Is my au pair useless?

[winewithcakeplease]

AIBU to expect au pair to teach children more?

My main reason for hiring ap is to help my 2 ds (3 and 4yo) learn French. Ap KNOWS this 100%, she isn't here to improve her English, it's already perfect.

They haven't started speaking any more French at all and it's been almost a month! I want her to help them learn French vocabulary by looking at books and pointing at words etc. I know he has tried because since her being here two of our lovely French children's books have been ripped whilst she was with them! They seem to mainly be playing with Lego/ toys which is not what I want as they already know colours, shapes etc.

She needs to speak French even when telling then off- ds2 had accident and she didn't speak French at all throughout dealing with it!

I am really frustrated by all this and really questioning why I've even bothered to have au pair, should I be? Are my hopes too high? And if so, what can I do to make her do her job better!?

[Getuhda348]

She needs to get to know the children first. A stranger coming into your home only speaking a foreign language to them would be very unsettling! Children learn through play.

[Glitoris]

The housekeeper had to let her in at midnight??!

This has to be a wind-up....Nanny,housekeeper,au pair....nah,don't believe it.

[TryToEngageBrainFirst]

Glitoris

Great name!!!!!

[TheDowagerCuntess]

I am amazed that people are taking this so seriously - stop it, you're being made a mug of!

[RoboticSealpup]

Hard to tell, OP. You should probably hire someone to keep an eye on her and assess whether she's making enough effort.

[Whipnaenae]

Maybe it's not your au pair who is useless.. I mean, most toddlers would be fluent in French after a WHOLE month..

[nocoolnamesleft]

Au pair
Eating in room
Live in nanny
Cleaner/ironer
Housekeeper
Bilingualism better than if parents speak another language

House!

[maybebabybee]

Oh sorry, I'm calling wind up on this one now. You have a housekeeper too? And your OP doesn't have a set of keys? And there's no 'room' for her to eat when your DC do?

Wind up.

[ToysRLuv]

Meh, you blew it at the meals on lap trays..

[Mehitabel6]

I think it is a wind up!
In a minute we will find that there is a mandarin teacher staying in August!

[CuttedUpPear]

Je rire jusqu'a mes ribs hurt

[306235388]

Why don't you get the AP to teach the housekeeper, nanny, ironing lady and grandma French first and then the kids will be truly immersed in the language? It can't be that hard surely?

When / where do the nanny and housekeeper eat dinner btw? I cannot imagine why the AP would not want a TV dinner with her uppity employers every night. That was my idea of a fab night as a 20 something.

[Bettercallsaul1]

Could I suggest you add a doorman to your household retinue whose specific duty would be answering the front door to avoid the housekeeper being disturbed? I'm concerned that you're overworking your staff!

[Bettercallsaul1]

Of course, you would need a sub-doorman so they could both have breaks.

[CuttedUpPear]

Recommended reading for les enfants:

Mots d'heures: guesses, rames.

Someone else oblige moi and do the link, I'm just on the app et therefore indeposÄ?.

[Bettercallsaul1]

As for her not joining you and hubby for your TV dinners, I would find that tray annoying too.

[LIZS]

You eat off your laps and expect ap to join you! Why does she not get to eat at the table. Hardly setting a good example to dc. Maybe she is finding the household somewhat overcrowded and stifling.

[FlorenceMattell]

Maybe Au pair is not French, that's what her English is so good.
Could you send the children to live in France ?

[Jen1610]

This thread is hilarious.

[Mehitabel6]

If she is French she is probably used to the family all sitting around a table and feels uncomfortable with it on laps.

[TheDowagerCuntess]

'If she is French'.

She's not real, let alone French.

[Crinkle77]

This is a joke right?

[TheDowagerCuntess]

Yes. It's a joke.

People replying in earnest are making fools of themselves.

[Pumpkinpositive]

This is why I wanted AP we DO speak French at home when possible- I am not a native speaker though so it's never quite the same.

What do you mean "when possible"? Does your partner speak French? If so, it should be possible for you to speak to your children in French most if not all of the time when it's just the four of you together.

If your partner is not conversant in French, then you can speak to your children in French when he/she is not around.

I grew up abroad and had a number of friends from bi/multi lingual homes. Generally speaking, the parent who speak say, French, would speak to the child in that language at home and if the other parent also spoke French, conversations at home would be conducted in French.

Outside the home, the child would converse with others in say, Italian (learned at nursery, from friends, the TV).

Back living in the UK, I have a friend whose partner is South American (Spanish first language). Friend has also learned Spanish to a high, if not fluent, level. At home, when all three are together, they speak in Spanish.

If friend is alone with child, they speak in English. If friend's partner is alone with child, they speak Spanish. Outside the home, child goes to nursery and watches English tv. All her outside interactions are conducted in English.

What the parents did not do was helicopter some Spanish au pair into spend a few weeks a year with this child and expect the child to be willing and able to converse with the AP in Spanish, having received little or no groundwork beforehand.

If you want your children to speak French, you should be willing to speak French to them in the first instance.

[UptheChimney]

The evening meals on laps in front of the television sealed it as a wind up for me.