AIBU re gender neutral expectations?

[SrAssumpta]

When I was pregnant with DD I was a bit of a gender neutral nazi, it was all very well intended but perhaps a little obsessive and my desire for a gender neutral world for children seemed to produce an intense dislike for typical "girly" toys etc.

DD is 4 now and although I don't ever recall actually saying anything negative about the typical toys geared towards girls, it's definitely rubbed off on her and while I'm so proud of the little person she's become, I can't help but notice that she seems to think she should be choosing Batman over Barbie, pirates over princesses etc. I would have really liked to see what her preferences would have been had I not put such emphasis on gender neutral everything?

I heard a conversation the other day two women saying how the pink bikes with ribbons make them sick and raving about what little tomboys their girls are, but this is still seems like putting expectations on the children? It actually makes me cringe how much importance seems to be placed on girls not liking girly things nowadays and I think it's gone from gender neutral to anti typical girl?

I have a girl and a boy. I've brought them up to be as gender neutral as possible. I've always just let them have/play with whatever they like.

DD thinks she is a princess and if I want her to wear leggings or trousers, I literally have to force her to wear them. She wears fancy dress 99% of the time she is in the house. She loves anything sparkly, is obsessed with her hair and painting her nails ect.

DS loves being outside, making a mess, is obsessed with diggers/cars/tractors.

Basically I've got a stereotypical boy and girl. But, I've never forced these things on them. They like what they like and I'm happy knowing that. I am having a bit of trouble with DD at the moment though as she keeps telling me about 'girls colours' and that boys are stronger than girls ect ect. I hate it that people have told her this. It's so hard to get through to her.