Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is my au pair useless?

168 replies

winewithcakeplease · 23/07/2015 12:21

AIBU to expect au pair to teach children more?

My main reason for hiring ap is to help my 2 ds (3 and 4yo) learn French. Ap KNOWS this 100%, she isn't here to improve her English, it's already perfect.

They haven't started speaking any more French at all and it's been almost a month! I want her to help them learn French vocabulary by looking at books and pointing at words etc. I know he has tried because since her being here two of our lovely French children's books have been ripped whilst she was with them! They seem to mainly be playing with Lego/ toys which is not what I want as they already know colours, shapes etc.Grin

She needs to speak French even when telling then off- ds2 had accident and she didn't speak French at all throughout dealing with it!

I am really frustrated by all this and really questioning why I've even bothered to have au pair, should I be? Are my hopes too high? And if so, what can I do to make her do her job better!?

OP posts:
PurpleSwift · 23/07/2015 12:47

It sounds like what your au pair is actually doing is being an au pair and not a teacher...how dare she! Hmm

Said them to French lessons.

penny13610 · 23/07/2015 12:51

Interesting first post Hmm

The5DayChicken · 23/07/2015 13:12

I agree with you OP. Imagine my frustration when I realised my doctor wasn't managing my household budget.

TwinkieTwinkle · 23/07/2015 13:14

She deserves to be fired . Imagine being hired as an au pair and doing just that! Shocking.

HolgerDanske · 23/07/2015 13:16

Yes, you most certainly are...

icklekid · 23/07/2015 13:17

I would imagine in the event of an accident their priority was to comfort the child not speak to them in a language they can't understand. Singing songs, sharing books and playing games outside eg. Left, right, up, down at the park etc, suggest they go to a farm for the day and look at animals etc. They are still young so need to do it all by playing however your au pair may need guidance on this

EatShitDerek · 23/07/2015 13:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OttiliaVonBCup · 23/07/2015 13:18

Sorry chicken but I have to ask.
Today's Thursday, what's your incarnation today?

The5DayChicken · 23/07/2015 13:23

Have you got the right Chicken Ottilia...I'm quite confused by your question. Blush

Mehitabel6 · 23/07/2015 13:24

I expect that since they are so little she needs to communicate- they will look at her with incomprehension and completely ignore.

Mehitabel6 · 23/07/2015 13:28

I think you need to pay a proper rate for an experienced teacher if you want then to learn anything.

I can't really see the point because if they are to get anywhere they need to be able to converse with you in fluent French. If you have fluent French then why do you need the au pair?

Lonecatwithkitten · 23/07/2015 13:30

My DD has learnt some French, Spanish and Italian for various au pairs, but not by formal teaching with books. They have taught her nursery rhymes, played simple games, gone for walks and cooked together. I never asked for this it had been a brilliant side effect of these lovely girls and that DD was studying a language carousel at school and came home wanting to practice her new found skills.
They built a rapport in English with DD and then she asked about them growing up in their home country.
If the books have been ripped I would be concerned that your children have expressed a firm NO.

Mehitabel6 · 23/07/2015 13:32

Hopeless to try French unless she has made a very good relationship in English first.

slkk · 23/07/2015 13:34

It depends if the children already speak French. Then total immersion is a good way to develop fluency. When I was an au pair I was told to speak to the children in English and it did help them. I wasn't teaching it, just immersing them In it as I went about other childcare. The parents always spoke to me in their language so I had plenty of opportunity to improve that too. Obviously if child was upset etc I would speak in their language, but also repeat in English . I guess it depends what op has arranged with au pair.

BitOfFun · 23/07/2015 13:35

Hang on, you want your au pair to shout at your toddler in French because he wet himself?

Man, be prepared for him to grow up with some pretty niche fetishes...

listsandbudgets · 23/07/2015 13:37

Yup fire her shes clearly useless.

My friend used to be an au pair. She taught the children little bits of Spanish as they went but mainly through play - for example counting and colours but she did it because THEY showed an interest - slightly older children (5 and 7) who kept asking her what the Spanish word for things was. One thing they loved doing was showing her things and telling her the English and asking her the Spanish so they were all gaining by it.

Most of the time though she spoke English, looked after them and did the school runs because that is what she was there to do. Language teaching developed only as part of looking after and entertaining the children and was done for fun

Daffolil · 23/07/2015 13:37

Why would a young child who'd had an accident need telling off, regardless of the language it was done in? YABU

FuckingLiability · 23/07/2015 13:50

Are my hopes too high? And if so, what can I do to make her do her job better!?

Try shouting at her in French. Google says 'useless' in French is 'inutile'. HTH.

maybebabybee · 23/07/2015 13:51

The OP is never coming back, is she :)

UnbelievableBollocks · 23/07/2015 13:54

Je ne believe this pas.
Surely une au pair est ne pas une teacher de French.

Oh and Grin @ bof

ChampagneBabyCakes · 23/07/2015 14:00

Your kids will only speak french in a month if you take them to France!

rosesanddaisies · 23/07/2015 14:09

OP, firstly she's an au pair, there for child care, not as a language teacher. Hire a language tutor if you are insistent they learn French. Secondly, your children are little children they are NOT going to start speaking a foreign language just like that in only 4 weeks, not even a few words! That's not the way kids work. They get embarrassed etc. they auto respond in their first language. My friend's kids are half Japanese and can speak it fluently but refuse to use it over here, they'll only speak in it when they're back in Japan. You need a reality check hon x

OTheHugeManatee · 23/07/2015 14:15

Ce thread est hilaire Grin

Peut-etre les vipers de MN peuvent vous helper a teacher tes flocons speciaux de neige a parler mieux Franglais?

thecatsarecrazy · 23/07/2015 14:17
Grin
OTheHugeManatee · 23/07/2015 14:17

Alors, je vais starter tes etudes:

"Jocasta, ne touch pas le display de Monster Munch! Tu sais perfectment bien que tu aimes mieux les olives organiques."