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Original poster

How do I confront my OH about this?

116 replies

Madredear · 23/07/2015 06:20

Hi ladies,
So last night I was being a snoopy dog, and just out of interest, looked at OH's texts page to see when I last texted him. However, I couldn't help but notice this number that he didn't save as a contact.
I opened the text, and in a nutshell, he asked if this girl was a shemale and the reply was yes. Then he gave her two pictures of himself (normal fully clothes ones), and she sent him a selfie of herself. I can't help but remember him saying: ''I've never slept with a shemale before but I think it's time ð?? x''

After that, he asked her if he'd have to come to her (she replied yes, and that she's staying at Queen's park). Then he inquired how much? She said 200. Anyway, the convocation ended when she asked when he'd come see her, to which he replied 'when I can afford you lol'.

I'm really confused.. How can I confront him about this, when in truth, I WAS in the wrong for snooping on his phone. What annoys me most is he didn't think to delete these messages, and his phone doesn't have a pass code and we always use each others candy crush etc so obviously he couldn't have been that bothered I found it Hmm
Whay can I do? Is this worth bringing up? I know where he is all the time week days (busy working) and he's always home promptly. At weekends, he is always with me or fishing.

OP posts:
Spartans · 23/07/2015 07:14

He didn't go through with it....yet!

He may never do now you have found out or (more likely) he will be sneaker about it.

Why not just ignore the issue, pretend you didn't see it and see how it plays out. You won't leave him, you will believe what he tells you. So maybe it's just best to leave it and see what happens. If you are happy to spend your life looking the other way, do it.

I am pretty sure he could find a she male closer to home, he doesn't have to go to London

MummaGiles · 23/07/2015 07:14

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Tanfastic · 23/07/2015 07:15

What if he never planned to go through with it?

Well stay with him then and live with it. Only you can decide if you want to stay with someone who looks up
Prostitutes for a bit of a laugh and seeks out MILFs in a google search. A bunch of Internet strangers can't tell you that.

LilyMayViolet · 23/07/2015 07:15

I would not be in the least surprised Mumma.

EponasWildDaughter · 23/07/2015 07:16

Aside from the fact that contacting prostitutes and discussing costs is a perfectly acceptable deal breaker in my book, it's fairly obvious that your DP is escalating his behavior and will end up 'going through with it' at some point pretty soon.

He's begun with porn, then following real people on instagram, and now he's found a prostitute and texted her. Next step - going through with it.

Spartans · 23/07/2015 07:17

mumma I just checked too Grin

Lots of shemale accounts no cute shemales. Even the #cuteshemales hasn't been used

EponasWildDaughter · 23/07/2015 07:18

Same lily

I like to think there may be someone with this problem out there reading this though, so it's always worth throwing some good advice out there :)

Bubblesinthesummer · 23/07/2015 07:20

I'm really struggling to believe any of this Hmm

LilyMayViolet · 23/07/2015 07:21

That's true and makes me feel better for wasting my time in the past trying to help people who turned out not to be genuine!

loolah83 · 23/07/2015 07:21

Maybe it's a stealth advert for a Queen's Park based she-male prostitute?

dilbert19912 · 23/07/2015 07:22

School holidays innit.

Original poster
Madredear · 23/07/2015 07:35

It's something along the lines of cutie Shemales, I don't see the issue and why you're looking it up? If you'd prefer to find the exact name, I will.

OP posts:
Original poster
Madredear · 23/07/2015 07:38

The exact name is 'shemalecuties'

OP posts:
BanditoShipman · 23/07/2015 07:47

'I spilt some milk on the carpet and when trying to clean it found a dead body underneath, should I confront my DH? I did spill the milk so am really worried he'll be cross about that' Hmm

dilbert19912 · 23/07/2015 07:48

Still an odd as fuck thread.

Redglitter · 23/07/2015 08:01

Why would you check someone's phone to see when you last texted them?? Why would that be something you'd need to know Hmm

redfairy · 23/07/2015 08:04

My ex husband had a similar fetish. I tried to ignore it because in every other way he was the perfect husband and father. Over the years he explored his fetish further and further; making contact with prostitutes then telling me he was just curious and had no intention if going through with it...so many lies. It ultimately destroyed our marriage and his next relationship. These days I still occasionally see his FB profile and his friends list is littered with trans folk so this is very definitely still a part of his fascination. I don't think these things just magically go away, he can't counsel himself out it so I would be asking myself if I want to be with a man wiho disrespected me enough to chat with prostitues online and is likely to carry on doing so.

why156 · 23/07/2015 08:05

"shemale"

Wondering whether snooping just as bad

I don't believe this - in a few pages mnhq will be deleting this thread IMO.

Original poster
Madredear · 23/07/2015 08:06

The fact people are finding this situation quite absurd and I'm sitting here calmly is raising red alarm bells for me for how precisely ridiculous this all is.

Although, I'm prepared to look the other way since I do still trust him and like another poster said, if I can live with it, why does it matter?

OP posts:
IcecreamHavoc · 23/07/2015 08:07
Hmm
ilovesooty · 23/07/2015 08:10

I imagine so.

Athenaviolet · 23/07/2015 08:10

This is why porn is a red flag in relationships.

ilovesooty · 23/07/2015 08:11

Oh and I'm a counsellor and I don't think it's a case for my services.

Original poster
Madredear · 23/07/2015 08:11

I've realized what's really bothering me is the fact he couldn't have bloody deleted those messages.

If he's going to have a bit of hamlets fun and NOT go through with such things, fine. But at least have enough respect to delete the messages.

OP posts:
NewFlipFlops · 23/07/2015 08:13

If it doesn't matter, why post about it? Confused