already understood English but couldn't see the point in speaking it as we all understood her.

I'm sorry to disappoint you but the only way to really improve your kids French is to make it 100% at home.

Plus an au pair au pairs and a teacher teaches.

[Triplegandt]

YAB a little U to expect your DCs to know more than colors and shapes at the moment.

However, it does sound like the AP isn´t doing her job properly. Possibly she is confused about what her role actually is because it seems like you have a host of other people looking after DCs. You could have a chat with her to emphasise how important it is to you that they are learning french. After all, that is what you're paying her to do! Also maybe consider doing informal weekly progress tests - this could be the push that her and DCs need!

[The5DayChicken]

Just clicked Ottilia!

That is indeed the inspiration for the user name. Coincidentally, we are on chicken today in the form of breast with veg. . The bird was only cooked yesterday though

[Optimist1]

Was it you who posted here a couple of weeks ago, OP? If not, then you have a soulmate - she will validate your view of the world.

[blueshoes]

OP, YABU to post about aupairs on AIBU. The frothy reaction on this thread is seen even on the childcare threads so don't expect sensible advice on AIBU.

If you told her she has to speak French as part of her role and she accepted the aupair role on this basis, then speak French to your dcs she must. It is hardly any hardship considering how light her duties are. It is totally cushy. Other posters on this thread who were previous aupairs said they did it. Of course it can be done. Of course not to teacher standard, but she must at least do it to facilitate immersion and learning French by osmosis. It is her native language FFS.

Performance manage her as per what Tripleguard suggests. Then move her on if there is no improvement. It is not as if you will miss her as all the heavy lifting around the house is done by your other half. It would be so easy to find another French speaking aupair to do nothing to do all day but speak French.

[blueshoes]

your other staff