How do I confront my OH about this?

[Madredear]

Hi ladies,
So last night I was being a snoopy dog, and just out of interest, looked at OH's texts page to see when I last texted him. However, I couldn't help but notice this number that he didn't save as a contact.
I opened the text, and in a nutshell, he asked if this girl was a shemale and the reply was yes. Then he gave her two pictures of himself (normal fully clothes ones), and she sent him a selfie of herself. I can't help but remember him saying: ''I've never slept with a shemale before but I think it's time ð?? x''

After that, he asked her if he'd have to come to her (she replied yes, and that she's staying at Queen's park). Then he inquired how much? She said 200. Anyway, the convocation ended when she asked when he'd come see her, to which he replied 'when I can afford you lol'.

I'm really confused.. How can I confront him about this, when in truth, I WAS in the wrong for snooping on his phone. What annoys me most is he didn't think to delete these messages, and his phone doesn't have a pass code and we always use each others candy crush etc so obviously he couldn't have been that bothered I found it
Whay can I do? Is this worth bringing up? I know where he is all the time week days (busy working) and he's always home promptly. At weekends, he is always with me or fishing.

Ha - load of bollocks, no pun intended!

I'd ignore it though.
You live in his house.
So much better to keep a nice easy house set up, and put up with him approaching other people for sex.

If you wanted to look at when you last texted someone you'd look at your own phone.

OP you maybe ought to ask for your post to be moved to relationships. Less biscuits handed out there.

Well, look at the evidence.

He knows you use his phone. He knows he has texts from a prostitute arranging a visit. He leaves his phone out when you're around. He hasn't deleted the messages or the phone number. He publicly followed a relevant Instagram account.

There are four options:

1 - He wants you to find the messages because he's too much of a coward to tell you himself.

2 - He doesn't care if you find the messages, because he's not fussed if you're around or not.

3 - He doesn't think you'll leave even if you do see the messages, so he's going to no effort to hide them.

4 - He's an idiot, but an idiot who managed to successfully find and contact a niche prostitute.

The first one is the most likely. The second and third are possible, but suggest that he doesn't give a damn about you or your relationship, so you're on borrowed time anyway. The last one is pretty unlikely.

Regardless, if you turn a blind eye, you'll be here in a few months when you've found actual evidence that he's been sleeping with prostitutes, and you still don't want to leave, and he still doesn't give a damn.

It's horrible, and I can't imagine how it must feel for you right now, and wanting to minimise it is absolutely normal. But you've made his excuses for him. You're already turning a blind eye so that it doesn't affect your life.

abouttime, exactly

Ugh. Bloody school holidays.

Do you really not have anything better to do with your time>

What a stupid thread.

He's planning on paying for a shag with a 'shemale' and you're worried about looking bad about snooping on his phone? No love, don't fret about that. He needs to go.

OP did the shemale by any chance say in the texts that they would like to have sex in your wedding dress?

Also at "hamlet fun"

just

School must be out!

C'mon guys, you all know what to do if you have doubts about a thread, and I don't think it includes looking up accounts that op has named on instagram. It also doesn't include repeatedly saying "if this is real/true"

None of us can make op leave/confront/whatever. She has no obligation to follow anyone's advice.

If your advice comes with the proviso that op HAS to abide by it, perhaps rethink before you type.

You have some fucked up priorities if you're more annoyed that he didn't cover his tracks than anything else.

Does your mum know you're mucking about on her MN account?